


Tragedy and Second Chances

by GothicLitFan



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Allura has some conflicting emotions, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Tragedy, Angst with a Happy Ending, Body Hijacking, Bottom Shiro (Voltron), Do-Over, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Minor Original Character(s), Romance, Saving the future, Second Chances, Sexual Content, Shiro/Curtis mentioned throughout, Temporary Character Death, The two Shiro's talk, Time Travel, but in past tense, mentions of gore, they switch, which mostly appear once or twice
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2019-12-30 02:57:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 80,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18306797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GothicLitFan/pseuds/GothicLitFan
Summary: The Paladins have drifted apart after the war. When tragedy strikes, they are forced to deal with the death of one of their own. It leads to lives re-examined and questions asked. When Shiro is given the chance to save their fallen comrade he must decide if he also wants to change more than what he has been sent back to change.Season 8 fix-it. Starts out compliant and then diverges from canon.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This will try to follow the sequence of events that played out in season 8 but I haven't watched VLD since season 8 aired so some things will be out of order. But as this is canon divergent I'm okay with that. 
> 
> Main couple focus is Sheith with some mention of the others. 
> 
> The epilogue will be mentioned occasionally but only in a passing manner and in the past tense.

Shiro cried. He cried more than he ever had before. The datapad in his hands was nothing but a blur as the tears continued their seemingly never-ending journey down his cheeks. He thought he could distract himself but everything now reminded him of Keith. And it was overwhelming.

He and the other Paladins had received the message earlier that day.

Keith was dead.

Kolivan had told them that he had died in a landslide trying to save some alien children. He’d died a hero. The children had been saved but they’d lost Keith.

The news had hit them like a truck. Keith; the infallible, strong-willed, courageous, strong-headed leader was gone. No-one held back their grief, not even Kolivan. They had all talked about Keith after receiving the news.

* * *

" _Are you sure? Was it really…?” Hunk asked. He hiccuped as he tried to repress his cries enough to speak._

_“Indeed. We are certain or you would not have been told.” Kolivan replied. The slight hope that each of them had that Keith was still out there somewhere died with his words._

_“Was he happy?” Shiro recalled Pidge asking._

_Kolivan looked sombrely at the screen, “He was happy with his work.”_

_The unspoken ‘No he wasn’t, not really’ didn’t go unheard. That started a fresh wave of tears. The worst part was that due to the Blades’ work the former Paladins couldn’t go and say their goodbyes. Keith had already been cremated._

_Every one of them felt bad. They began to realise then just how little they had actually stayed in contact with Keith. Just once a year, unless there was an emergency. And even that was if all of them could make it. They should have made more of an effort. They should have…_

_Regrets and guilt quickly overwhelmed the group as they thought about their friend. Lost opportunities and chances passed by filled their minds as they processed the news. They all felt horrible, but particularly Shiro._

_It had reminded the other Paladins of when they had lost Shiro. Back then they hadn’t known each other very well or for very long and the loss hadn’t been felt quite as strongly. They’d tried to move on then and focus on the mission they had been given. Now the news that one of them was gone for good, and that there was no way to save them, was like a punch to the gut. None of them could believe that Keith was gone for good, just like Allura. It didn't feel real and yet the pain they were feeling told them it was. All of them wished that this was all just a bad dream and that Keith would reappear alive and well._

_Conversations about Keith had continued over the next few days as the group tried to process their grief. It was their way of trying to keep some part of Keith alive. These were the hardest for Shiro to hear. He’d wanted Keith to be happy and to learn that he wasn’t truly happy, hurt. It had been why he’d pulled away. Keith deserved better than a man like him. One who was damaged and struggling. But it appeared it had backfired. He thought about the old saying ‘the road to hell is paved with good intentions’. He hated the thought that in the attempt to do what he thought was best for Keith he had hurt him. He hated that he had done that to his best friend. Keith had been the one person he had never wanted to hurt and he felt terrible that his actions had caused the very thing he had wanted to avoid._

* * *

Shiro put down the datapad and held his head in his hands. Feeling a cold sensation he looked down at his hands. His wedding ring.

His marriage was over but he still wore the ring. He had been determined to put on a brave face and prove to everyone that everything was fine. It wasn't fine, far from it. Nothing was fine in his life at the moment. Another wave of tears started. Shiro’s heart ached as his thoughts inevitably turned to Keith. He had learned that Keith had never been with anyone because...because he’d been waiting for him. He’d waited for Shiro to do something, say something. He had been waiting for Shiro to make the first move after what had happened at the cloning facility. He couldn’t help the guilt that came with the knowledge of just how much Keith had loved him and how often Keith put him first, even above his own desires. He almost felt like he’d killed Keith himself. He was the reason Keith had been on the other side of the universe, because Keith couldn’t watch him be with someone else. The thought that Keith had been patiently waiting for a conversation that Shiro had been too much of a coward to have had been a devastating shot to the heart. 

Shiro took the ring off and threw it across the room. It hit the wall and bounced onto the floor. He couldn’t bear to look at it. He felt like he had betrayed Keith. After everything Keith had done for him he had owed Keith a conversation at the very least. Instead he’d isolated himself and focused on the ATLAS. He couldn’t imagine the pain he’d put Keith through as he’d waited for Shiro to start that conversation. Instead he’d had to watch as he’d distanced himself from the Paladins and then watch him in a relationship with someone else. A relationship he had rushed into in a poor attempt to, to...to do what he wasn't sure. The whole thing now felt like a farce and in the process had hurt the people closest to him and messed everything up.

Shiro had never felt so selfish and guilty. Not even for the things he had done as ‘The Champion’. He sobbed into his hands as he thought about all the missed opportunities and mistakes. 

He deserved this.

He deserved the heartache and the pain.

He'd made so many, too many mistakes.

He’d treated Keith so poorly.

He wished he could go back and change it all. Shiro knew it wasn’t just the grief talking but he just wanted Keith back. He wanted his best friend back. He had for longer than he was willing to admit to himself. He wanted their banter and support for each other. He wanted what they’d had while they were Paladins. He wanted to say he was sorry, to admit that he was a coward and had screwed up, to beg for forgiveness. But now he would never get the chance.

He wanted to hear Keith’s voice, see his face. In truth, it was something he had wanted for a long time but he had always put off making amends. He kept coming up with weaker and weaker excuses to keep his distance when in reality he was scared. Scared he would do or say the wrong thing and lose Keith forever.

It seemed his fears came true anyway.

Shiro cried himself to sleep that night. His dreams were filled with Keith.

* * *

Over the next few weeks the Paladins grew increasingly worried about Shiro. Since the news of Keith’s death Shiro seemed to have retreated into himself. He’d become a shadow of his former self. He robotically went through the motions of day-to-day life but the emotion seemed to be gone. It was like when Keith died, a piece of Shiro died too. They were worried about him but didn’t know how to help.

Shiro had applied for a job at the Garrison and signed the divorce papers before sending them to Curtis. He wanted his old life back. He finally admitted to himself that he wasn’t happy with how things were. Funny how death can make you realise that. It was the push he needed to do what he had been thinking of for a while. He wished it hadn’t happened like this. He still wished he could go back and stop himself from making those mistakes in the first place. He hated that his desire to do the right thing had only seemed to mistake after mistake.

While he appeared stoic during the day, at night he cried himself to sleep. The pain was not going away, if anything it seemed to be getting worse.

The worst thing was the nightmares. Since receiving the news his dreams had morphed from memories of the arena to how he had failed Keith. His dreams were filled with memories of Keith that morphed into horrific scenarios where he couldn’t save him. He was always too late to help or forced to watch as Keith died.  They always left him waking in a cold sweat and sobbing once again. His waking hours were haunted by the dream version of Keith saying things like ‘You left me’, ‘You turned your back on me. You promised you wouldn’t so why did you?’. It brought the guilt and self-loathing to almost unbearable levels.

Shiro sat in his office and read through reports. He had to do something, anything to distract himself from the thoughts about Keith. It was tough as everything seemed to remind him of Keith in some way. Somewhere he and Keith used to go, something Keith used to use, someone Keith used to talk to or about, something he thought Keith would like. He couldn’t even look at sunsets anymore. Tears welled up in his eyes as he sat there.

He swallowed and shook his head. No, now was not the time for tears. He could do that at his apartment.

The door to his office opened and Lance, Pidge and Hunk walked though.

“Do you three need something?” He asked, internally wincing at how formal he sounded.

“Shiro, we’re worried about you.” Pidge said as she took a step closer to his desk.

“Yeah man, we know how much Keith meant to you but you can’t keep doing this to yourself. You’re going to burn out. Keith wouldn’t want you to do that.” Lance said as he stuck his hands in his pockets.

Shiro glared at them, “How would you know what Keith wanted? And I can’t, I have work to do.”

He knew his words were harsh but he really wasn’t in the mood to have this conversation and certainly didn’t wanted to open the floodgates. He knew if he started crying he wouldn’t stop. He would have thought after three weeks he would have run out of tears, but he hadn’t yet.

“Shiro, Keith would want to you be happy.” Hunk said.

“Don’t you think I know that? All he ever wanted was for me to be happy, even at the expense of himself. Did you know that he waited for me? He was waiting for me the entire time. And I was too stupid, too cowardly to see it. I broke his heart and sent him to the other side of the universe. Now he’s, he’s...” Shiro couldn’t bring himself to say the words, “It’s all because of me. He left to get away from me.”

He said the last part as a whisper as the tears began to fall. The others began to cry and Pidge rushed forward to hug Shiro. He sobbed in her arms and they were soon joined by Lance and Hunk.

“Keith really did love you, that’s true. Which is why he would want you to be happy.” Pidge said, although she knew the words wouldn’t comfort Shiro.

“How can I be happy when he’s gone and it’s because of me? I pushed him away. He went to that planet to get away from me. How can I be happy when he’s gone?” He sobbed.

The only sounds heard for a while were the sounds of crying.

“You're forgetting that Keith wanted to help people. He would’ve gone to help those less fortunate around the universe no matter what happened. You can’t blame yourself Shiro. Keith certainly didn’t. He may not have been the happiest he could have been but he was content. He was helping people. He enjoyed doing that and he really did want you to be happy.” Lance said, hoping the words would be of some comfort.

If anything those words made Shiro feel even more guilty. He guessed the old saying was true, 'you don’t know what you have until it’s gone'.

Another wave of tears started, “I just want him back.”

“We all do.”

Shiro eventually cried himself into exhaustion. The other Paladins eventually left when their own tears had run dry and Shiro laid down on the sofa in his office, hoping sleep would come. It was difficult over these last three weeks. Unless he cried himself to sleep, he couldn’t seem to sleep at all. He knew this wasn’t healthy and that he needed help but he didn’t want to talk about it, at least not yet. Talking about it would mean that Keith was gone for good.

And Shiro wasn’t sure he could handle that.

It still felt like Keith was just away on another Blades’ mission and would eventually be back. If he admitted that Keith wasn’t coming back, he really didn’t know what state he would be in. It was already hard enough. Even when he said the words it didn’t feel real. He could say the words but it was like saying a fictional character was dead. Gone but you knew that they would come back in some way. If he talked about it as if it was real, he feared that his heart would shatter beyond repair. It already felt like it was being held together by a thread. There was a part of him that hoped that Kolivan had been mistaken and that Keith would be found alive.

With that thought Shiro fell into an uneasy sleep.

* * *

_Shiro found himself floating. He didn’t know where he was but it felt familiar. The dark swirls of pinks and purples slowly gave way to blues and whites. He could move his body but didn’t appear to be able to move from the spot he was at. He knew he should be alarmed but there was something calming about this place. Almost like he had been there before._

“ _Hello?” He called out into the seemingly endless expanse all around him._

“ _Save him.” It was a whisper. Shiro barely heard it over his own yells._

“ _What? Hello? Who’s there?” He called out again._

“ _You can still save him.” The disembodied voice said. He couldn’t pinpoint the voice but it sounded familiar. The words filled him with a sense of urgency and familiarity. Like there was something he was forgetting, something important and it was on the tip of his tongue. It was like he knew that there was something important he needed to do but couldn't figure out what it was._

_Shiro looked around and couldn’t see anyone or anything, “Save who?”_

_He didn’t hear the voice again but he began to feel like something else was here with him._

_He opened his mouth to speak…_

* * *

“Shiro.”

Shiro’s eyes snapped open saw Matt stood over him, “Matt?”

“Yeah. I just got back.” He said as he moved away, allowing Shiro to sit up. Matt took a seat on the arm of the sofa.

“I heard about Keith. I’m so sorry. How have you been?” He asked as he put a hand on Shiro’s shoulder. He quickly removed it after seeing the stricken look on Shiro’s face when he looked at his hand.

“I’m guessing you’ve seen Pidge. I’m sure she told you.”

“Yeah she did. But I wanted to hear it from you. We’re still friends, you know. I wanted to make sure you’re doing okay.”

Shiro shook his head, “How can I be okay?”

“I’m here if you need to talk.”

“That’s all anyone wants to do, talk. I don’t want to talk. I want Keith to come back. I don’t know what to do. I treated him so badly. I was such a coward. I screwed everything up. And now I’ll never have a chance to fix anything.”

“Sure you can.”

“No I can’t! Keith’s dead! He’s never coming back! I can’t make things right with a dead man!” He yelled as more tears fell.

Even Matt’s eyes filled with tears at Shiro’s outburst, “Keith wouldn’t want this for you.”

Shiro scoffed, “So everyone knows what Keith wants, wanted but me.”

“Well, you have been known to be a bit dense at times.” Matt attempted to lighten the mood but knew that Shiro sometimes needed a push. He knew his friend could sometimes be stubborn or dense and needed a firm hand to guide him at times.

Shiro glared at him as another wave of guilt hit him. It seems everyone but him knew about how Keith felt about him.

“Why did no-one say anything? Why did no-one point out that I was missing something?” He asked as he put his face in his hands.

Matt felt bad for his friend. He didn’t know what to do to console him. He knew nothing he said would fix this and there was nothing he could do to make this right. He had never seen Shiro this emotional about anything or anyone. It scared him. He didn’t know if the next thing he said or did would send Shiro into a spiral. He felt like he was dealing with a ticking time bomb. He was scared for his friend but knew that he needed to talk about this.

“We didn’t feel like it was our place. Besides if someone said something to Keith, his first concern was always you. He waited for a signal from you.”

“Someone should have said something, anything. I needed to know I wasn’t imagining things. I needed a push in the right direction. I needed to hear that my fears and doubts were ridiculous and unfounded. I needed a push to take that next step.”

Shiro’s shoulders shook as he sobbed again, “I wish he was here, Matt. I just…Why him?” His sobs and hiccups were soon the only sounds in the room.

It was a while before Shiro calmed down enough to speak, “God, I just screw everything up, don’t I?”

Matt opened his mouth to contradict his friend but Shiro continued talking.

“I just, I screw everything up. I let the best thing, best person in my life walk away. I even pushed him away and for what? I don’t even understand why I did it and now I’ve lost him for good. I was so worried about messing up our friendship that I ruined it without even realising. I felt so undeserving of him that I let it all get between us. I feel like I lost him long before all this and now I can never make it right. I can never make amends. It feels like every decision I make is the wrong one.”

With that Shiro dissolved into tears once again. Regret for the decisions he had made overwhelming him and causing more tears to fall.

Matt’s heart broke for his friend but he was also angry. He desperately wanted to shake Shiro and yell at him about how he had missed what was right in front of him. How the very thing he had been searching for had remained steadfast and loyal by his side. He had always wondered how Shiro had missed Keith’s very blatant affections. He longed to give Shiro a piece of his mind and tell him what he had really thought about the decisions he had made but he knew this wasn’t the time.

But he couldn’t help but wonder about Shiro’s reaction to Keith’s death. It had devastated them all but Shiro seemed to be hit particularly hard by it. It made him wonder why. Sure the two had been best friends and he knew of Keith’s feelings but he was beginning to wonder if they had been returned. Shiro’s grief was not surprising to Matt but the level of it was. He really didn’t know what to make of it. But he also knew that now wasn’t the time to question it. His friend was hurting and he wanted to do what he could to comfort his friend.

He put his hand on his shoulder and squeezed. He couldn’t think of comforting words but he hoped just being there made Shiro a little less alone.

It didn’t but Shiro appreciated the sentiment.

He felt like a void existed between him and everyone else. He had felt that way for a long time. But now it felt like the void was only growing bigger. It felt like it had been widening and he hadn’t even noticed, and now it was so wide he didn’t know if he could cross it. He didn't know how to even start figuring out how to bridge the gap.

He soon bid Matt goodbye and headed back to his apartment. He once again had the dream of that place and ghe mysterious words. Over the next few days Shiro continued to have that odd dream. It was always the same. Same location, same words. He really didn’t know what to make of it. Maybe it was his subconscious playing tricks on him. His desire to see Keith playing out in his head but a part of him told him it was something else. He didn’t tell anyone but his dreams were the only time when he didn’t feel like he was drowning in his grief. The dreams also gave him hope for some reason. Maybe he was hoping to be told that there was a way to save Keith and he knew that if he told people then they would push him to get help. They would push him to move on and that’s not what he wanted.

He had broken the promise he made Keith once and he was never going to do it again. He wasn’t going to give up on Keith. When he had died, Keith hadn’t given up on him. Death hadn’t stood in their way before and Shiro was determined for it to not stand in their way now. He wasn’t ready to let Keith go. He was determined to hold onto him.

He longed for the night when he could dream. It became a welcome respite from the day and he welcomed its now reassuring familiarity.

However one night the dream changed.


	2. Chapter 2

_Shiro found himself floating once again in the same space as he had each night for the past few days. He admired the surroundings as they were becoming familiar to him._

“ _You can save him.” The voice rang out._

“ _Save who? Who are you?” Shiro said as he looked around. He still hadn’t figured out what was going on or who the voice was talking about._

 _Again he felt as if a presence was approaching._ _Suddenly a large white lion appeared in front of him. His eyes widened and moved his hands to in front of him._

“ _I mean you no harm.” The lion spoke._

“ _Who, what are you?” Shiro said as he slowly lowered his arms. For whatever reason he believed this being’s words._

“ _I’m surprised you do not recognise me. But then you have closed yourself off from me for a while.”_

_Shiro looked closely at the creature in front of him, “Black?”_

_The lion shook it’s head._

“ _ATLAS?!”_

_The lion nodded, “I worked within the ATLAS ship, yes. But we had met before, when that witch used you to enter Oriande.”_

_Shiro stared open mouthed at the lion, “But...”_

_The lion laughed, “Take your time Paladin. I am sure you have many questions.”_

_Shiro simply stared dumbly at the lion as he tried to process what was going on. Seeing all he had during his time as a Paladin he wasn’t surprised that he was here, talking to an inter-dimensional lion that could talk._

“ _Where are we?”_

“ _We are between universes. It is the gateway to Oriande and many other places.” The Lion answered cryptically._

“ _How were you in the ATLAS?”_

“ _The Altean crystal. It houses a part of my essence. It’s why it was in the princess’ tiara. It was to be used when royalty entered Oriande. With it in your arm, you were able to connect with me and direct my essence into the ATLAS as well as your own quintessence, bringing it to life.”_

_Shiro nodded, not really understanding, “Why am I here?”_

“ _As I said, because I connected with you. We have a bond both as the White Lion and ATLAS. It was easiest to contact you. May I ask you a few questions?”_

“ _Uhh, yeah sure.” He said clearing his throat._

“ _Why did you close yourself off from me? Why did you leave? You seemed so happy to be piloting the ATLAS and yet when that human started hanging around you walked away, why?”_

_Shiro felt so guilty. So it wasn’t just Keith and the Paladins he had walked away from, he’d also walked away from the ATLAS. He looked down._

“ _I don’t, I don’t really know. I thought that was what I wanted, what I needed. But it wasn’t. Looking back it really wasn’t.”_

“ _Your actions confuse me. You say you want one thing and yet your heart says another. What is the truth?”_

“ _What?”_

“ _You seemed your happiest when you were piloting. You felt a deep satisfaction when you helped people. You enjoyed it. Yet you walked away. Our connection still existed, despite how you closed yourself off, but I could still feel you. You seemed happy when you were Captain of the ATLAS. You also appeared to be your happiest when you were with the Red Paladin. Yet you walked away. And then I felt a wave of grief. Once again connected to the Red Paladin. It seems your most extreme emotions are always linked to him.”_

“ _You really felt all that?” Shiro said. He started ringing his hands together as he began to feel nervous._

“ _Yes. You did not answer my questions. Why did you walk away from what made you happy?”_

_Shiro didn’t really know what to say, “I don’t understand.”_

“ _I think you do. You allowed that human to convince you to walk away, why?”_

_Shiro was speechless, “I, I don’t know. I thought it was what I wanted. I thought I wanted normal. A normal life. The one everyone dreams of.”_

“ _Everyone but you.”_

_Shiro nodded, “I suppose so. You really think I wasn’t happy after the war?”_

_The White Lion shook it’s head, “I never said you weren’t happy. I believe there were times where you were happy. But you were never your happiest, not like how you were when piloting the ATLAS or with the Paladins.”_

_The surroundings suddenly began to swirl and shift. The White Lion began to fade._

“ _Wait! Where are you going?!” Shiro called out and reached for the White Lion._

“ _I am always with you, Black Paladin.”_

* * *

Shiro woke with a start.

He laid in his bed and looked around the room. He closed his eyes again and concentrated. With his conversation with the White Lion still fresh in his mind, he reached out. It was faint but he felt some sort of connection. Similar to that with the Black Lion but different enough for him to distinguish the two. He smiled for the first time since he’d received the news of Keith’s death.

He put his hand over his heart and realised that he hadn’t asked about who it was he could save. A part of him hoped that the White Lion would say Keith but he highly doubted that would be the case. Keith was gone. And Shiro had always had the worst luck in life. He highly doubted this would be the case when things rarely worked out in his favour.

He wasn’t entirely sure how to process it all. But the calmness that he felt when he saw the White Lion was something he now sought out. It felt better than the pain he felt in his waking hours. He knew his friends were right that Keith wouldn’t have wanted this for him but he didn’t know what else to do. Keith had never given up on him and Shiro wasn’t prepared to give up on Keith. Even if he felt like he had in the past, he was willing to do anything to get Keith back. But he wasn’t sure if that was why the White Lion was reaching out to him. He hoped it was. It was now the only thing that getting him through the day.

He went through his day mechanically. He couldn’t wait to go back to sleep and see the White Lion again.

That night he rested his head on the pillow and hoped he would see the White Lion. He wasn't disappointed.

* * *

“ _Welcome back, Black Paladin.”_

_Shiro turned around and saw the White Lion in front of him._

“ _I forgot to ask yesterday, but who do you keep telling me I can save?”_

_The White Lion tilted its head to the side, “Isn’t it obvious? I mean the Red Paladin.”_

_Shiro was shocked, “Keith?!”_

“ _Yes. There is a way to save him.”_

“ _How?!”_

 _The White Lion seemed to stare through him and said nothing for a while before bowing his head,_ “ _I’m afraid it is time for you to go, Black Paladin.”_

“ _No! No! Please not yet! How can I save Keith?!” He yelled as he felt the world around him fade away._

* * *

He woke with a jolt again. He closed his eyes and willed himself back to sleep. When it didn’t happen he tossed and turned in bed. He cried more tears, at what he didn’t know. He had no idea why the dream had been so short this time. Opposed to the night before when it had seemed much longer. He still didn’t understand what was going on.

Ever since Keith’s death he had hoped, prayed for there to be a way to change it. Now that the White Lion had told him there was a way he was willing to do anything, everything to save Keith. He desperately wanted to go back to sleep but at that moment his alarm blared through the room.

He groaned and switched it off with more force than he needed.

He got up and got ready for the day. However he spent the entire day distracted. All he wanted to do was go back to sleep. His thoughts became consumed with the idea that he could bring Keith back in some capacity. He cancelled any meetings he had and dedicated all his time to getting to know the ATLAS again. He shut himself away in the bridge of the ATLAS and tried to focus on their connection. 

And that’s where Lance found him. The sudden change in his behaviour worried his friends and they knew that they needed to talk to him.

“Hey.” Lance greeted as he walked into the bridge of the ATLAS.

Shiro turned around and waved to Lance, “Hey, what are you doing here?”

“We have another meeting to go too.”

“Tell them I’m busy.”

Lance sighed, “Shiro. What are you doing?”

Shiro looked at him confused, “What do you mean?”

“For the past several hours you’ve been cooped up in here. What is it you’re doing?”

“I’m getting to know the ATLAS again. It’s an impressive ship and should never have been left idle. It should be out there, helping those in need. It never should have been retired. I shouldn’t have retired.”

Lance put his hands in his pockets and looked at Shiro. He didn’t like the look in his eyes. He seemed almost manic. It worried him.

“Have you been sleeping?”

“What? Yes, I have.”

“Shiro, what is this really about?”

Shiro looked at Lance, “There’s a way to save Keith.”

“WHAT?!”

“I know that’s what I thought too but the White Lion said there was a way. I just have to find out how. Plus the White Lion was what allowed the ATLAS to transform. It knows a way to bring Keith back. I know it so that's what I've been doing, I've been trying to build our bond again.”

Lance sighed as he looked at Shiro. Had Shiro lost it? His worry for his friend increased tenfold as he listened to his former idol’s words.

“Shiro, are you sure about this? I mean I know how you feel. I would give anything to bring Allura back but I don’t think this is healthy. I know you miss Keith but is this really the best way to deal with it?”

Shiro looked at Lance, “I know how this sounds Lance. But I have to try. If someone told you that there was a way to save Allura, wouldn’t you at least try it? Even if it failed. You would have at least tried. I just, I can’t do nothing. If there is a way to bring him back, I have to try. I can’t live in a world that doesn’t have him in it. I was an idiot to have let him go the first time. I won’t do it again.”

Lance sighed and put a hand on Shiro’s shoulder. He understood where Shiro was coming from. He really did. It was becoming clear to Lance that Keith’s feelings for Shiro were clearly returned. There was no way that Shiro didn’t love Keith. You didn’t react this way if someone wasn't extremely important to you. As much as it pained him to think, he knew that if Hunk, Pidge or Shiro, even Coran, died while he would mourn he wouldn’t mourn them as much as he mourned Allura. It was obvious now that Shiro’s feelings for Keith ran deeper than friendship.

“You’re right. I would do anything to get Allura back. I love her enough to fight to bring her back. But is that how you feel about Keith? How do you feel about him?”

Shiro stopped. He replayed Lance’s words in his head, “I...”

Lance sighed, “I think you need to figure that out first.”

With those words he left Shiro alone knowing there was no way he was going to talk him out of what he was doing. If there was anything he had learned in the time he had known Shiro, it was that he was stubborn and once he set his mind to something there was very little you could do to change it. He walked away hoping that whatever was about to happen didn't mean he lost another friend.

Shiro watched Lance leave and thought about his words. How did he feel about Keith? He missed him that was for sure. He was devastated by his death and wanted him back.

He thought back to his conversation with Matt. He recalled his words about how he’d just needed someone to tell him Keith would accept him as more than a brother or a friend. He realised that yes, he did want Keith that way. Ever since the news that there was a way to save him Shiro had thought about what he would do when Keith was in front of him. Each scenario he came up with always involved kissing Keith at some point. The idea of making up for lost time was always something he considered in every scenario he thought of.

He had previously convinced himself that Keith was nothing more than his friend, a brother. But you don’t think about kissing your brother. You don’t fantasise about your friend being in your arms and not liking the idea of letting them go. You don’t daydream about showing someone just how much you want them unless you feel something for them. You don’t imagine what it would be like to have them underneath you, on top of you, inside you or you inside them. None of those things are platonic thoughts.

He’d always thought that friendship was how he felt about Keith, even when those feelings had obviously grown. It seemed that Keith’s death had opened the doors to the daydreams he had always refused to acknowledge and the fantasies he had kept under lock and key as he had started having them while they were both Paladins. He hadn’t realised it but through the past few weeks he had thought about Keith in an exclusively romantic light. In fact he had probably been thinking about Keith that way for much longer. He thought back through their interactions over the years and realised this wasn’t a new development. It was something he had been doing for years and even after he had gotten married to another man. He was still embarrassed to admit that he had called out Keith’s name on more than one occasion in the bedroom. In fact it became such a frequent occurence that he and Curtis had stopped having sex after a handful of times. He’d also recalled calling out Keith’s name whenever he had a nightmare or had a PTSD episode.

He clutched his chest as he realised just how much Keith meant to him. And he’d let Keith walk away. He’d pushed him away. He couldn’t believe he had somehow managed to delude himself for so long. He couldn't believe how he had managed to convince himself that the feelings he had for Keith were anything other than romantic.

He looked down at his hand. There was still a tan line from where his ring used to be. He thought about his marriage for the first time in weeks. He hadn’t missed Curtis, in fact he hadn’t even thought about him once. Even during their marriage it had never bothered him when they were apart. He hadn’t missed him the way he missed Keith. He had never shed a tear at their wedding nor at their separation. He’d admit to himself that when Curtis had walked out the door announcing he was leaving, Shiro had felt relief.

That wasn’t normal. Even during their relationship he’d never felt that spark. Sure it had felt good but that had been on a physical level, not emotional and even that had only been at the beginning. In fact Shiro doubted he’d ever been invested emotionally. Why else hadn’t he fought for his marriage? He’d so easily let it go and moved on with his life. Why else was it so easy to fall back into the life he had before his marriage and acted as if it had never happened? Why was it Keith had taken over his thoughts yet he had not thought about Curtis once? 

Even thinking back to Curtis he didn’t think of him as a former romantic partner which surprised him. This had been the man he married and yet he wasn’t thinking of him that way. There was simply no emotion there. He would question why but deep down he knew the answer. He realised that during the time he'd been grieving for Keith he had also gotten a divorce. The papers finalising the divorce had arrived days ago and yet he didn't feel any grief or sadness over the end of his marriage. In fact he didn't feel anything. He briefly questioned whether this was overshadowed by his grief about Keith's death but he could admit to himself that that likely wasn't the answer.

He began to realise what a mistake he had made and now the one person he did want was gone.

What had he done?

Why had he done any of it?

What had he been thinking?

Tears fell from his eyes again and Shiro shook with emotion. Every time he thought he was done crying he found another reason to. He wanted to stop crying. He quickly felt overwhelmed and dropped to his knees. He felt like a horrible person. He had messed with two people’s lives and hurt them both. All because he didn’t have his head on straight. He wanted one but had gotten with another. Looking back he couldn’t think of justifiable reasons why he had made the decisions he had. The only thought that kept circling in his head was ‘ _I thought I was doing the right thing_.’ He knew now he hadn’t.

He didn’t know how long he cried but he felt exhausted. Too exhausted to move far. He moved to sit in one of the crew member’s chairs and closed his eyes. He would rest here and then go back to his apartment.

* * *

_Shiro opened his eyes and saw he was back in the ‘in-between’? He wasn’t entirely sure what to call it but it was the best way to describe it._

“ _Black Paladin, you’ve returned.”_

_The White Lion approached and looked down at the young man._

“ _You seem troubled.”_

_Shiro shook his head, “I’ve just realised how many mistakes I’ve made. I can’t believe how much I’ve messed up.”_

“ _Do not torture yourself, Black Paladin.”_

“ _How can I not? All this happened because of me.”_

“ _You have done good as well, Shiro.” A new voice said across the abyss. Shiro turned around in shock. He couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe who was stood in front of him._

“ _Allura.” He whispered as he looked at her._ _She looked the same as when he last saw her. She smiled at him and stepped forwards him._

“ _Hello Shiro.”_

_Shiro found himself standing on solid ground. He stepped towards her and wrapped his arms around her._

“ _I missed you. We all have.”_

_Allura laughed and wrapped her arms around Shiro, “I have missed you as well.”_

_They pulled away and smiled at each other._

“ _How are you here?”_

“ _This is where I came when I stopped Honerva but I can still reach out.” She smiled sadly as she explained,_ “ _I’m sorry Shiro.”_

“ _Sorry? What for? I should be apologising to you. We shouldn’t have let you fight on your own. You’d lost so much already. You shouldn’t have lost your life as well.”_

“ _Thank you. Your words mean a lot. But I wasn’t referring to that. I was referring to Keith’s death.”_

_Shiro’s smile fell from his face and he looked down at the ground. He didn’t know what to say. What could he say?_

“ _Keith would not want you to be sad.”_

“ _The White Lion said that there was a way to save him. How do we do that? Wait, is he here?” Shiro asked as he looked up from the ground._

_She smiled sadly but shook her head, “Keith has passed through this plane. He has passed on to the next. But he is well. At least as well as one can be in our circumstances.”_

_Shiro nodded. He couldn’t help the disappointment he felt hearing Allura’s words. He should have known he wouldn’t get to see him. But what would he have done? Dropped to his knees and begged for forgiveness? There was a part of him that knew that’s exactly what he would have done, after hugging Keith at least. Allura could see the disappointment in his eyes and reached forward to take his hand._

“ _Be reassured that he is alright. I know that you miss him. I know how much you have been hurting over his untimely death.”_

“ _You do?” Shiro asked surprised._

_Allura nodded, “Yes, I can see you all. I haven’t been watching all the time but I have been keeping an eye on you all. Just to see how you all are doing.”_

_Allura released his hand and he looked at her shocked. As much as it had been a comfort to think that Allura was watching over them, he wasn’t entirely sure how he felt about having it confirmed. He really hoped she hadn’t seen anything embarrassing._

“ _How can I save Keith?”_

_Shiro hoped to divert from any embarrassing conversations he was sure were on their way. Allura couldn’t help the smile on her face. She had known for a while how he felt about Keith and she was glad he had finally realised it himself, although saddened it had come at the event of Keith’s death._

“ _Keith wasn’t meant to die when he did. Then again, neither was I. The White Lion is displeased and wishes to change it.”_

_Shiro was confused, “You say this like there is some kind of cosmic plan in place.”_

_Allura laughed, “Not quite. But the cosmic entities that do exist do sometimes need help from certain individuals. It appears that Keith and I were two such individuals. And not just the two of us either but Lotor as well. You see, he was never supposed to die in the Quintessence field. He was also meant for more.”_

“ _I knew there was something special about Keith.”_

“ _Indeed. We all have our roles to play.”_

“ _What do I have to do?”_

“ _All you have to do is save him.” Allura said as if it was obvious._

“ _But how will I do that? How can I when he’s already dead?” Shiro asked._

“ _The White Lion and I can send you back in time. If you can get to Keith then you can save him.” She explained._

_Shiro nodded. He noticed that the White Lion had reduced in size and now stood beside Allura._

“ _Okay, I should be able to do that. But could I make one request?”_

_Allura and the White Lion both tilted their heads in question, “And what would that be, Black Paladin?” The White Lion asked._

_Shiro looked at them sheepishly, “Could you send me back further? It’s just that I retired and therefore have no way of getting off of planet Earth. If you want me to save Keith you’ll have to send me back to before Honerva is defeated because otherwise I don’t have the means of getting to him.”_

_He explained and hoped that they bought it. It wasn’t that he was lying, it was just that he wasn’t telling them the real reason. He wanted to go back to make things right with Keith. Maybe give them the chance they never got in this time. If this was going to be his one chance then he would take it._

_Allura couldn’t help but smile. She suspected he would ask for this and they had been prepared. It’s why they had waited for as long as they had. It also gave him the chance to save her as well._

“ _We can send you as far back as when you first became Captain of the ATLAS, would that suffice?” The White Lion asked._

_Shiro nodded, “So how does this work?”_

“ _We will use our powers to send you back. We still remain connected to the Lions. We can use their quintessence to aid us. Are you ready?” Allura asked._

“ _Now?”_

_Allura nodded, “Is there any reason why it shouldn’t be now?”_

_Shiro looked between the two and let out a shaky breath. He thought about his options. He could go through with the plan now and see Keith again or decide not to do it and go back to a world that no longer has Keith in it. He felt bad that he would be leaving with everyone with no notice but if he did this right then his future will never have existed._

_He took a deep breath and shook his head after a few moments of silence._

“ _No. We should do this now.”_

“ _As long as you’re certain.”_

_Shiro nodded, “I am.”_

_With that Allura’s marks and eyes lit up, the White Lion seemed to fade and become a part of Allura. She extended her hand towards Shiro and he was blinded by a white light._

_He hoped this worked._


	3. Chapter 3

Shiro woke up with a jolt and sat upright. He look around the room and noticed he was no longer on the bridge of the ATLAS.

Had it worked? He didn’t dare to think so. He put on his uniform and exited his room, knowing that he wouldn’t be getting any more sleep. Upon exiting he realised he was on the ATLAS. He hadn’t had quarters on the ATLAS since he was her Captain. His hopes began to rise as he made his way to the mess hall.

Upon entering he stopped at what he saw. He felt his jaw drop, he couldn’t believe it!

Keith.

Keith was sat at the table in front of him reading from a datapad as he took the occasional bite of food. Shiro couldn’t help but stare. It had been so long since he had seen Keith and he looked so much better than he remembered. He was gorgeous, in fact. The high cheekbones, slim face, beautiful blue-violet eyes, hair that curled at the base of his neck and the fringe that fell just right on his forehead. He was truly a sight to behold and Shiro couldn’t help but drink in the sight. He couldn’t believe that he had walked away from this. His heart skipped a beat at seeing Keith again.

Keith felt eyes on him and looked up. Seeing Shiro, he smiled.

“Hi Shiro.”

Shiro couldn’t believe it. It had worked. He was back. And Keith was alive which meant Allura would be alive as well, judging by Keith’s attire. He felt his heart hammering in his chest at the sight of Keith in his cadet uniform. He knew he was probably being creepy by simply staring but he just couldn’t believe his eyes. It had been more than a year since he had last seen Keith in his own time and that had been before he’d received news of his death. Having him in front of him now was like a dream come true. It didn't feel completely real.

“Shiro, are you okay?”

Shiro blinked and realised that Keith was right in front of him. When had he moved?

“Yeah, sorry about that. Zoned out for a moment.” He said as he scratched the back of his neck. The concerned look remained on Keith’s face but he said nothing else as he sat back down.

“I’ll be right back.” Shiro said as he headed over to the food.

Shiro went and got breakfast, using the time to berate himself. He couldn’t believe he comes back and the first thing he does is make Keith worry about him. Although thinking about it Keith had always worried about him. He had always been Keith’s main concern and first priority.

God, he really was an idiot. How had he not seen it before?

Well, now he had the opportunity to change things and he decided to start right now. He sat down in front of Keith and placed his tray in front of him. He studied Keith’s features for a few moments.

“Anything interesting?” He asked as he gestured to the datapad.

Keith shook his head, “Not really.”

Shiro smiled as the conversation continued and flowed easily between the two of them. He didn’t realise how much he missed this between them. He’d forgotten just how easy and comfortable it was to be with Keith, how the conversation flowed naturally and how he seemed to lose track of time when he was with Keith. He didn’t know whether this was new or if it had always been there, but he found that the rest of the world seemed to fade away. He became completely focused on Keith. 

He felt lighter than he had in a long time. Keith's presence really was like a balm to the turmoil he felt and he couldn't believe he had let him go. It felt like he couldn't stop smiling and he didn't want to, not when he knew the alternative. He was determined to do things right this time. 

Eventually their meal came to an end and they were needed in several meetings. It felt good to be part of the action again, even if it meant attending often dull and boring meetings.

After the few meetings he needed to attend, he resolved to try and strengthen his connection with the ATLAS. The White Lion had told him that the Altean crystal had given life to ATLAS and allowed it to transform. All because it had part of the White Lion’s essence in it. He wanted to see if that was true.

He walked onto the bridge and saw some of the crew already at work. He stepped up to the central console and looked down at the controls. It was an impressive ship. He still couldn’t believe it was his.

“Captain?” Veronica asked as she turned in her seat to face him, “Any plans for today?”

Shiro shook his head, “No continue as you were. I’m going to try something. You can continue your work.”

She nodded and turned back to her screen. He closed his eyes and focused. He reached out to the ATLAS. It felt like a presence in the back of his mind, much like the Black Lion had. He focused on it and pulled it forward, attempting to make it stronger. He focused on building that bond and making it manifest. He didn’t believe he would manage it first time but if he could make that bond stronger, he would be making a step in the right direction.

He focused on the ATLAS and felt it come to life. He opened his eyes and saw the lines of quintessence that showed the ATLAS was active. It was a beautiful white that filled the bridge.

“Black Paladin.”

The voice was no more than a whisper. He continued to reach out and the lights grew brighter. He looked around and noticed his own crew was looking around in awe. So they could see the lines too. Normally only he could see them. He couldn’t help the smile came to his face.

Suddenly the light seemed blinding. He covered his eyes and the light soon faded. He blinked to try and get rid of the spots in front of his eyes. When he did so, he noticed he was no longer on the ATLAS.

He looked around and it reminded him of the astral plane. It was similar to the area where he had seen Allura and the White Lion.

Shiro concentrated some more and felt a presence around him. He looked around and saw the White Lion in front of him.

“So you found me.”

Shiro nodded, “I had some help.”

The White Lion looked at him and hummed, “Indeed.”

Shiro looked at the entity in front of him, “Am I doing the right thing?”

The White Lion tilted its head, “That is for you to decide, Black Paladin. If you wish to change the events of your own life then you could do that. But there are certain things that will happen regardless of your input. Try not to change too much and do not let them know you are from a different time. It may cause more harm than good.”

“What do you mean?”

“Any disruption to time is always dangerous. It sends a ripple out across the fabric of time and space. We must ensure that ripple doesn’t become a tear. There are also certain events that happen across every universe and every reality. You must be careful.”

Things began to fade away.

“Wait! What events?!” Shiro called out.

He opened his eyes with a gasp as the lights in the ATLAS also faded. When had he closed his eyes? It seemed he was not going to get anything else out of ATLAS or the White Lion. He sighed and looked around. Everyone in the crew was staring at him.

“What was that?” Veronica asked.

“That was the quintessence that fuels this ship. Just had to communicate with the ATLAS about something.” Shiro explained.

“Communicate with the ship?” James asked confused.

Shiro nodded, “Yeah. The ATLAS has a sort of consciousness. She’s aware of everything that goes on on-board this ship. I can communicate with her because its my quintessence fuelling the transformations. It’s similar to how the Lions function as well.”

“The ship sees everything?” Veronica asked. Shiro smiled and looked at his crew. There was a nervousness that hadn’t been there before.

“Yeah but don’t worry. I’m not told anything if that’s what you’re worried about. Your secrets are safe with the ATLAS.” He said chuckling at the shocked expressions on his crew’s faces.

He heard something reminiscent of a giggle ring out in the back of his mind. It seemed almost childish. He realised it was the ATLAS. Despite the White Lion’s essence fuelling much of the ATLAS, it seemed she was forming her own consciousness and identity separate from the White Lion. He figured it was probably due to the combination of different kinds of quintessence.

Shiro couldn’t help but smile. It felt good to be back in the action. He hadn’t realised how much he had missed it, even by doing something as small as this. He just hoped he could actually change things.

He sat on his bed later that night and thought about the day. He couldn’t believe he was back. It felt like dream. He truly felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Keith was alive and he was back in active duty. He hadn’t realised just how much he had missed it. He’d even been more than happy to attend the meetings.

He silently thanked Allura and every cosmic entity for this chance.

Seeing Keith again had taken his breath away. He had desperately wanted to hold Keith and never let him go. He’d repressed the urge to kiss him. Th force of that urge had surprised him. It wasn’t that he had never thought of it before but it had never been that strong. Maybe it was because the loss was still fresh. But he knew he wanted to wrap Keith up in his arms and never let go.

But he also wanted to get on his knees and beg for forgiveness. He had a feeling that he had been sent back to a time before he had started to pull away and that if he did that it would come across as incredibly strange. That and he would most likely reveal the truth. He didn’t want to do that and wanted a fresh start. He wanted to do things right and make sure that he didn’t lose touch with Keith or his friends. He would hold onto them this time.

He just hoped he could succeed.


	4. Chapter 4

Over the next few weeks he worked to maintain his bond with Paladins, but particularly Keith. He wanted them to know that just because he was Captain of the ATLAS it didn’t mean he was no longer their friend. He wanted them to remember that they were a team. He hoped this could be one of the things he could change for the better. At least he hoped he could. The White Lion’s warning frequently replayed in his head.

But he was making an effort. He had made plans with the Paladins to have breakfast with them everyday to make sure they remained close. It also made it easier to update each other on anything that happened. They had also played a couple of games of Monsters and Mana together. It was a welcome change to what he had experienced in his own time. Before he’d pulled away from the Paladins and had felt incredibly isolated as a result. Looking back he could see the mistakes he had made and where he'd put a foot wrong. He was always told that hindsight was 20/20 and he was thankful to be getting this second chance.

He wasn’t just spending time with the Paladins as a group though. He was also spending time with them individually. He helped Pidge with her inventions, listened to Coran and Allura as they discussed differences between Altea and Earth, he played video games with Lance, got cooking lessons from Hunk and raced on the hover bikes with Keith. Despite how hectic their lives were Shiro found himself happier than he had been in a long time.

It felt good to spend time with his friends. Shiro also found that he was better at the work/life balance this time around. He spent his days working on dealing with the Galra, being back on Earth and being Captain of the ATLAS again. At night he spent most nights with the Paladins and when he wasn’t with them he was sorting out paperwork. Before he had spent all his time focused on the mission and immersed in paperwork. It had massively contributed to his loneliness and he was glad that he could change that.

One thing that puzzled him or should he say surprised him, was the fact that he’d had no reaction to seeing Curtis. It was one thing to feel little after a divorce but now he was back in time he expected to feel something, anything. He thought that maybe he would feel something residual from his younger self but there was nothing there. No desire, no spark, nothing. It was like looking at an old work colleague. Yet this had been the man he had married. For him, his divorce was still fresh yet there was nothing there. This was the man his younger self would have married if things turned out the same as in his timeline and yet he saw him everyday and didn’t even feel the basic rush of finding someone attractive. He hated to think it but Curtis seems so plain when compared to Keith. It wasn’t that Curtis was unattractive but it did nothing for him. He was beginning to wonder what exactly it had been that had attracted him in the first place. He certainly hadn’t missed the looks that Curtis had been sending his way. He wondered if his attraction had stemmed from loneliness. Especially as he had distanced himself from the Paladins in his own time and he had just wanted someone else around. So he had latched himself onto the first person willing to fill that space. Could that have been it? What had he seen in him?

He really wasn’t sure he wanted to find out.

It wasn’t that Curtis was a bad person or had even been a bad husband, but it was clear that they had never been right for each other. They hadn’t suited each other at all. It made him even more thankful that he had been given this second chance.

He was determined to make things right and sort himself out properly in the process, which is why he had already signed himself up for therapy. Something else he hadn’t done in his own time. Maybe this would help. He hoped it would. He needed it too. If he could sort through even a fraction of what he had been through then maybe he wouldn’t make the same mistakes he had last time.

He had also begun to realise that he had forgotten to ask some very important questions to the White Lion. What was going to happen to him once he had fixed things? Would his younger self simply wake up as himself again? Would he go back to his own time? Would he disappear? Would he feel it or be aware it was happening? What was happening to his younger self while he was in his body? Was he aware of what was going on or not?

So many questions he hadn’t thought to ask. He’d been so focused on getting the chance to see Keith again he hadn’t even thought to ask too many questions.

He put his worries to the back of his mind and focused on the present. He could worry about those bridges when he came to them.

* * *

The next day was a welcome relief from meetings and Shiro was unsure what to do with himself. Whereas before he had spent his spare time in the bridge of the ATLAS or doing paperwork, now he wasn’t sure what to do. He felt antsy and he wasn’t entirely sure why. Well, he did but he didn’t want to admit it. Ever since he came back he had wanted Keith to stay where he could see him. He felt a slight panic every time Keith disappeared or wasn’t in his sight. He didn’t want to be over-protective of Keith or clingy but there was a part of him that wanted to keep Keith by him at all times. He was still hurting from his death and just wanted to make sure Keith was alright. He wondered if Keith had felt like this after he had come back from the dead. If what he was feeling was anything like what Keith had gone through when he had disappeared he desperately wanted to apologise and make sure Keith knew just how important he was to him. It reminded him of just how strong Keith was. Shiro had only lost Keith once and he had fallen apart whereas Keith had lost him twice (three times if he counted his own future) and somehow managed to carry on. His admiration for Keith seemed to increase whenever he recalled everything they had been through.

The one thing he was thankful for was that Keith didn’t seem to mind his presence. In fact he seemed to gravitate to him and desire his presence just as much as Shiro desired his. Shiro smiled to himself as he thought of the teasing that they had incurred for that. He didn’t mind though. If it meant he got to spend time with Keith he was willing to put up with it.

Keith and the other Paladins were currently unavailable due to training and the rebels had left Earth on a supply run which left him alone to entertain himself. As he wandered the halls he eventually found himself in front of Black.

He stared up at the giant robotic Lion that had been his companion for months. He missed their connection. He knew that by drawing his essence out of the Lion it had broken their connection but he couldn’t help but wonder if that break was permanent. He hoped it wasn’t. Maybe he just needed to prove himself again.

He’d never tried or thought about it before the Lions had departed. But now he couldn’t help but wonder if he could reconnect with Black.

But that’s not all he thought about. He thought about all the fun he’d had in Black, the Castle of Lions, their time in space and Keith’s evolution into the young man he was so proud of and how all the Paladins had grown in the time he had known them.

He was so deep in his thoughts he didn’t notice the door behind him open.

“Shiro?”

The man in question jumped slightly and Keith couldn’t help the smile that stretched across his lips at that.

“Hi Keith.”

“You alright?”

“Yeah. Just waiting for my heart to slow down.” Shiro teased as he looked at Keith.

The smile stayed on Keith’s face, “Alright old timer. I’ll go easier on you next time.”

Shiro laughed, “It’s been a long time since you called me that.”

“At least you look the part now.”

“Hey! I was trying to have a moment.”

The pair shared a laugh and smiled at each other. It felt good to have their old banter back. Neither had realised how much they had missed it.

“So what are you doing with Black anyway?” Keith questioned as he looked up at Black and then back to Shiro.

Shiro sighed, “Just, I don’t know, reminiscing. I was thinking about all we’ve been through and all we have yet to do.”

“About anything in particular?”

Shiro could hear the concern in Keith’s voice, “Yes and no. But that doesn’t really answer the question, does it?”

“No, I get it. I do that sometimes too.” Keith answered, “Do you miss her?”

Shiro shrugged, “Sometimes. I do wonder whether or not I could reform the bond with her but I’m not sure whether I want that or not. Especially now that I captain the ATLAS. I question if there is a need for it, she has a perfectly capable pilot now.”

Shiro couldn’t really tell but he thought he saw a faint blush on Keith’s face at his words. A thrill ran down his spine at the thought.

“I’m sorry.”

Both are surprised by the words that came out of Shiro’s mouth. His eyes had fallen on Keith’s scar and the words had left his mouth before he’d really thought about it.

“Sorry? What for?” Keith asked as he crossed his arms over his chest.

Shiro turned to face Keith and cupped his hand over Keith’s scarred cheek.

“For this.” He said as his thumb rubbed over the surface.

Keith tilted his head into Shiro’s hand. Shiro moved to pull away, feeling guilty for touching Keith but especially for hurting him and permanently scarring him. He couldn't believe that Keith carried a permanent reminder of his devotion to him, of how far he was willing to go for him and he had let him walk away in his own time. He was once again reminded of how foolish he had been. Keith raised his own hand and placed it over Shiro’s preventing him from pulling away.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. I would do it again in a heartbeat. One scar is worth getting you back.”

Shiro’s breath hitched at Keith’s words. He had known he was important to Keith but hearing the words from the man himself was something else. His gaze softened.

“Keith, I’m not sure I’m worth it.”

“You are. You are worth it to me.”

“Keith.”

Shiro’s eyes gained a glassy look as Keith stepped forward. He still held Shiro’s palm to his cheek.

“Don’t ever think you’re not worth it Shiro. I promised you as many time as it takes. I intend to keep my promise.” Keith said with such conviction Shiro couldn’t help but believe him even if he didn’t feel worthy of such devotion. He had no idea what he had ever done to deserve it and he figured he never would.

The air between them began to feel heavy with tension and both were feeling it. Shiro found himself looking from Keith’s eyes to his lips. Every time he tried to look into his eyes his gaze fell back onto his lips. He could see the question forming in Keith’s head.

“Forgive me.” He said before leaning down. All Keith could do was look at him confused for a brief second before Shiro pressed his lips to his own. Keith didn’t get the chance to respond before Shiro pulled away. Shiro looked down at the floor and tried to pull away.

“Do it again.” Keith’s words stopped him. He looked at Keith in surprise. 

“What?”

Keith stepped closer to Shiro. He let go of the hand on his cheek and grabbed a hold of Shiro’s jacket with both hands.

“Do it again.” He said more forcefully.

Shiro looked down and moved his hand from Keith’s cheek to behind his head and tangled it in his hair. His prosthetic moved and held Keith around the waist. Just holding Keith in his arms was an experience that Shiro didn’t want to give up. He looked into Keith’s eyes and seeing no uncertainty he leaned down again. His lips touched Keith’s. This time Keith responded and pressed back. It was a chaste kiss, no more than simply pressing their lips together but it was enough.

They pulled away and simply stared at each other. Neither could believe what they had just done but they were more than happy to do it again. Keith leaned forward and captured Shiro’s lips for a third time. He moved his hands from Shiro’s jacket to around his neck. Now he had a taste of what kissing Shiro was like he never wanted to give it up. Neither did Shiro.

They pulled back and looked at the other. Shiro couldn’t believe they had just done that. He didn’t want to stop. Why had they never done this before?

They simply looked at each other with their arms wrapped around the other. Their eyes kept falling to the other’s lips. They went to lean in again when a buzzing sounded causing them to separate. Shiro pulled out the small datapad that he always carried with him from his pocket. Keith let him go and took a couple of steps back but remained close.

A reminder for another meeting flashed across the screen. He sighed and turned back to Keith.

“Have to go?” Keith asked as he crossed his arms.

Shiro shrugged, “I’m due in another meeting. But we’ll talk later, yeah? I’ll meet you at dinner.”

Keith nodded, “Yeah, I’ll see you later.”

Shiro turned to leave and then back to Keith. He decided not to second-guess himself and leaned down and gave Keith a peck on the lips, “See you later.”

He walked away and headed to the meeting. Keith stood completely still as he replayed what had just happened. He’d kissed Shiro. Shiro had kissed him. They had kissed each other. Not just once but four times. He didn’t resist the smile that came to his face as he put his fingers to his lips. He could still feel Shiro’s against his own. He wondered when he would be able to do that again.

He was looking forward to dinner. He felt a rumbling in the back of his mind and realised he was still stood in front of Black. He turned and looked up at her. It was only then he remembered where they were and that Black had watched the whole thing.

“Mind your own business.” He said with no malice in his voice. His datapad then buzzed as well, informing him he was needed in a meeting.

Shiro spent the meeting distracted. He couldn’t believe he had done that. He had kissed Keith!

He hadn’t meant to and kicked himself for giving into temptation. He had wanted to do things right. He had meant to maintain their bond and make sure they didn’t distance from one another. Then he could see if it went anywhere. He didn’t want his grief to shape any relationship he had with Keith but at the same time he found he didn’t care.

He felt like he was on cloud nine. He felt lighter than he had in a long time but he also knew he had to take this seriously. If there was one thing he was bad at, it was relationships. His track record proved that. Failed relationships and a failed marriage showed him jut how bad he was at them. And he didn’t want to mess things up with Keith. He couldn’t! He had done so once and would never forgive himself. He couldn’t do it again.

He had to do this right! Even if it was happening earlier than he thought it would.

Shiro later found himself with a bit of time before dinner and decided if he was going to be serious about Keith then he was going to do something nice. He got a few bits together and asked Hunk for help with the food. He hoped he wasn’t obvious but by his blush and Hunk’s knowing look he had failed to be inconspicuous about his intentions.

He sent a message to Keith to meet him in the hangar as they were going to have dinner away from the Garrison so they could talk privately. It was only after he sent the message that he realised he had just asked Keith out on a date. And he’d said yes.

He changed out of his uniform into civilian gear and waited for Keith. He felt nervous and realised it was the first time in a long time he felt nervous about the prospect of a date. He didn’t want to mess this up. He would never forgive himself if he messed things up with Keith.

But it also made him think about his past relationships in more detail. He’d acted in a similar way when he and Adam had first started dating. He smiled at the memories. Thinking about Adam no longer hurt but it was bittersweet. He wished Adam had gotten the chance to live his life. He was thankful that he was working through the survivors guilt with his therapist. It was hard but the benefits were worth the hard work. His thoughts turned to Curtis and once again he found he felt nothing. He was surprised to find that he recalled no nerves or giddiness when he recalled when they first started dating. He never worried about messing things up with Curtis. Their dates had just happened. Recalling them gave him the same feelings as recalling his time hanging out with friends did. With both Adam and Keith he desperately wanted to provide the best for them. There had been an excitement which hadn’t been present with Curtis. Not for the first time he wondered what had attracted him to the man in the first place. Just how much had he ignored or settled for?

It wasn’t long before Keith found him and brought him out of his musings.

“You got permission to take these out?” Keith asked as he picked up his pace towards Shiro. His attention momentarily taken by the hover bikes that Shiro had been leaning against.

Shiro felt his heart stutter at the sight. He’d forgotten how good Keith looked in civilian clothes. They’d been in uniform or armour for so long he’d forgotten what it felt like to wear civilian clothes. He had to say he was definitely fond of Keith wearing civilian clothes. Tight black t-shirt, tight black jeans, his old red and white boots with a leather jacket. Shiro swallowed before his thoughts went too far and turned back to Keith.

“Would it matter if I did? Want to take them for a spin?” Shiro asked, suddenly feeling nervous. Hopefully this didn’t blow up in his face.

Keith turned to Shiro and smiled. He stepped towards him and gave him a peck on the lips and pulled away with a blush on his cheeks. He wasn’t used to this. Shiro smiled and made his way over to his own hover bike, his cheeks just as red. Keith climbed onto his.

“You think you can keep up?” Keith teased before racing out of the hangar.

And the two took off towards the desert. They raced each other and followed the route they had before the events of Kerberos.

Eventually they reached the cliff they had visited many times before, the same spot where they had watched sunsets together. Shiro still felt nervous as they parked and he removed the bag he had brought.

Keith eyed Shiro as he followed Shiro a short distance from the bikes. He watched curiously as Shiro pulled a blanket out of the bag and put it on the ground. The blanket was followed by containers of food. He stared dumbly as it dawned on him what was happening.

“Is this a date?” He asked, his eyes widening as he watched the scene play out as one he had seen in the few films he had watched as a kid.

Shiro stopped what he was doing and looked up. He looked at the scene and looked back at Keith.

“Um, well, it can be. I mean if you want, but I thought, I just, um.” Shiro didn’t know what to say. His nerves were skyrocketing as he waited for Keith to say something.

Keith stood there for a few moments in silence. Shiro was beginning to panic as he looked at what he’d done. Had he been misreading things?

Keith stepped forward and knelt down besides Shiro.

“Sure, why not?” He said before pressing his lips to Shiro’s.

Shiro felt his nerves decrease, only to moments later pick back up. He was officially on a date. He was on a date with Keith. He really didn’t want to mess this up. He couldn’t. The idea of doing something that led them to the future he had lived made his stomach twist horribly. Now that he knew what it was to kiss Keith and to hold him, he didn’t want to let go. He was determined to do this right.

Keith sat down and grabbed one of the containers. He opened it and smiled. It contained one of Hunk’s recipes. He looked at the other containers and realised that they probably all contained food prepared by Hunk.

“Is this all by Hunk?” Keith asked as he picked up a piece of food and handed the container over to Shiro.

Shiro blushed, “Yeah. When he heard I was gathering food he booted me out of the kitchen and gave me some stuff he’d been making for something else. Not sure what else he’ll be doing. I think it gave him the excuse to try some different recipes he’d been wanting to try.”

Keith laughed and nodded, “Sounds like Hunk.”

The two eat peacefully. They didn’t talk much and soon finished the food. It felt good to just spend some time together without the pressure of war pressing down on their shoulders. For once they were just two young men on a date. For now there was no war or life threatening situations, just them, a blanket and containers of food in front of a familiar and impressive view.

Both looked towards the horizon as the sun began to set. Shiro felt Keith’s hand next to his own and shifted his to cover it. Keith turned his hand over and slotted his fingers between Shiro’s.

Holding hands and watching the sunset, Shiro thought he had never experienced anything so romantic as he looked at Keith. Seeing him bathed in the light of the setting sun made him seem even more beautiful than normal. He seemed almost ethereal. Shiro couldn’t take his eyes off of him.

Keith soon noticed and turned towards him, “What? Do I have something on my face?”

Shiro shook his head. He smiled and leaned forward. He kissed Keith. This time he made the kiss a little deeper. Keith kissed back but remained hesitant as he wasn’t entirely sure what he was doing. A chaste kiss was easy. It was simply pressing their lips together. Anything more was a mystery but no matter how nervous he felt he enjoyed kissing Shiro and was definitely willing to learn.

Shiro pulled back, “Thank you.”

“What for?”

“For everything. For this, for saving me, for not hating me after everything that happened at the cloning facility.” He looked down and stared at their joined hands. He felt no small amount of shame for having hurt Keith.

“Shiro, you don’t need to thank me for any of that. I told you before you are worth all of that. I would do it all again if I had to.”

‘I’m not sure I understand why.’ He thought as he gripped Keith’s hand.

“Shiro I told you at the clone facility, I love you.”

Keith’s words made Shiro look up. He hadn’t realised that he had said those words out loud but Shiro didn’t get a chance to say anything as Keith continued.

“Shiro, you’ve done more for me that anyone else. You gave me a chance when no-one else would. You stood beside me when everyone else turned away or thought I was too much hassle. You never gave up on me. I’m where I am today because of you. So you’re important to me. I could never repay all that you’ve done for me, but I want to try.”

His speech brought tears to Shiro’s eyes. He recalled the words that Keith had said to him at the cloning facility. He brought Keith’s hand up and kissed the back of it.

“You don’t need to repay me for that. Besides I think you’ve more than made up for it. What with saving my butt on more than one occasion. You really have nothing to repay. And you’re important to me too.” Shiro leaned over and kissed Keith, “I love you too.”

They fell into silence and watched as the stars appeared in the night sky as the completely dipped below the horizon. They simply enjoyed the time together as they turned their attention to the night sky where they tried to pick out constellations.

“We should probably head back.” Shiro said some time later as he got up and dusted off his trousers. Keith followed suit and the two began to pack up. Shiro loaded the hover bike and the two raced back to the Garrison.

Once there they parked the hover bikes and parted ways, but not before one last kiss.

Shiro took the containers back to the kitchen and washed them up before returning to his room. Keith had headed straight to his room.

Neither could believe that they had just been on their first date. It had been a resounding success and neither could keep the smiles from their faces.

Over the next few days it became obvious to everyone that Shiro and Keith were together. While they didn’t say anything, it was the way they acted that tipped people off.

Now that he and Keith were officially together, Shiro couldn’t seem to keep his hands off of him. He was almost always touching Keith in some way. Whether it was holding hands, a hand around his waist or putting his hand on Keith’s shoulder. All he knew was that he didn’t want to stop. But it made him wonder why he hadn’t had the conversation with Keith in his own time. The conversation had run surprisingly smoothly and had been over much quicker than Shiro had thought it would. He was surprised how easy it had been and now he had Keith as his boyfriend. It sent a thrill up his spine every time he thought of that.

Having had the conversation now, he would never understand why he'd put it off. He recalled feeling guilty and ashamed of having hurt Keith, which he still felt, but he was struggling to figure out his former reluctance. Maybe it had gotten easier to not talk about it the more time that passed. Even now he didn’t feel like he deserved Keith but there was no way he was going to deny Keith anything. There was more he wanted to say, more he knew should be said but he was content with what they had talked about. For the moment at least.

He was really beginning to wonder just what had been going through his mind in his own time.


	5. Chapter 5

Shiro fell into the routine of ship maintenance, strategy meetings and dates with Keith. But the Galra still had to be dealt with.

The entire fight with Sendak was a blur to Shiro. He hated Sendak. Hated what he represented and what he had done. Not only to him but also to Earth and other planets in the universe that he had subjugated. He had to be stopped and this was their only chance.

Shiro also felt like this was a chance for him to fight his literal and figurative demons. If he could defeat Sendak then he felt he could have hope they could do this, that he could do this. Plus it would help put his mind at ease, at least a little.

Or that’s what he had thought.

He lay on the ground after a lengthy fight with Sendak. He was exhausted and knew Sendak would be on him any moment. He looked towards his enemy when Black appeared out of nowhere. He was so surprised at the appearance that he missed Keith’s descent and subsequent killing of Sendak. He was shocked to see Keith in front of him and Sendak fall to the ground.

He barely remembered this fight from his own time and he wasn’t sure how to feel about experiencing it again. It seemed he had blocked out a lot from the war and he wasn’t sure how to feel about it. But he did smile at the fact that Keith was once again his Paladin in shining armour and had saved him. He wondered just how many times Keith would be required to save him. 

“Thank you.” He said as Keith helped him sit up. They kept their gazes locked on each other until a shadow fell over them. They both looked up and saw the Lions.

Keith helped Shiro up and got him to Black. He dropped him off at the ATLAS and went back into battle as a robeast had appeared. Shiro got to the bridge and took control of the ATLAS. The battle continued until he heard a collective gasp from his crew. He looked out of the window and stood in shock as coloured streaks plummeted towards the ground. He knew it was the Paladins. His heart stopped and he felt the panic rising. All he could think was ‘get to Keith’ and ‘please let him be okay’. He didn’t realise that the ATLAS had actually started moving until one of his crew asked him where they were going.

He looked around, “Get med teams to each of the Paladins. We’ll get to Keith and help in any way we can.”

The crew nodded and the med teams were sent out. Shiro hated how long it seemed to take before he could move the ATLAS again. Once he got the signal he moved the ATLAS as fast as he could. Upon reaching Black he raced out of the bridge and onto the ground. He was glad no-one attempted to stop him, not that anyone would. He just wanted to get to Keith as fast as he could. He remembered seeing Keith on the hospital bed and it propelled him to move even faster.

He reached the Black Lion and saw her on her side with her eyes dimmed. He rested his hand against her jaw and she didn’t move.

“Please, please let me get to him. I know he needs help. I want to get him that help. Please Black, open up for me.” He begged and he rested his forehead against her jaw. He could hear others closing in on him as the med team raced towards them. Slowly the Black Lion seemed to come back to life and slightly opened her jaw.

“Thank you.”

He entered the Black Lion for the first time since returning and felt a wave of nostalgia. He missed being here. He missed being her pilot. But what he’d told Keith was true, she had a more than capable pilot and he was needed on the ATLAS. As much as he would have liked to continue being her Paladin he enjoyed his work on the ATLAS.

He finally reached the cockpit and his heart stopped at what he saw.

Keith lay limply in the pilot’s seat.

Shiro rushed over and felt his neck. He breathed a sigh of relief when he felt a pulse. Keith’s helmet was cracked and his head lulled to one side. He could see flecks of blood and felt sick. He hated that Keith was injured but knew that he needed help and soon. He gently manoeuvred Keith and got him out of Black.

He couldn’t believe that Keith felt so light. He didn’t like that Keith laid unresponsive in his arms. It reminded him too much of the future he had left behind. He wanted to say that he didn’t know what he would do without Keith but he had unfortunately lived it, and he knew what he would do.

He would fall apart.

He had lived through it once, he didn’t want to live through it again. Although he had been through it once before it didn’t make his current panic any less. He didn’t want to go through that again. He couldn’t.

He quickly handed Keith to the med team and stood to the side unable to take his eyes off of Keith’s form until it was out of his sight.

He barely remembered the recovery of the other Paladins as his mind was filled with thoughts of Keith. He knew he should focus on the recovery efforts and clean up after the battle with Sendak as they needed him but his mind was elsewhere. He shook his head and concentrated on the task at hand. He could visit Keith later. He was in the best place at the moment, all of the Paladins were.

* * *

Later when he had a free moment he made his way to the hospital. He was thankful that no one had questioned him when he said he was coming to the hospital. In fact he thought he saw relief in many of the faces he was working with. He may or may not have been a bit distracted during the clean up. Worry for both Keith and his friends wasn't easy to ignore.

He’d always disliked the sterile environment of hospitals as he had spent so much time there as a child after he’d been diagnosed.

His illness was something he hadn’t thought of in a long time. He wondered if this body still had it. He made a mental note to book an appointment to get himself checked out as he made his way through the hospital. Could that have been another reason why he pulled away? But if he had been told he still had the disease surely he would remember that. But he knew he needed to know for sure if he still had it.

He checked on the other Paladins first and made sure they were alright. None of them had woken up yet but the doctors had positive prognoses for them all. If this was anything like his own time then they would be fine very soon.

He finally made his way to Keith’s room and paused at the doorway. He lay still in a bed and it made him look so small. The bandage around his head was wrapped tightly to stop the bleeding. He felt sick looking at Keith so lifeless. Is this how he had looked when he had been pulled from the debris of the landslide? He was glad that he hadn’t seen it. He didn’t know what he would have done had he seen Keith’s broken body. It was a comfort to know Keith was on the road to recovery but he knew that the image of him in the coma would haunt him for a while. Even though watching Keith's chest rise and fall was a welcome relief and eased some of the tension he was feeling.

He stepped into the room as he felt his throat tighten. He swallowed down the tears as he picked up Keith’s hand. He felt his wrist for a pulse and let go of the breath he didn’t know he had been holding when he felt it. He kept hold of Keith’s hand and brought it to his lips. He sat down on the hospital chair and watched Keith’s chest rise and fall with every breath. If Shiro hadn’t seen the Lions fall he would have thought Keith was just sleeping. 

“I’m here Keith.” He whispered as he squeezed Keith’s fingers.

Shiro stayed by Keith’s side and talked to him. He talked about anything and everything. Eventually he ran out of things to talk about and sat silently. Not once did he let go of Keith’s hand. He thought back to his own time and what he had done. He had focused on the cleaning up. He’d headed the ATLAS as the Garrison moved to clear the damage from the latest attack. He hadn’t visited Keith in the hospital.

He felt horrible at the thought of Keith lying in this bed, all alone as his mother and Kolivan were still on their way. How long had Keith been alone, waiting for someone to come and visit him?

Tears welled up in Shiro’s eyes and he let them fall. He rested his head on the bed beside Keith’s hand and repeated the mantra of ‘I’m sorry’. He cried for the mistakes he had made in his own time and for the near-miss that Keith had experienced. It made him even more determined to show Keith just how important he was to him. He never wanted Keith to doubt just how much he meant to him.

Eventually Iverson appeared with Krolia and Kolivan behind him. He saw the stricken look on Krolia’s face and almost apologised. The two Galra shook their heads and Krolia made her way over to Keith and began to stroke his hair. Kolivan remained by the window but Shiro could see that he was relieved to see Keith was alive with his own eyes.

Neither missed that Shiro still hadn’t let go of Keith’s hand.

Krolia had long suspected that her son had romantic feelings for the Black Paladin. If Shiro’s presence and current position were anything to go by, she suspected that they had something to tell her. She smiled knowing that her son was happy.

She looked at Shiro and noticed that his eyes held a sadness that hadn’t been present when she’d met him before. Not when she was faced with his clone or his subsequent resurrection. While her son’s plight was a fearful one she saw no reason for the level of sorrow in his eyes. But that wasn’t for her to question. Her main concern was her son. She had been informed of his condition and was determined to be there for him when she couldn’t in the past.

Shiro watched as Krolia fussed over Keith. He felt like he was intruding and stood up. The two Galra looked up at him.

“I’m going to go see how the others are doing. Give you some alone time with Keith.”

Krolia followed him to the door, “Thank you Shiro. I know how important you are to my son. I’m glad you could be with him.”

Shiro nodded and exited the room. He suddenly felt overwhelmed. The guilt of not visiting Keith in his own time felt like a punch to the gut. He left the hospital and went to his room.

There he let the tears fall. All the pent up guilt came out of him in the form of tears. The thought that he could have lost Keith, that he would once again experience the pain of losing him was too much to bear and he did something he hadn’t done since going back in time, he cried himself to sleep.

In the morning Shiro felt better. It was a relief to know that he hadn’t lost Keith but that he was recovering in the hospital. It didn’t stop him from worrying about when Keith would wake up. He wondered if changing events meant that certain things he remembered happening would occur differently.

He went to his office and collected some paperwork. He knew he wouldn’t get a lot done with Keith laying in a hospital bed so he headed to the hospital with the pile. He sat in the uncomfortable hospital chair beside Keith’s bed and greeted Krolia and Kolivan. He set the paperwork down and looked at Keith, taking his hand.

“How is he?”

“No change. The doctor’s assure me this is a good thing. They rather there be no change than he get worse.” Krolia answered as she stroked her son’s hair.

Shiro nodded. He understood the sentiment. He, like everyone else, wanted Keith to wake up. He leaned forward and brought Keith’s hand to his lips. He felt better thinking this let Keith know he was here even if he didn’t talk. He let go and picked up some of the paperwork and began to do some work.

He felt eyes on him and looked up to see Krolia and Kolivan looking at him.

“It seems you and Keith have gotten closer since I last saw you.” Krolia said with a smirk on her face. Both looked at him knowingly.

He felt his face heat up as he realised what it was he had done in front of them.

“Umm, well, you see…” He sighed, “Y-Yeah we have.”

He stared down at the paperwork not wanting to meet their eyes. It wasn’t that he was ashamed of his relationship with Keith but he was in front of two of the most important people in Keith’s life. He wanted them to be okay with it. Although something told Keith wouldn’t pay it any mind if they did disapprove. Not that Shiro thought they would but he could never be too sure.

He remembered when he met Adam’s parents. Although they were fine with their son’s sexuality and their relationship, he had always felt a bit uneasy. Almost like they were waiting for him to mess up, like he somehow wasn't good enough for their son. Adam had laughed it off when he said it and said that his parents were like that with everyone. It wasn’t a judgement on him, more his parent’s stoic natures. It hadn’t made him feel better. But it had made him wonder how two such emotionless people had produced such a jovial son.

A laugh brought him out of his musings and he looked up at Krolia. She had a smile on her face.

“I’m glad he could find some happiness during the war. All I ask is that you take care of his heart. He might have built a wall around it but behind that it is fragile. Please treat it with care.”

Shiro gaped at her. He nodded dumbly not sure what to say. He cleared his throat after a few moments of silence, deciding he needed to answer her properly.

“Of course. Keith is the most important person in my life. I’ll do everything I can to make him happy.”

Krolia nodded, happy with his answer. Shiro wasn’t surprised at how much he meant those words.


	6. Chapter 6

The next few days passed much the same. Shiro would take paperwork into Keith’s hospital room and do it there. Krolia and Kolivan remained by Keith’s side. Even Kosmo stayed by Keith’s side, not that anyone wanted him to leave or could get him to leave, especially with his teleportation ability. He also provided a comfort to Shiro as he would sometimes run his fingers through his fur.

Shiro didn’t want to leave Keith’s side. He wanted to be there when Keith woke up. He also couldn’t stop thinking about his actions in his own time. He thought about how he had avoided Keith’s room because it hurt to see him injured, how he had stayed away thinking up increasingly weak excuses not to visit. All because he was scared. He still felt that fear. But it was alleviated a bit but seeing Keith breathing in front of him. He felt calmer than he thought he would. He couldn’t believe he had been such a coward in his own time.

It was also bittersweet to watch the other Paladins recover. One by one they woke up and were on the road to recovery. It seemed only Keith had yet to wake up. It left an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach, no matter how happy he was to see his friends recover.

Before he knew it, a week had passed and it was time to deliver the memorial speech. He hated to leave Keith’s side but he had to. He knew Keith was in good hands and he knew he needed to give this speech. Everyone needed the speech for a boost of morale.

He kissed Keith and made his way to the stage. He was nervous but steeled himself. He stepped onto the podium and began to speak.

* * *

Meanwhile at the hospital Krolia and Kolivan watched the speech, having chosen to remain by Keith’s bedside. A groan from the bed drew their attention and they waited with bated breaths. It took several minutes but eventually Keith opened his eyes. He squinted and closed his eyes again. He slowly opened them for a second time and slowly took in the room around him.

His eyes were drawn in the direction of Shiro’s voice and he noticed the TV in the corner of the room. His eyes never left the screen but he did notice that he wasn’t alone. He could barely make out the words Shiro was saying but he guessed it was some kind of memorial judging by what surrounded Shiro on the stage.

He slowly grew more aware of his surroundings. He realised he was in the hospital. His eyes momentarily flicked over to his mum and Kolivan before returning to the TV. He was glad they were here. Seeing familiar faces made him feel more at ease at waking up in a strange place. But he couldn’t help but be a bit disappointed that the one person he really wanted there, was giving a speech.

Krolia stepped up next to him and followed his eye line. She smiled at the fact that the first thing he did was check for Shiro. The more she had learned about her son, the more she understood how important Shiro was to him and how devoted Keith was to him.

They remained in silence until the speech ended and Shiro was no longer shown on camera.

“How are you feeling?” Krolia asked softly.

Keith groaned. His voice hoarse and throat rough after days of inactivity. Krolia kissed him on the forehead and lifted a cup of water towards him. She put a straw in it and gently held it in front of him for him to take a sip. It helped the soreness but he felt tired and quickly fell asleep again.

Krolia stroked his hair and put down the cup. It felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders to see him awake. Even if it had only been for a few minutes. Kolivan stood up and put a hand on her shoulder. They shared a smile, both feeling the relief of seeing him awake. Krolia raised her hand and placed it over his. She squeezed it as she let out a sigh of relief. Even Kolivan seems to have relaxed as well.

“I’ll inform the doctors that Keith woke up.” Kolivan said before leaving the room.

Krolia rested on the side of Keith’s bed and looked at her son. He had grown so much in those two years they had spent together. He had grown into a fine young man. Someone she was incredibly proud of. His father had done a good job of raising him. Her heart still ached over the years that she missed but they had so many years in front of them now. She was glad he had managed to find friends, purpose, and love. Everything that she had hoped for him. Although she did feel saddened that his father would never get to see it.

Her reminiscing was interrupted by the doctor and nurses coming in to check on Keith.

* * *

Back at the ceremony it was several hours before Shiro was able to get away and head back to the hospital. He hadn’t wanted to seem rude and leave early so he stayed there. He wanted spend a couple of hours there and then make his way back to Keith. Unfortunately it seemed every person there wanted to talk to him. Not wanting to be rude he exchanged a few words with everyone who wanted to talk to him.

By the time he made it back to the hospital the sun was setting.

Shiro stopped in the doorway and straightened his jacket. Even if Keith still wasn’t awake, he wanted to be presentable for his boyfriend. He smiled. It still sent a thrill through his body at the thought of calling Keith his boyfriend.

He looked up and couldn’t believe what he saw. Keith sat up. Which meant Keith was awake.

The light from the setting sun filtered through the window and illuminated Keith. It made him looked ethereal, otherworldly. He supposed in a way he was, being part Galra. In that moment Shiro couldn’t believe that this incredible man had chosen him. Moments like this made him fall for Keith all the more.

But something seemed off with the picture. Keith was alone. He didn’t know where Krolia and Kolivan were but he figured they couldn’t be far. He noticed that Keith had a far away look on his face. He sat alone on a hospital bed, in an empty hospital room with not even Kosmo for company. Shiro was struck by how lonely he looked.

Is this what Keith had looked like in his own time? Is this how Keith was as he recovered after visiting hours had ended? Had he been waiting for him? He thought of the other Paladins and how they all had someone with them and yet Keith didn’t. Particularly in the time that Krolia and Kolivan hadn’t been there. Had Keith really been alone all that time? He felt like something was gripping his heart tightly as he thought about what Keith has experienced in his own time.

Another reminder of mistakes he had made. How could he have done that to Keith? Again he thanked the White Lion and Allura for giving him the chance to change things.

Keith spotted him and smiled. Shiro felt his breath catch in his throat. Keith’s smile was beautiful and it was directed at him. He made his way over and stopped next to the bed. He smiled back at Keith before leaning down and hugging Keith. It was awkward but Shiro wanted to feel Keith against him, to know for himself that Keith was okay. He let go of a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding as he felt Keith’s arms wrapped around his neck.

He pulled back slightly and pressed his lips to Keith’s. He felt Keith press back and felt a weight leave his shoulders. He pulled away and looked at Keith and smiled again.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

His back ached uncomfortably and he winced before rising to stand upright. Keith chuckled.

“You alright there, old timer?”

Shiro laughed as well, “Yeah. Not as young as I used to be.”

“You’re 25.”

“The point still stands.”

The two laughed. Keith reached out and Shiro grabbed hold of his hand.

“Get on.”

Keith’s words surprised Shiro.

“What?”

Keith tugged on Shiro’s hand and motioned on the bed next to him, “Get on. You look exhausted.”

Shiro sighed. He couldn’t deny Keith much and he certainly wasn’t about to deny him this. He wouldn’t admit it to Keith but he had, had trouble sleeping over the past week. Nightmares of finding Keith too late and losing him again had plagued his nights. He also had nightmares about Keith finding out about the fact he was from the future and leaving him after finding out what had happened between them. Other nightmares included finding Keith after a landslide and his worst fears being repeated back to him before he lost Keith again. It had led to many nights of wondering the halls of the hospital and sitting by Keith’s bedside to ease his fears.

He let go of Keith’s hand and walked around to the other side of the bed. He removed his jacket and boots before turning back to the bed. He saw the Keith had pulled back the covers. He stepped towards the bed and then climbed in.

He laid on his side and looked at Keith, “I’m not sure this is the best idea.”

Keith looked at him with a raised eyebrow. Shiro sighed and rested his arm across Keith’s abdomen. It hit him then that this would be the first time he and Keith were sharing a bed. Keith sensed his distress and put his hand on top of Shiro’s. It calmed him and he leaned forward and rested his head on Keith’s shoulder. Shiro could feel his body relaxing. Knowing that Keith was okay and still wanted him chased away his nightmares, at least for the moment. A weight completely lifted off of his shoulders as he accepted that Keith was going to be okay.

Before he knew it he had fallen asleep.

He woke up the next morning and found them to be in the same position they had fallen asleep in. Keith was still asleep but it gave him the opportunity to study his features. The high cheekbones, flawless skin, ink black hair. He imagined the blue-violet eyes hidden behind his eyelids. Keith really was beauty personified. He was the most gorgeous man he’d ever met. It seemed almost poetic that he was part alien with his otherworldly beauty. He couldn’t believe that he had turned away from this man in his own time.

He also couldn’t believe that they had been dating for over a month. It truly felt like the best month of his life. He had never felt happier. Every interaction with Keith felt both familiar and like he was doing it for the first time. It was a strange sensation but he liked the feeling. He knew he was in the honeymoon period of the relationship but he didn’t want it to end and nor did he care who knew. He felt like he could climb on top of the Garrison and scream about his love for Keith at the top of his lungs, not caring who knew or heard him. But he would never do that anywhere but in his dreams. 

Keith was still holding his human hand so he used his prosthetic to reach out and run his fingers over Keith’s cheek. He wanted this moment to last forever. If he could he’d wrap it up and keep it. He breathed in deeply. His nostrils filling with a mixture of scents that were a mixture of Keith and hospital. He felt relaxed for the first time since the Lions had crashed. Looking at Keith now he knew he had to let his past go. That meant he had to let go of thoughts of his previous marriage and mistakes. It was in his past now and he couldn't change it. He had Keith now and it was more than he could ever have dreamed of. He also worked towards changing things for the better. He wanted to focus on the future. He had changed the course of events and now he had a whole new future ahead of him. The future he had lived would most likely never happen. He knew he couldn’t keep comparing his life then and his life now. He had to let go for his own peace of mind. He was working to improve himself and change things for the better. He couldn’t allow it to be anything other than a reminder of what to prevent from happening.

He dropped his hand and rested his head back on Keith’s shoulder. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to relax. He soon fell back to sleep feeling more at ease than he had in a long time.

The next time he woke up could feel Keith’s fingers running through his hair. He let out a sigh and slowly opened his eyes. He immediately noticed that they weren’t alone and felt his face heat up. He blushed and felt the breath of a laugh on his head.

He looked up and saw Keith looking down at him. He felt the blush deepened and he sat up. He saw Krolia and Kolivan and cleared his throat. He got off the bed and got dressed. He was thankful that the conversation he had awakened to continued. He was embarrassed enough to have been caught in bed with Keith and would have been mortified if silence had reigned as he put on his jacket and boots.

He heard a beeping and grabbed the datapad. A message lit up the screen ‘ _Meeting 10am_ ’

He looked at the time and swore. He didn’t have time to refresh himself and only had just enough time to get to the meeting.

Keith looked at him with concern hearing Shiro swear. Shiro smiled and walked over to the side of the bed.

“I have to go. I have a meeting to go to. I’ll be back as soon as I can. Unfortunately it seems my day is full of meetings so I’ll be late today.” He said apologetically. He really wanted to spend the day with Keith, especially as he had just woken up.

Keith nodded, “Go. It’s not like I’m going anywhere. I’ll see you later.”

Shiro smiled and leaned down, giving Keith a quick kiss before disappearing out of the door.


	7. Chapter 7

Over the next month the Paladins recovered slowly and were discharged one by one. Keith was the last to be discharged. Something he wasn’t too keen on. By the end he felt like he was going stir crazy. He wanted to be out of the hospital and to help with the preparations for the next battle. He wanted to be helpful and not be sitting on the sidelines. Neither he nor Shiro had any idea that this would be the cause of their first argument.

“Keith, you have to let your body recover. Pushing it too hard, too soon could damage it further.” Shiro said exasperated.

“I’m fine. And I’m not asking for much. I just want to have a few hours outside.” Keith said as he crossed his arms.

“I know you and you would go to the training room. You need to rest.”

“I’ve been resting for a month. A couple of hours in the training room isn’t going to kill me.”

Both could feel their frustration rising. Why didn’t the other understand where they were coming from?

“But what if something happens to you?” Shiro asked as both frustration and fear seeped into his voice.

“Nothing’s going to happen in the training room.” Keith said defiantly.

“Not there, but what happens if you injure yourself more now and then something happens to you out there because you pushed yourself too far now? What then?” Shiro didn’t understand why Keith didn’t get that he needed to stay in hospital for just a few more days and then he would be released.

“That’s not going to happen.”

“But what if it does?”

“You can’t live in what ifs Shiro.”

“What do you think will happen to me if something happens to you?!” Shiro internally winced. He knew it was a low, cheap blow but he couldn’t handle the idea of losing Keith. It was making him irrational. It was unfair of him to say it but his fear had momentarily gotten the better of him and it had slipped out. He hated himself for going there. He knew it was a low blow and he knew Keith knew it as well, judging by the glare he received. 

“I’m sure you’d manage. I did.”

Those words cut straight through to Shiro’s heart. It reminded him of all that Keith had been through because of him. He shook his head.

“I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

“There’s always a chance something could happen. This is war. But I can take care of myself. You have to let me.”

Shiro hung his head, “I know that. I know what you’re capable of when you put your mind to it. But…”

Shiro stared at the floor and let the sentence tail off. Keith felt his frustration drain away, although not completely, from his posture as he watched Shiro’s shoulders slump. He took a step towards him.

“But what?”

Shiro sighed. He could tell that Keith was frustrated, “I’m scared. I’m scared of losing you. I know that if I did…I wouldn’t survive it.”

Shiro let out the last part out as a whisper. He didn’t feel ashamed to admit it but he didn’t want Keith to worry about him more than he already did. It didn’t feel right to put that weight on Keith’s shoulders. It didn't feel fair. Keith let his arms drop and he stepped closer to Shiro. His heart ached at the expression on Shiro's face.

He put his hand on Shiro’s shoulder. The man looked up and Keith was struck by the glassy look in his eyes. There was a sorrow there that nearly floored Keith. Shiro wrapped his arms around Keith and pulled him close. He buried his face into Keith’s hair. The thoughts of what he’d been through in the future played through his mind. It had been bad enough when he and Keith had been distant, but to lose him after he knew what it was like to be with him, he knew the reaction would be worse.

Keith wrapped his arms around Shiro and they simply held each other for a while. Keith pulled back and cupped Shiro’s cheeks.

“This is war. There’s always a chance something will happen to one of us. But I promise you that we will always found our way back to each other. I promised to save you as many times as it takes. I still mean it. Death couldn’t stop us before and it won’t now. I love you and I won’t let anything stand in our way. We will win this war.”

Keith’s words made Shiro smile. He leaned down and kissed him. It felt both calming and exhilarating to have someone have so much faith in them and their efforts. Keith responded enthusiastically.

After a few minutes they pulled away. They smiled and Shiro couldn’t help but place a kiss on Keith’s nose. Keith blushed.

“You’re amazing. You sound like a true leader. I knew you had it in you.” Shiro said and he tightened his grip on Keith.

Keith’s smile turned bashful, “I mean it all.”

“I know. Just promise me that you’ll be careful.”

Keith nodded. Keith lowered his hands and wrapped his arms around Shiro’s waist. He rested his head on Shiro’s chest and they simply held each other. They both needed the comfort of the other’s presence. The argument and topic of conversation had rattled them both.

Shiro eventually pulled away but kept his hands on Keith’s biceps as he took a step back, “Let’s get you back to bed.”

Keith scoffed and rolled his eyes. He did as he was told, grumbling the entire time. Once Keith was settled Shiro couldn’t contain the laugh that escaped from his lips. He placed a kiss on Keith’s head.

“Just a few more days and then you’ll be free.”

“I still don’t understand why I can’t even attend meetings.” Keith complained. Shiro laughed again and smiled at the pout of Keith’s face. He knew Keith was frustrated at being stuck in the hospital but he couldn’t help but think that Keith looked adorable when he pouted.

“Just a few more days.” Shiro reiterated, “I have to go but I’ll be back later. I love you.” He pressed a kiss to Keith’s lips and went to yet another meeting. He felt like it was all he did. He didn’t remember so many from his own time but maybe that was because they all blurred together.

But he kept the smile on his face. It felt incredible to tell Keith he loved him. There was still the fear that Keith could disappear at any moment and he wanted Keith to know how important he was to him. He was never going to take Keith for granted again. He had lost him once, he would do everything in his power to never lose him again.

Keith was recovering and getting better but Shiro found he was now experiencing his own health problems.

* * *

Ever since the Lions has fallen from the sky, he had periodically been experiencing headaches. He had put it up to stress but as the weeks had gone on it seemed the pain was getting worse. He seemed to have the headaches whenever he was around Keith or the other Paladins. He needed to know what was going on.

He decided it was finally time to visit the doctor. He would have to make room in his schedule. This was too important not to know what was going on with his health. He managed to get an appointment the day after Keith was released from hospital. He had told Keith that he wanted to know if the clone body had the disease or not. It wasn't a lie but it wasn't the whole truth either. He didn’t want to let Keith know about the headaches yet. He had enough to worry about and didn’t want to trouble him with this when his concern should be on himself.

Now, two weeks later, he sat in the waiting room as he waited to be called in to receive the results. Shiro found it difficult to stop his leg from bouncing as he waited. He hadn’t been this nervous in a long time. The last time he had been diagnosed he was too young to really understand what was going on or what it meant. He remembered his grandfather being incredibly sad at the news but he hadn’t understood what any of the big words the doctors were using had meant. It was only as he got older that he began to understand what having the disease meant for him.

He felt a warmth remembering his grandfather. The memories he had of childhood were good and he was eternally grateful his time in the Galra arena hadn't taken them from him. He was the only family he had, had and he had sadly passed away a year before the Kerberos mission. He couldn’t help but be thankful for that now. He didn’t want to know what his grandfather could possibly have gone through if he had been informed of the fate of the Kerberos mission as well as dealing with the Galra invasion. He really should see if the graveyard his grandfather was buried in had survived. He owed him a visit.

But it had felt nice to have someone with him when he was last diagnosed. He wished Keith could have come with him but he had physical therapy to attend.

He spotted a nurse walk towards the waiting area with a clipboard in her hand, “Takashi Shirogane.”

He nodded and stood up. The nurse looked at him and nodded back, “Follow me please.”

She took him into one of the offices and he entered the room. Inside sat Dr Ericsson. She turned and greeted Shiro with a smile.

“Shiro, come in. Take a seat.”

Shiro did as he was instructed and sat beside the doctor’s desk. She turned to him and smiled.

“You’re here for your test results, yes?”

Shiro nodded.

The doctor turned back to her screen and pulled up his information, “Well, unfortunately we weren’t able to determine the cause of your headaches. It seems your head is fine. No abnormalities or anything suspicious. It may be stress that’s causing it. I want you to record if it happens again and come to me if they get any worse.”

Shiro nodded. He had a feeling that would be the case. But it didn’t mean it wasn’t disappointing. No definitive cause meant no treatment. He just hoped they didn't impede his ability to fix the future or do his job. Dr Ericsson clicked on another file and turned back to him and smiled.

“As for the other reason you’re here I’m pleased to tell you that you’re all clear.”

Shiro stared at her dumbly. He didn’t quite understand what she was trying to say. She could see the confusion on his face and continued, “You no longer have the disease. Whatever it was the Galra did to you seems to have eradicated the disease from your body. There’s absolutely no trace of it. It’s like you never had it.”

Shiro was stunned. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He didn’t have the disease anymore. It was gone. Thinking about it, he supposed it made sense. Who wanted a weapon that would eventually weaken and die? He dreaded to think of what the Galra had planned for him. But it had meant they had eradicated his disease. It seemed it was the only positive that came out of his experience in the arena. 

He thanked the doctor and left the room. He felt like he was in a daze. He walked through the hospital and made his way to the roof of the Garrison. He sat down and looked out over the horizon and thought about what the doctor had said.

He didn’t have the disease.

He wasn’t dying anymore.

He could have a full life.

He really wasn’t going to die young.

He looked down at his prosthetic and remembered the feeling, the pain caused by the muscle spasms that had plagued his arm. When the Galra had replaced his arm he ceased to have the muscle spasms but he knew his muscles were still deteriorating. He knew it from the way his body ached more and more as time went on. But now he didn’t have that problem. He didn’t know how to describe it but he had felt lighter after he woke up in his clone’s body. He had experienced hyper sensitivity, yes, but after that had begun to fade he felt lighter and stronger than he had in years. He hadn't paid it much attention as his focus had been on other things but now it all made sense. However it made him wonder what else the Galra had done to him. What had else had they changed when they cloned him? But at the same time, did he want to know? He really didn’t know.

His musings were disrupted when he heard the roof door open.

“Shiro?”

Keith approached him and immediately noticed something was the matter. He sat down beside him and noticed him looking at his hand.

“What did the doctor say?”

Shiro kept his gaze on his hand, “The disease is gone. There’s not even a trace of it in my system.”

Shiro looked up and smiled at him. It was just beginning to sink in that he really would live a long life and that his health wasn’t going to deteriorate. He began to laugh. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t sought this information out before. Maybe he really had lived under the assumption that he still had the disease. Maybe that had been a factor in the decisions he had made. He wasn’t sure but he felt free. Like there were no constraints on him and like nothing could hold him back. He had responsibilities yes, but they were things he chose rather than it being chosen for him.

He leaned forward and captured Keith’s lips with his own. He felt incredibly happy. He couldn’t help but smile into the kiss and felt Keith do the same. Keith pulled away and was pleased that Shiro had been given good news.

Shiro kept his arm around Keith’s waist but pulled back as well.

“How did your appointment go?”

Keith shrugged, “It was alright. Slow and boring.”

Shiro raised his arm and rested it on Keith’s shoulders, “You need to take it easy and slowly increase your training. That’ll be better that way, trust me.”

Keith sighed, “I know but it doesn’t stop it from being frustrating. I know I can do more.”

“I know baby, but you’ll be better for it in the end.”

He placed a kiss on Keith’s head and pulled him closer. Keith rested his head on Shiro’s shoulder.

“I’m glad the disease is gone.”

Shiro looked down at Keith, “Me too. It means I get to live a long life with you. “

Keith blushed and burrowed his head further into Shiro’s shoulder at his words. He couldn’t believe Shiro was saying things like that so easily. The pet name and the declaration of wanting to spend his life with him seemed so easy to say. It wasn’t that Keith didn’t want to do that or that he didn’t like it. He did, he wanted both of those things. He was surprised at how much. In a way it made him feel special. But that didn’t mean he was ever going to get used to it. He really wasn’t used to anything like this. He had never been in a relationship before and he wasn’t confident with saying things like that. But he liked to hear it from Shiro.

The two sat in silence and looked over the horizon. The future looked good for them.

It was several hours before the two decided to leave the roof. Night had fallen and so had the temperature. The two walked back to the warm halls of the ATLAS. Shiro couldn’t help but chuckle at the slight dissatisfaction that he felt coming from the ATLAS at the fact he had been out in the cold.

Keith looked at him and raised an eyebrow in question. Shiro shrugged his shoulders.

“The ATLAS disapproves of our being out in the cold. She wants us to be fighting fit and not potentially getting ill.”

Keith chuckled as well. Shiro felt a warmth flow through him hearing Keith’s laugh. He would swear that he fell more in love with Keith the more time they spent together. Once again he mentally berated himself for having let Keith walk away in his own time. The love Keith had for him was obvious in the way he looked at him. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t seen it before or that he ever thought that being away from Keith was a good idea.

“Shiro?”

Shiro came out of his thoughts and smiled at Keith, “I love you.”

Keith blushed, “Sap.”

The smile never left Shiro’s face as they made their way to dinner and then back to Shiro’s living quarters.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to make some amendments to this fic and the sex scene was one of the biggest issues I had with this fic so decided to rewrite it.

The two soon found themselves on Shiro’s bed watching an old sci-fi film. It was called Star Wars: A New Hope and Shiro loved it despite its age. It had been one of the first films he remembered watching with his grandfather. It was the start of his dream to explore the stars.

Keith laid on Shiro’s chest and Shiro didn’t resist the urge to run his fingers through Keith’s hair. About half way through the film Shiro had lost interest and his focus was on Keith. He marvelled at how soft his hair was. He couldn’t stop running his fingers through it.

He also felt more relaxed than he had in a long time. The pressure of someone laying on his chest felt grounding and knowing it was Keith allowed him to let his guard down. He couldn’t remember the last time he had done something like this with a partner nor the last time he felt so relaxed.

He looked back at the screen when a mild headache began to form. He really wished the doctor had found out what was causing them. He winced and closed his eyes. Maybe the light from the screen was getting to him.

Keith noticed Shiro tense and turned his attention to him. He leaned up on his elbow and looked down at Shiro.

“You okay, Shiro?”

“Yeah. Just a mild headache.”

“You need anything?”

Shiro shook his head and leaned up to kiss Keith hoping to distract them both. He didn't want to tell Keith yet because he didn't know what to say.

He quickly pressed his lips to Keith’s again and the film and the headache were soon forgotten. Instead they indulged in deeper kisses. They explored each other’s mouth, which was made easier as Keith climbed on top of Shiro and straddled him. The kisses continued and Keith rolled his hips a few times.

Shiro moaned and rolled his hips in response. He had almost forgotten how sensitive his body was at this time and soon found himself hard. And it seemed he wasn’t the only one.

He rolled over and pinned Keith beneath him. They continued kissing and Shiro experimentally ground his hips against Keith's. Both moaned. This position allowed for more contact than their previous one. The kissing and grinding continued and soon both were panting. Neither wanted to stop but Shiro knew they would regret getting their clothes messy if they didn’t stop.

He pulled away from Keith and looked down at the young man. He looked flushed and his eyes were half closed as he looked up at Shiro. Shiro opened his mouth to say his name when Keith chose that moment to roll his hips in a way that had his brain short circuiting.

He rolled his hips in response and it wasn't long before both reached their climaxes.

They remained kissing for a few moments afterwards. Shiro couldn’t believe they had done that. He couldn’t remember the last time he had done something like this. He felt like a teenager who was discovering sex for the first time. He pulled back and looked at Keith. They smiled at each other as their breathing returned to normal.

However soon both began to feel uncomfortable with the mess in their underwear.

Shiro rolled off of Keith and got up. He walked towards his dresser. He pulled out his sleepwear and got out a t-shirt and sweatpants and handed them to Keith.

“I’m, umm, going to, uhh, change.” Shiro said as he headed towards the bathroom.

He felt a bit ridiculous for feeling embarrassed, especially after what he and Keith had just done. He soon changed and returned to the bedroom. He blushed when he saw that Keith had changed as well. His uniform in a pile by the end of the bed.

Seeing Keith laying casually on his bed, and in his clothes, made Shiro long for a time when this would be normal. He didn’t want Keith to leave his bed. He was definitely appreciating the view.

Keith looked up at the noise of the door opening and saw Shiro enter and stop. He noticed the blush on his cheeks and blushed himself. It felt good to know that Shiro liked what he saw. He couldn’t believe that he and Shiro had done what they had done. It was almost unbelievable to him that Shiro had given him a chance for a relationship and Keith had forgotten to consider what that entailed. He knew logically being in the relationship meant that Shiro was physically attracted to him as well as having romantic feelings but he had never allowed himself to believe anything would come of it. After all, he was willing to take whatever it was Shiro was willing to give. Reality was definitely better than fantasy in that respect. He couldn’t wait to see what they would do next.

Shiro made his way over to the bed and sat down next to Keith, “We should probably talk about that.”

Keith nodded.

“So, umm…” Shiro blushed and scratched the back of his neck.

“I’d like to do that again.” Keith said as he blushed. His words caused the blush on Shiro’s cheeks to deepen.

“Me too. But we should probably wait for any more until you’re fully recovered.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to set back your recovery in any way. No matter how much I would like to do it again. Your health comes first.”

Keith nodded. He understood Shiro’s words but that didn’t mean he wasn’t frustrated and annoyed by them. He wasn’t fragile, far from it. But he understood. They were still fighting a war and the Paladins would be needed sooner rather than later. They needed to be fighting fit again as soon as possible and it wasn’t sensible to do anything that might hinder than in any way.

But that didn’t mean that he had to like it or that he was patient.

But it wasn’t long before that changed.

Despite the fact that they had promised to wait until Keith was fully recovered before doing anything sexual, they had failed miserably. He and Keith had repeated that afternoon in his room multiple times and even given each other a few hand jobs and given oral a go. But it really wasn’t his fault. He just found it incredibly difficult to control himself around Keith. His beautiful, sexy, courageous, stubborn, handsome boyfriend was difficult to resist.

Shiro could hardly believe he got to be with Keith like this. He couldn’t believe that Keith was giving him this chance but he also couldn’t believe just how much he felt for Keith. It was almost like he understood love for the first time by being with Keith.

He smiled to himself. He could wax poetically about Keith forever if given the chance.

His thoughts turned to the future once again. He felt so guilty when he thought about it. He had lost count of the amount of times Keith had taken his breath away because of the way he looked at him. Keith now looked at him with such open adoration and devotion that it overwhelmed him on some days. But it was also the source of his guilt because the way Keith looked at him made his feelings obvious before he voiced them. To know that the Keith from his time had hidden that and that he hadn’t seen it made him feel sick.

How had he walked away from Keith?

* * *

It was another two months before Keith and the other Paladins were fully recovered. All of them were sick of hospitals and appointments by the end of it. They were all glad to finally get back to work. Which is something none of them thought they would be saying. To celebrate their full recoveries they decided to have a party. Which turned into a barbecue. There was even a pool which most people had taken a dip in at some point.

It seemed everyone was glad for the break. Shiro didn't think there was anyone not in attendance. He mingled as he tried to find Keith. It didn’t take him long but when he did he felt his mouth drop open.

Keith was chatting with Lance but it was what he was wearing that made Shiro freeze. He was wearing swimming trunks and swimming trunks only. Shiro felt his mouth go dry as he noticed water droplets running down Keith’s chest. His eyes followed one particular drop the made his way passed his chest and then continue down by following the contours of his well defined stomach muscles. It travelled further and was eventually caught by the waistband of Keith’s trunks which rested on his hips.

Shiro couldn’t take his eyes off of Keith. Had Keith always looked this good? For a moment he couldn’t believe that this gorgeous man was his. Once again he thanked his lucky stars, Allura and every cosmic entity that existed for giving him this chance.

“Enjoying the view?”

Shiro dragged his eyes away from Keith and saw Matt walking towards him with a drink in each hand. Matt handed him one and gestured in Keith’s general direction.

“You see something you like there, Captain?”

Shiro choked on his drink and coughed. He turned to Matt as he blushed, “I-I don’t know what you mean.”

Matt couldn’t help but smile, “Oh really? Because it looked like you were ready to devour him.”

Shiro blushed. Matt chuckled beside him as he watched a love struck expression make its way into Shiro’s face as he looked at Keith. He was happy for his friends. After everything they had all been through they deserved happiness. But that didn't mean he didn't take great pleasure in teasing them.

“So you’re not going to jump him then?” He said teasingly.

Shiro turned his attention away from Keith, “No.”

Matt laughed, “Well, could you look less like you want to undress him in public and have your way with him?”

Shiro’s blush deepened and he coughed, “I-I don’t k-know what you mean?”

Matt laughed again. Keith’s attention was caught by Matt’s laugh and noticed Shiro for the first time. He excused himself from the conversation and made his way over to Shiro and Matt.

As he approached Shiro felt like his brain was short circuiting. His eyes kept gazing down and focusing on his hips as he walked. The way there was a slight sway to them was almost intoxicating to watch. There weren’t water droplets on Keith anymore but that didn’t mean he wasn’t admiring his abs.

Matt could barely keep his laughter in at the look on Shiro’s face. Shiro turned his attention away from Keith and glared at Matt.

He shoved the redhead slightly, “Would you shut up?!”

Keith stopped in front of Shiro and watched the scene in front of him. He wasn’t sure what to make of it but he could admit it was nice to see Shiro acting his own age, even if he had no idea what was going on.

“Everything alright?” Keith asked.

The other two turned their attention back to him.

Matt smiled, “Yep, everything’s good. Paladins ready to be back in action?”

Keith nodded, “We got the final health clearance yesterday. Whatever happens next we’re ready for it.”

Matt and Keith continued to converse about the rebels and the Paladins and Shiro was thankful for the distraction. He could feel desire running through him at the sight of Keith half naked and it was messing with his brain. He wanted to be professional and mingle but he found he couldn’t draw his eyes away from Keith. While the fear of losing him had died down, the desire to be around him all the time had not.

He wanted to take Keith and hide away in a little corner somewhere. Maybe even make out a little.

He resisted and settled on wrapping an arm around Keith’s waist. It helped to ground him. Shiro had gotten over most of his hypersensitivity but it reappeared occasionally. Particularly occasions like this were there were a lot of people around in an unfamiliar location.

The party seemed to pass by quicker with Keith by his side. When they weren’t conversing with Garrison officials they were talking to each other or their friends. Hours had passed and neither had noticed.

Shiro looked around and his heart felt light at the fact that everyone was getting the chance to relax and wind down. It was desperately needed as everyone had been working so hard for the war effort. It was also a relief to know that the Paladins had been given a complete bill of health. Now plans could be made for their next move.

The sun soon began to set and people dispersed. Shiro and Keith eventually found themselves back in Shiro’s quarters, not quite ready to let the good mood of the day dwindle just yet.

Both had showers and got dressed into t-shirt and sweatpants, though in Shiro’s case he wore a tank top. They relaxed on the sofa as a movie played on the screen. Neither really paid attention. Keith kept shifting, almost nervous on the seat beside Shiro. He picked up on it and waited for Keith to say or do something.

He didn’t have to wait long when Keith shifted and cupped his cheek, turning his head towards him. Their lips pressed together and quickly fell into a familiar rhythm. The kissing continued for several minutes and their position shifted as Keith moved to straddle Shiro. It was a position they had been in before and both enjoyed. Shiro’s hands found Keith’s hips as Keith wrapped his around Shiro’s neck. The occasional bit of grinding accompanied the kissing and the two fell into a familiar pattern.

However a few minutes later Keith suddenly stopped.

Shiro pulled away and looked at Keith’s face. Keith’s face was red as the words he wanted to say played in his mind.

“Can we…?” Keith didn’t know how to word it without it sounding awkward. He had wanted to ask Shiro if they could have sex multiple times but the words never left his mouth. He forced them out now but didn’t dare to look at Shiro’s face.

Shiro smiled as he realised what Keith was asking. He moved his hands from Keith’s hips and cupped both his cheeks. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Keith’s lips.

“Of course. But I suggest we move to the bed as it’ll be more comfortable for the both of us.” He said as he gestured for Keith to move.

He led them both to the bedroom and there was a nervous tension in the room. Despite the fact that he had, had sex before it had been in his original body. He wasn’t sure how this new body would react to sex. He briefly considered thinking about his own time but found the memories foggy and unclear. He realised in that moment that he was essentially a virgin again. This body had never been touched and he didn’t know how it would react. It surprised him that his memories of the future were becoming hazier has time went on, but he couldn't find it in himself to care. He mentally shook his head as he didn’t want anything to ruin this experience. He wanted to focus on Keith.

Seeing Keith stood in the middle of his bedroom was a sight he enjoyed. But nervousness tinged the air. He knew that Keith had no experience and that everything they did for the first time was Keith’s _first time_. He could feel the his heart, and another part of him, swelling at the idea of sharing such an experience with Keith.

He checked the bedside drawers and confirmed he did have lube and condoms. He turned back to Keith and stopped in front of him. Keith looked up but didn’t say anything.

“How about I bottom this time?” Shiro suggested as he wrapped his arms around Keith’s waist.

“What?”

Keith looked up at Shiro confused. Everything they had done so far and involved Shiro being between Keith’s legs. It wasn’t ridiculous to assume that’s also how his first time would be as well. Shiro smiled as he tightened his grip.

“I want your first time to be as special as possible, as good as possible. And trust me when I say that bottoming can be a bit uncomfortable if you’re not used to it. I made the mistake of bottoming my first time and it hurt like hell because neither of us knew what we were doing. I don’t want that for you. I want this to be as good as it can be.”

Keith couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He was touched that Shiro wanted this to be special for him but he wasn’t fragile. He would be lying if he said that he hadn’t fantasised about Shiro fucking him.

“I could do it.”

“I know but this is your first time. You should be focused on the pleasure not anything uncomfortable or painful. Besides I kind of miss it.”

“Huh?”

Shiro blushed as he focused on Keith’s shoulder, “It’s just that it’s been a long time but I kind of enjoyed bottoming when I was with Adam. Plus it’s just, it’s been a while. I haven’t actually had sex since before Kerberos so I hope I can remember what to do.”

“Oh, okay.”

Keith didn’t really know what to say to that. He leaned up and pressed a kiss to Shiro’s lips before stepping back and taking off his shirt.

Shiro stared for a moment before removing his own shirt. He removed his sweatpants and reached for Keith's and guided them down his legs leaving them in their underwear. It wasn't the first time they had been wearing so little in front of each other but it was different now. It was different when they knew it would lead to more. Taking a step back they let their eyes wander over the other's bodies. Both felt a bit self conscious. Keith had never been with anyone and although he and Shiro had done some things the worry that Shiro wouldn't find him attractive still existed in the back of his mind. He fought against it as he saw the look in Shiro's eyes change and was mesmerised as Shiro licked his lips as he looked him up and down. On the other hand Shiro had always struggled to come to terms with the scars on his body. He felt unattractive with them all littered across his skin but seeing Keith's heated gaze told him that maybe they weren't as ugly as he thought they were. 

Keith tentatively reached out and traced a few of the scars on Shiro's chest. Shiro shuddered and felt his muscles twitch as Keith's feather light touch ran over his skin. His eyes found the few scars that Keith had and stepped forward. He reached out and traced the ones he could reach with his human hand. He wanted to feel Keith's skin against his own. He wanted, needed the touch. Knowing that this was going to be their first time, as well as Keith's, made Shiro determined to make it as enjoyable as he could.

He leaned forward and began to press kisses to all the scars he could reach. Any he couldn't reach with his mouth he traced with his fingers. He felt Keith grip his head and pull him up to kiss his lips. As they did so he moved them back towards the bed. Keith stumbled when his legs hit the bed but remained standing with his arms around Shiro's shoulders. 

Shiro pulled away and smiled. Keith returned the smile and wondered what Shiro was going to do. He watched as Shiro reached for his own underwear and pulled it down before kicking it off. Keith let Shiro go and did the same with his own underwear. Now they were both naked as the day they were born in front of each other. Shiro stepped forward and wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled Keith to him so there was no space between them. He smiled again as he felt the skin to skin contact. It was so different from anything they had done before and they were determined to enjoy it for as long as possible.

They moved over to the bed and laid down. Keith rested on top of the pillows as Shiro straddled his lap. The two began kissing again and the new friction of skin on skin was almost overwhelming. The friction was so much better than when they tried this clothed. Keith didn’t know where to put his hands so tried to feel as much of Shiro as possible. Shiro took great pleasure from the caresses. He was still a bit touch starved so Keith’s hands on him were enough to distract him from his doubts about performance. He grabbed a hold of Keith's hands and placed them on his hips. Neither could believe that they were really about to do this.

Shiro looked down at Keith, "You're beautiful, baby."

Keith blushed at Shiro's words, "You look good too."

Shiro pulled away and got the bottle of lube. He got off of Keith’s lap and sat on the bed. He undid the cap and squeezed a bit out onto his fingers. He blushed at the idea of opening himself up in front of someone, even when that someone was Keith. He laid down next to Keith and began to open himself up. Neither could deny that it was incredibly hot to have an audience for this. Keith unconsciously licked his lips as Shiro couldn’t help but buck his hips every so often as he hit a particularly sensitive spot.

Eventually Shiro felt ready and he sat up. He pushed Keith over until he was lying on his back and straddled him again. He grabbed the lube and put some more on himself and then on Keith. He tossed the bottle onto the nightstand and leaned down to kiss Keith.

He sat back up and grabbed a hold of Keith before positioning him at his entrance. He slowly sank down, getting used to the feeling of intrusion again. Slowly he inched down and soon sat on Keith’s lap completely. Damn he had missed this.

Keith didn’t seem to know where to put his hands and settled on Shiro’s thighs. The feeling of being inside Shiro was incredible. He took a few deep breaths as he tried not to cum immediately but he had a feeling he wasn’t going to last very long. He knew his stamina for this kind of thing would be extremely limited and he worried that it wouldn't be good for Shiro as a result.

Shiro took several deep breaths as he got used to the intrusion. It felt incredible. He couldn't believe that he and Keith were really doing this. It felt like a dream that he was actually able to be with Keith in this way. He looked down and could see worry in Keith's eyes.

"What is it Keith?"

"I want this to be good for you, but I don't think I'm going to last long."

The blush on both of their faces deepened. Shiro leaned down and kissed him.

"Don't worry about it. All that matters is that you feel good. Besides I don't think I will last long either. Between the hypersensitivity and the fact that this body is technically a virgin too, I doubt that it will take a lot to make me cum. But that doesn't mean that we'll stop. Practice makes perfect after all. We'll just have to keep trying until we figure out what we both like."

Keith stared at Shiro dumbly for a few seconds. He had never considered that the clone body had never been touched. He nodded and squeezed Shiro's thighs. Shiro gave him a peck on the lips before rising and began moving. They didn't manage to find a rhythm as they quickly became lost to the sensations of their first time together. Neither lasted very long at all. They didn’t know how long but it was mere minutes before both came.

Shiro slowly got off of Keith’s lap and laid next to him. He pressed a kiss to his lips before getting up to clean up. He came back with wet wipes and a couple of clean cloths. He cleaned them both up and then got back to bed. Both remained naked as they laid side by side. They kissed some more revelling in what they had just done. Neither could believe they had just done that. Keith was glad that he hadn’t fought Shiro on the position as he had definitely been able to focus on the pleasure of his first time rather than anything uncomfortable. He also couldn’t believe that he had just had sex with Shiro; the man of his dreams, the love of his life, the man he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. 

Shiro felt so happy he had been able to share that with Keith. While it hadn’t been the best sex he had ever had, it had been the most emotional. It was also the most connected he had felt to another person. He couldn’t wait to see what else they could do.

The two soon fell asleep cuddled together and with smiles on their faces.


	9. Chapter 9

Shiro didn’t have a good night though. His headache returned with a vengeance later that night. He could barely open his eyes and soon fell unconscious due to the pain. Luckily it had rendered him immobile so he didn't wake Keith. He considered that a small mercy. He didn't want to worry him more than he already did.

* * *

_Shiro slowly opened his eyes and saw familiar black, purple and pink swirls. He panicked for a moment._

“ _No.” He whispered. His voice lost to the abyss. He couldn’t believe he was back here. But how could he be here?_ _He couldn’t be here yet. He hadn’t finished all that he had to do yet._

“ _Tell me what you’re up to?”_

_Shiro stopped and turned around. He was surprised to find another version of himself stood in front of him._

“ _Tell me what your plan is for the Paladins? Why are you here? Who are you?” The other Shiro asked as he took a step forward._

_Shiro took a reactive step back and held up his hands._

“ _What? I don’t have a plan for the Paladins. I don’t want to hurt them.”_

“ _Then why did you take over my body?”_

_Shiro stopped. Was this his younger self? He looked down and saw he was wearing the outfit he had worn back in the future. He looked back at what must be a younger version of himself and it dawned on him what was going on._

_Of course this was his younger self. He let out a deep breath as he realised what had happened to his younger self but he wasn’t ready to confront this right now. He sighed as he took a step forward and raised his arms again._

“ _I didn’t plan on taking over your body, although I suppose it makes sense that I did.” He tried to explain._

“ _What are you talking about?”_

“ _I’m from the future. I’m you from the future. I was sent back to correct some wrongs.”_

“ _And those wrongs included sleeping with Keith?”_

_Ahh, so he was aware of what was going on. Shiro wasn’t sure how he felt about that._

“ _Maintaining contact with Keith was. Sleeping with him was never part of the plan.”_

_The younger Shiro glared, “And what? You just couldn’t help yourself?”_

_The older Shiro flared back, “I acted on feelings that were already there. You know how we feel about Keith. I just couldn’t hold back anymore. Not after what happened...”_

_The younger Shiro faltered, “What do you mean, what happened?”_

_The older Shiro sighed, “Some things happened that weren’t suppose to. We won the war but lost Allura. Then after that we lost Keith. But they weren’t suppose to die, they were suppose to live. So I got sent back to stop it.”_

_The younger Shiro didn’t know what to say or how to react. Should he believe his words? In the small amount he had been able to see through this man’s eyes he had shown no ill intention towards the Paladins. If anything he seemed to be bringing them together more. They seemed to be stronger than ever as a unit._

“ _But that doesn’t explain what you’re doing with Keith.”_

_Older Shiro gave him a blank stare._

“ _Look, I made a lot of mistakes in my future and lost Keith long before he actually died. I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t make things right. The relationship was never part of the plan. I wanted to leave things in a place where you could take that step. But things didn’t work that way. Not that I regret any of it.”_

_Younger Shiro didn’t know what to say. But he felt conflicted. On the one hand he wanted to be sure that this person in front of him really didn’t mean Keith and the Paladins any harm, but on the other he couldn’t say he wasn’t jealous._

_This other version of himself was living out the fantasises that he had, had of Keith but never admitted to. The worst part was that he wasn’t in control of his body but felt many of the effects. The pleasure that they had both felt had been what caused this meeting. He had been trying to push passed the barrier around him for months. He kept all of this to himself but the look on his other’s face told him he knew._

“ _When will this be over?” He asked._

_The older Shiro shrugged, “I don’t know. I have a feeling after the war ends. I’m not really sure but I know I won’t be here forever.”_

_The younger Shiro nodded. How did someone react to all this information? What did he do? Did he try to take control of his body or let this thing play out?_

“ _Please let me finish what I started.”_

_The younger Shiro looked at his older self as he begged to be allowed to retain control of his body for the time being. He really didn’t know what to do. He wanted control of his own body but it seemed he needed to relinquish control for a while longer. He didn't know why but he trusted this other version of himself. He believed his words and his intentions. He just hoped he really did get his body back. But he also had to deal with the actions his older self had taken while in his body. Especially in relation to Keith. He knew the words were true. Deep down his feelings for Keith went beyond the platonic but he had been unsure about acting on them. Now that his older self had done that, did he continue once he got control of his body? In all honesty he wanted to. He wanted to be with Keith and he couldn’t help the giddiness he felt knowing Keith wanted him back. But he couldn’t help but be jealous of his older counterpart._

_Silence sat heavily between them as the next move was considered._

_Neither knew how long the silence stretched out but eventually the younger Shiro sighed._

“ _I really don’t have a choice but to let things continue, do I?” He asked as he hung his head and crossed his arms._

“ _I wish there were another way but I don’t believe there is.” Older Shiro smiled sadly at his younger counterpart._

_The younger nodded and Shiro saw the world around him blur and fade._

* * *

Shiro slowly opened his eyes and the first thing he noticed was that the pain in his head was gone. He took a deep breath and stared at the ceiling. At least he knew what was causing his headaches now. He wasn’t sure how he felt about the fact that his younger self was aware of what was going on. It seemed that they weren’t sharing thoughts but they were sharing whatever their body was feeling.

He felt better that he had approval for what he was doing but he did feel guilty for hijacking his younger self’s body and taking control of it. He had no idea how long this would last and worried about the consequences for his younger self. Would he remember all this?

Shuffling drew his attention away from his thoughts. He looked down and saw a head of black hair. Keith was still sleeping, nestled on his chest. Shiro was glad that his headache and dream hadn’t woken him up. He pulled Keith closer and pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

He wondered what his younger self thought about their relationship. He had been protective of Keith and hadn’t denied he had feelings for Keith. He thought about himself back at this point in time. He knew he had feelings for Keith but had hidden them deep down. Convinced that not only that he wasn’t worthy of someone like Keith but that Keith could only love him as a brother.

He recalled the fight the clone he had with Keith. As the clone pressed the blade closer to Keith’s throat and the heat from the blade seared his cheek forever, he had called out the words that had he thought would be his last.

“Shiro, I love you.”

Those words had haunted his dreams for months. In what could have been his final moments Keith had said words that both floored and thrilled him. He had so desperately wanted it to be a love confession but he didn’t dare dream that’s how Keith had meant the words. Keith deserved so much more than a broken man. He deserved the universe and Shiro wasn’t sure he could offer Keith that. But now, now he realised that that’s exactly what it had been. It had been a love confession. In what could have been his final moments Keith had told Shiro what he really meant to him. It took his breath away thinking about it.

It was clear just how much he had let fear rule his life in the past. He was relieved he wasn’t doing that anymore and it made his resolve to right things even greater.

* * *

Over the course of the next few weeks Shiro worked harder than ever. He attended all the meetings he had to, fill out reports, and took part in training sessions. He also spent time with the Paladins and Keith. He needed them to know they were still friends as well as a team. He wanted to make sure that their bond was maintained.

As for he and Keith, things seemed to only get better. They still went on dates, although less frequently and were more openly affectionate. They continued to have sex and it turned out Keith was a quick learner. He had soon picked up on what turned Shiro on and how best to pleasure him. It had led to some very enjoyable nights. After a couple of weeks Keith had asked if he could bottom. It had taken a few tries before Keith had gotten truly comfortable with the position but the two had had a lot of fun experimenting and switching. He could now definitely say he was having the best sex of his life. Not only was the physical stimuli just right but the emotional connection made it even better. Shiro hadn’t known anything like it since Adam but it all seemed so much more with Keith.

Shiro really didn’t think his life could get any better at the moment. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t constantly reminded that they were fighting a war. Clean up had finished and the rebuilding had begun.

Throughout all the meetings, one thing had become clear…if they were to defeat Haggar then they would have to travel into space and face her out there.

So preparations for the journey began.


	10. Chapter 10

Shiro looked at the crowd in front of him. The Paladins, the MFE pilots, the ATLAS crew and other Garrison officials. He was proud of them for all they had achieved over the last few months. The ATLAS was a engineering marvel and training between ATLAS and Voltron had been going well. He couldn’t believe it had been nine months since Sendak’s defeat. Although a doubt at the back of his mind wondered what Haggar was doing if she wasn’t targeting Voltron.

“It’s our last night on Earth. Spend it with the people you love.” He said and everyone began to dissipate as he stepped away from the controls. His eyes caught Keith’s and he made his way over to the Red Paladin.

“Nice speech.” Keith said as he leaned up for a kiss. Shiro leaned down and met Keith halfway.

“Thanks. So where do you fancy going tonight?”

Keith folded his arms and contemplated for a few moments, “How about where we used to watch the sunset? We haven’t been there in a while.”

“Sure. I’ll get the food and I’ll meet you there. I still have a bit of paperwork to fill out. I’ll be sure not to miss the sunset.” Shiro left after leaving a kiss on Keith’s lips.

Keith made his way to Black with Kosmo ever faithful by his side. He waited for Black to open up and he headed out to what had become ‘their spot’. He left the cockpit and sat on top of Black’s head. Alone with only Kosmo he allowed the peace of the place to wash over him. He felt himself calm down and the tension left his body. All of it apart from a small amount.

Although he had been with Shiro for a while now there was always a doubt in his mind that Shiro would one day decide to leave him. He also knew how much of a workaholic Shiro could be and he worried that Shiro would forget and he would be left to spend the last night on Earth alone. He shook his head. Shiro had never forgotten a date before, he doubted it would start now. He should have gotten over this already. He blamed it on his abandonment issues.

Being alone on Black allowed him to think over all he had been through. It was a moment to breathe and reminisce. He thought about all the things he had been through over the last few years. He couldn’t believe that he had found a small, dysfunctional family in the Paladins or that he had found his mum after so long of wishing for her presence in his life.

The biggest surprise was Shiro. The man had always been important to him. He had given him a chance when no one else had. They had become fast friends. Keith could admit he had a bit of a crush on Shiro in the months before Kerberos. How could he not? However his feelings for him had become more after Kerberos. He had grieved for Shiro in a way he hadn’t grieved for anyone since his dad had died. But he refused to believe that Shiro was dead. His faith had paid off. Finding him again had been a miracle and had felt like a weight was lifted from his shoulders. Finding Voltron and all the adventures it had brought with it were more than he could have ever imagined. Losing Shiro again had felt like his heart had been ripped out. Finding him again had restored it. Every word he said to Shiro was true, he would save him as many times as it takes. Then his wildest dream had come true. Shiro loved him back.

He raised his fingers to his lips and remembered the ghost of Shiro’s lips against his own. He couldn’t help the smile that stretched across his lips. He never would have believed that Shiro would love him back, let alone agree to be in a relationship with him. He was able to kiss Shiro when he wanted, hug him, sleep in his bed and even have sex. He still couldn’t believe he got to be intimate with Shiro. He remembered being so nervous as he hadn’t had any experience but Shiro had been so patient. He found he wanted to make sure that he gave as much pleasure to Shiro as he gave him. He was determined to learn as much as he could. It was also fun putting it into practice.

He really couldn’t believe how well his life had been going. He had found his mum and she was a presence in his life. He had a family and he was in a relationship with the love of his life who was also his best friend. He really couldn’t ask for more. Apart from an end to the war. But there was a doubt at the back of his mind that was waiting for the other shoe to drop. He knew it was stupid but he couldn’t help it. He didn’t want to doubt Shiro and knew that it would take time for his doubts to disappear. He hoped that in time they would.

After a brief interlude from Lance he finally heard footsteps behind him. He turned and saw Shiro with a basket. He smiled and turned back to the sunset.

“What took you so long?” Keith teased.

Shiro sighed as he put down the basket and sat beside Keith, “It seems everyone wanted my signature. It turns out the Captain of the ship is very popular the night before take off.”

Keith was torn about the situation. He was thrilled that Shiro was taking the time to spend with him but he also didn’t want to take Shiro away from his duties.

“Hey.”

Keith turned towards Shiro as he felt a hand cup his cheek.

“I can hear you thinking from here. You’re not taking me away from anything. I’m here because I want to be here. Besides, I did give the order to spend the last night on Earth with the people you love.”

He leaned in and kissed Keith. The kiss quickly deepened and the two indulged in the tranquillity of the moment.

It was soon interrupted by the sound of the basket being tipped over.

“Kosmo!”

The space wolf turned on the puppy dog eyes as he sat next to the basket. Keith sighed and Shiro chuckled at the wolf’s antics. Shiro used his prosthetic to reach over to the basket and pick it up. It brought it over to him and Keith and took out some of the food.

He picked a piece of meat out of a sandwich and offered it to Kosmo, who gladly took it. Satisfied the wolf laid back down next to Keith.

Shiro laughed as Keith stroked the wolf’s head and watched as his tail thumped against the Black Lion’s head.

“I thought you weren’t going to call him by any name?” He queried as he passed a sandwich to Keith.

“I wasn’t. But recently Kosmo is the only thing he will respond to.”

“You ever think maybe that’s his way of telling you what his name is.”

Keith huffed, “Maybe. Stubborn wolf.”

“Sounds like somebody else I know.”

Keith pouted and turned his attention to Shiro.

“And I love him.” Shiro kissed the pout off of Keith’s lips. They kissed for a few moments before returning to the food. They ate in silence, with the occasional bit of food being offered to Kosmo.

It was nice to just spend time together with no obligations or responsibilities. It was nice to pretend were like every other young couple, even if they were sat on top of a giant intergalactic robot lion with a space wolf sat beside them.

Eventually the sky turned dark and the stars came out. They still took Shiro’s breath away. Even after everything he had experienced. But the most beautiful thing he had ever seen was sat beside him. Shiro stared dreamily at Keith who was watching the stars. Feeling Shiro’s gaze he turned to him and blushed when he noticed the look on Shiro’s face.

“Think we should head back?” Shiro asked.

“Sure. Want a ride back in Black?”

Shiro nodded and the two began to clean up. They climbed down into Black and settled into the cockpit. As Keith set everything up for the journey back, Shiro couldn’t help but feel nostalgic. Being back was like visiting an old friend. There was a part of him that longed to be back in her pilot seat but he could never bring himself to take that from Keith.

Keith got them back to the Garrison and the two found themselves in Shiro’s quarters taking advantage of a night with no interruptions.


	11. Chapter 11

Lift-off had been a success and Shiro couldn’t help but chuckle at the awe and wonder on the faces of many of the crew as they travelled amongst the stars. Although they were still at war and travelling to bring the fight to Haggar, he couldn’t help but feel some of the old excitement he used to feel when he first imagined what space travel would be like. The journey was smooth and they had encountered few problems.

The Paladins had left the ATLAS to help a planet that has asked for help. It felt odd to be left behind and Shiro wasn’t sure he liked it. He knew that he was no longer a Paladin but he felt a bit jealous while he remained in orbit above the planet.

But that didn’t mean it wasn’t eventful on the ATLAS.

Shiro had finally decided to grab some lunch in the early afternoon and to his dismay there was a fight going on in the mess hall.

It appeared several crew members were ganging up on Curtis.

“WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!”

His voice boomed across the hall and everyone immediately stopped. Curtis saw the opportunity to escape and ran towards him. Matt and some of the MFE pilots had rushed forward to block the aggressive crew members from moving forward.

“Anyone care to tell me what’s going on?” Shiro folded his arms and waited for an answer. The crew shifted uncomfortably but no one talked. Shiro shifted his attention to Curtis.

“Maybe you can tell me what happened?”

Curtis seemed to shrink into himself and shook his head, “I just came to eat some lunch when I was jumped from behind. Next thing I know they’re all on top of me.”

“Tell him what you did!” Someone yelled from the crowd.

“Yeah, tell him. He won’t protect you once he finds out!” Came another voice.

“Somebody needs to tell me what this is about. NOW!” Shiro once again faced the crowd.

The one who had been attacking Curtis, who looked to be the instigator, got out of Matt’s grip and took a step forward.

“He’s a traitor. Traitor’s aren’t welcome here.”

“And why is he a traitor?”

Shiro could feel uneasiness crawling down his spine. His stomach began to twist and knot as he dreaded the next words said to him.

“He betrayed us to the Galra!”

“What? How?”

Shiro couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He felt his blood run cold. There’s no way…he couldn’t possibly…why would he…? He couldn’t think straight.

“He’s the one that brought the Galra to Earth in the first place! All the death, the devastation, all that we’ve lost is because of him! Why should he be rewarded for that by being part of the bridge crew? Why should he get off from this when it’s all his fault!”

Everyone stopped at his words. Shiro felt himself freeze. He felt nothing but shock. He didn’t want to believe the words. He turned towards Curtis.

“Is this true?”

Curtis shook his head, “Well, no. Not exactly. I mean, I didn’t…I didn’t mean to. It…it wasn’t…”

Anger roared through Shiro at his weak denial. He couldn’t believe it!

“Matt, take Curtis and lock him in his room. We’ll decide what to do later. Griffin, take cadet Campbell to the holding cells and let him cool off. As for the rest of you; Joseph, Hernandez and Williams you have cleaning duties for a month. Sam, Iverson I’d like a word.”

With that he marched out of the room. He could hear the commotion dying down behind him but he just felt sick. He made his way to one of the meeting rooms and waited for Sam and Iverson to follow.

He rubbed his hands over his face as he considered that the accusations could very well be true. If that was the case, what was he going to do? They were in space and it wasn’t like he could evict Curtis from the ship. He may be angry but he wasn’t cruel. But it also left a bitter taste in his mouth about the implications of the relationship he had had with Curtis. Implications he wasn’t comfortable thinking about.

He was soon joined by Iverson and Sam Holt and he couldn’t help but notice that Sam looked sheepish.

“So are the accusations true?”

“Unfortunately, yes. It appears that Curtis had been sending an unmasked signal out into space. By the looks of it the Galra picked up on it and followed it back to Earth.” Iverson answered.

“But it was an accident. He didn’t mean to draw the Galra to Earth. It was a misguided attempt to communicate with or find you and the Paladins. He didn’t purposely betray anyone.” Sam argued.

Shiro raised his hand, “Regardless of the intent, his actions still caused a Galra invasion of Earth and wide scale devastation. His actions brought a war upon Earth that it didn’t have to be involved in and caused a lot of unnecessary death.”

His mind briefly turned to Adam and the memorial wall. Sam sighed and looked down.

“At least let me take part of the blame. It was all because he was part of my project. After I returned to Earth I was determined to find you and Matt and so I started trying to find a way to contact you. Yes, Curtis was the one who thought up the idea to send a signal out and did so but I supported the idea. It’s partially my fault as well.”

Shiro looked down and sighed. He understood Sam’s words but at the same time he really couldn’t excuse what had happened. Iverson remained silent.

“Did you know the signal was going to be sent out? Did you know it was an unmasked signal being sent out?”

Sam sighed, “No. I didn’t know either until the signal was already being sent out. It seemed to be a project of his. But once I found out I did support it. Although I told him to mask the signal which he did. But I guess it was already too late and the Galra had Earth’s coordinates.”

“Iverson, what do you think?”

“It’s a tricky one. On the one hand, he got us embroiled in a war not our own and that we were vastly under-prepared for. We have all lost a lot because of his actions. But he has also shown himself to be effective in battle. He is a skilled navigator and computer scientist.”

Shiro pinched the bridge of his nose as he felt a headache coming on.

“Regardless, we need to come up with a solution.”

Their discussion continued for hours. They talked about every single possibility for what they would do.

* * *

Eventually it was decided that Curtis would be demoted and forced to work the non-essential jobs. Once they were back on Earth, the appropriate consequences could be received. Until then every hand on the ship was needed for the war effort. They would try their best to keep Curtis safe from the others but sentiment towards him had soured as news of his actions spread around the ship. As for those who had attacked him, they had also received a similar punishment but theirs would only last a month while Curtis’ was a permanent demotion.

By the time they finished Shiro’s headache was pulsing. He didn’t know if it was the stress or if his younger self was once again trying to contact him. He figured he’d find out when he eventually fell asleep.

It was long passed curfew but he knew he needed to eat. He grabbed some leftovers from dinner and headed back to his room.

As he sat on his bed the events of the day caught up to him and it sent his mind reeling.

He couldn’t believe what Curtis has done, and he’d never known. No one had. Guilt raced through him at the thought of his own ignorance. He knew he shouldn’t but how could he have not known? How could he have allowed someone like that into his life and heart? How could he have married someone who was capable of that?

He took a couple of bites of his dinner as his thoughts swirled almost incoherently in his head. But it wasn’t long before he felt sick. Nausea overwhelmed him and he bolted for the bathroom. He made it to the toilet and threw up the small amount he had eaten. He retched a couple of times before his stomach calmed down.

He sat on the bathroom floor never more thankful that the captain’s quarters came with an en-suite.

He couldn’t believe he had married the man responsible for the Galra invasion of Earth. It was like the universe was constantly playing some kind of joke on him. Just how much misfortune did he have to endure before the universe gave him a break?

He felt disgusted and disgusting that he had allowed that man into his life.

Tears fell from his eyes as his thoughts turned to Adam. His death had hit him hard and he felt guilty about how their relationship had ended. He had always hoped that the two could’ve worked their way back to being friends or even civil. He had wished Adam had, had the chance to live his life and find happiness. He had no idea what his life had been like after he’d left for Kerberos but he hoped that he had found something or someone that made him happy.

It had been a comfort to know that his death hadn’t been in vain as it had given Earth a slight chance against the Galra. But now knowing that it hadn’t needed to happen at all, hurt. It was like he was starting the grieving process all over again. A life so promising wasted and cut short fighting in a battle that he had no part being in. Adam was only one of countless others who had suffered a similar fates. Everything Earth and its people had endured had been avoidable.

Shiro hugged his knees to his chest and sobbed into them.

He sobbed for Adam, all the people who had died and for the decisions he’d made in his own time. He was so thankful that he had been given this second chance. He couldn’t imagine living with himself if he had found this information out in his own time. Nor could he imagine what he would've done if he had found out.

But he also wondered how he could’ve made those decisions. How could he have been with the man responsible for all that death and destruction? He felt like he had betrayed all those people by being with Curtis. Curtis had gotten to live the life he wanted, a good life, while his actions had caused the deaths of so many.

Did the universe have some kind of sick sense of humour? It wasn’t enough that Shiro had been dying, tortured, experimented on, then actually died and been brought back to life but he also had to have this happen as well? Wasn’t what he’d been through already enough? He cried for all that he had been through.

But what kind of man did that make him? How could he have married the man responsible for the Galra invasion and subsequent genocide of so many? How could he be such a monster? Maybe Haggar really had turned him into a monster. After all, what kind of person got with someone like that?

His thoughts turned to Keith. The only light in his life. He had put Keith through so much. All that he had done for him and how had he repaid him in his time? 

Knowing that Keith had meant the ‘I love you’ at the clone facility romantically was like a punch to the gut right now. Keith had loved him enough to let him go and watched as he had foolishly gotten with someone else. The grief from Keith’s death rose to the surface and Shiro was sure he had never been in so much pain. He couldn’t believe he had made so many bad decisions. Decisions that he now couldn’t understand his reasoning for.

For the first time in a long time he thought about the Keith from his own time. Knowing what he knew now the memories were bittersweet. Knowing that throughout everything Keith had loved him and kept quiet about it, that he had watched as he had married another was a tough pill to swallow. He desperately wanted to drop to his knees in front of him and beg for forgiveness. He wanted to say he was sorry for being so blind and that he wanted to rebuild what they had once had. Thinking about it though it all felt like excuses. There was nothing he could say to make any of it right. Looking back he could see how distant the two of them had formed. There had never been a falling out or argument between them but he could see the distance that had grown between them. They had simply drift

ed apart. Their lives and schedules just didn’t match up so it had been difficult to stay in touch. At least that’s what he had told himself. But had there been other reasons? Had Keith, he, or both of them been putting the distance between them? Had they been pulling away as a way to protect their own hearts?

He didn't know what to make of it all. Everything he thought he knew, everything he thought he felt was thrown up in the air and he had no idea how to put it all back together again.

Speaking of Keith, he really wished he was here right now. He wanted to hold him and tell him just how much he loved him, how important he was and promise to never let him go. He wanted Keith to tell him that he forgave him and that everything was going to be okay.

How could it all have gone so wrong?

He sent out a mental ‘thank you’ to the White Lion for giving him this chance to fix things. He may never be able to fix things with Keith in his own time but he was thankful that he could make things right in this time. He felt a push back at the back of his mind and smiled for the first time that afternoon.

Eventually his cries died down to the occasional hiccup and he knew he had to move. His limbs had grown stiff but he gingerly moved them and made his way to his bed. The sight of the food turned his stomach so he moved it to the floor.

He soon fell into a fitful sleep.

But his demons seemed to torture him more than ever that night. His dreams were filled with scenes where people found out he had married the man responsible for the attack on Earth. Once they found out they ridiculed and belittled him, calling him a monster. After all only a monster could do something like that. Only a monster could love another monster. The worst part of the nightmare was when Keith found out and turned his back on him, he spewed the same hatred as the others in his direction. But no matter how much he apologised or begged everyone turned their back on him. Maybe he really was the monster.

With that he woke up with a gasp. Sweat soaked through his tank top as he struggled to catch his breath. He struggled to maintain control of his breathing as all the insults his dream had thrown at him came back. His stomach rolled violently and again he raced for the bathroom.

He heaved and retched as he emptied his stomach into the toilet. He eventually stopped and slumped next to the toilet. His self-loathing reached a peak as he repeated the taunts and insults his dreams had conjured up.

It was moments like this he wished Keith was here. Just his presence seemed to calm his mind and he really needed that right now. His demons felt stronger than ever and he was beginning to question if all the horrible things he thought about himself were in fact true. How else could he explain that he married the one who caused such destruction. How could he have…? Why did he…?

He didn’t know the answer and looking back he couldn’t understand why he had. This all made him look at everything in a new light and he didn’t like it. He didn’t understand how someone could never reveal that they had done something like that. How could someone do that? How could someone be that selfish?

Maybe he would understand it better when his head wasn’t such a mess and he could think clearly. As much as he wanted to reserve judgement until he had gone through all the facts it seemed his brain had other ideas. He hated it. He hated the power his demons had over him at times. He wanted to have control. He had been doing so well. His therapy had been exactly what he needed and he felt like he was winning against his demons. But it seemed this had thrown that up in the air.

Right now he really wanted Keith. He wanted to fall into Keith’s arms and be told that everything was going to be okay. He almost believed it when Keith said it. Keith’s quiet confidence and unwavering resolve was exactly what he needed right now. He wanted to be reassured that he wasn’t the monster his demons were telling him he was.

He knew that the Paladins were on an important mission and he didn’t want to be the clingy boyfriend, no matter how much he wanted to be by Keith’s side right now. He needed something to distract him. If he didn’t have Keith then he would have to find something else.

He got up and rinsed his mouth out. He washed his face and made his way back to his room. He knew he wouldn’t be getting any more sleep that night so he needed something to do.

He stripped the sweat soaked sheets and changed himself. He then sat on his desk chair and reached for the datapad. If he wasn’t going to sleep he might as well get some paperwork done.

* * *

The next morning he dragged himself to his office and sighed at the mountain of files on his desk. He had skipped breakfast as his stomach was still queasy and he was regretting that decision now. It was going to be a long day.

The note on top of the pile read ‘Potential new navigators. Let me know by the end of the day. Iverson’

Shiro took a deep breath and grabbed the top file. He resigned himself to a day of paperwork.

It was well into the afternoon when Shiro had finally made a decision. It had taken him hours to go through the files and first separate them into ‘yes’ and ‘no’ piles. He then had to go through the yes pile and pick the best candidate.

He messaged Iverson that he had a potential replacement and waited for him to arrive. He was now regretting missing lunch as well as breakfast. His stomach had settled but he still felt uncomfortable.

Iverson entered and he handed over the file. He stayed silent while Iverson read.

“Impressive. She would be a fine addition to the bridge crew.”

Shiro nodded and took the file from Iverson.

“Why do we have paper personnel files on board the ATLAS?”

Iverson shrugged, “After the attack from the Galra it shorted out our electronics. We were left with no records at all. Luckily we were able to get it back but we realised we needed a back up in case our electronics stopped working again. So we now keep paper copies as well. Also more secure believe it or not.”

“Fair enough.” Shiro said as he got up.

With that the two went to tell Cadet Wan that she was now the new navigator on the bridge crew. The squeal she let out Shiro would swear was heard across the ATLAS.

 


	12. Chapter 12

Over the next couple of days Shiro was pleased with the new addition to the crew. She seemed a much better fit and also seemed to know more about navigation, whereas Curtis’ expertise had been on computers.

His stomach still twisted at the knowledge that he had married the man responsible for the Galra invasion but he knew he couldn’t beat himself up. He hadn’t known at the time but it didn’t stop the guilt. He had spoken to Adam multiple times in the last couple of days and apologised profusely.

It had caused the ATLAS to chuckle at him for doing so. But he felt better talking to someone, even if it was just to a picture. It allowed him to release some of the tension he was holding onto. He welcomed the company of the ATLAS as well. Missing Keith and the other Paladins meant there was too much time for his mind to wonder and so speaking to Adam helped keep his mind clear from the self deprecation and the fact he really missed Keith.

He heard nothing from the Paladins for the last few days and it was beginning to worry him. He didn’t want to think the worst case scenario but with his mind already in a negative place he couldn’t help but think up terrible situations that had befallen his friends.

He was almost ready to send out a search party when the ATLAS received a familiar signal.

“Answer it.” He commanded as he stood on the bridge.

Lance and the other Paladins showed up on the screen.

"Paladins, it’s good to see you. What’s your status?”

 “Planet is safe but we ran into a bit of trouble on the way back. But we’re fine and heading back now.” Allura reported.

“Yeah, you would not believe what craziness we had to put up with, with Bob.” Lance interrupted.

“Yeah, Bob. He made us play a game show that he uses to test warriors or something. I’m not too sure but it was confusing.” Hunk said.

“Shiro, you should have seen it. Keith with his fringe tied back which stuck up on his head and a dummy hanging from his mouth. It was the funniest thing I’ve ever since.” Lance laughed.

Shiro was confused. Who was Bob? What had he done to the Paladins? He tried to picture what Lance was describing but he couldn’t imagine Keith with a dummy in his mouth. It was then he noticed that Keith wasn’t on screen with the other Paladins.

“Where is Keith?”

“Oh, he got called away by the Blades. Apparently some kind of signal went out that meant he had to go.” Pidge explained.

Her words didn’t bring comfort though. An uneasiness settled in Shiro’s gut and sat there. Something was wrong. He didn’t find out what until a few hours later when Acxa got in touch with them.

“Acxa, to what do I owe the pleasure?” Shiro greeted.

“Shiro, I wish this meeting were under better circumstances but I wanted to inform you of a new threat.”

“What is it?”

“Zethrid. She has gone insane and means to take revenge on the Paladins.”

“Why? What happened?”

“Ezro wanted revenge on some who had wronged her but her revenge failed. The explosion she caused cost Ezro her life. With her gone Zethrid has lost her way and has descended into madness. She now only wants revenge on those who she believes are to blame for Ezro’s death.”

Shiro felt a chill run down his spine.

“Who does she blame?”

“The Blades and the Paladins.”

“Keith.”

Acxa nodded, “Yes I believe she intends to go after the Red Paladin.”

Shiro’s fear escalated, “What do you think she intends to do with him?”

Acxa shrugged, “I cannot begin to imagine what is going on in her mind.”

“We’re going after them then.”

Acxa nodded and followed Shiro to the bridge. Once there Shiro informed the others what was going on.

“We’ll go with you.” Pidge said.

Shiro shook his head, “No, you’re needed here. Keep helping Allura. Griffin, Kinkade, Veronica you’re with me and Acxa.”

The group nodded and Shiro wasted no time in heading for a ship. The group climbed on and departed from the ATLAS. They headed to Keith’s last known location.

However they weren’t able to get far when they received a signal. Shiro immediately recognised it. It was Keith’s. He relaxed a little at the familiar signal and didn’t hesitate to answer.

“Keith. This is Shiro with Acxa and the MFE pilots report your status.”

“Oh, hey Shiro. Status is good. I’m needed with the Blades so I’ll be out of contact for a while.”

His words set Shiro on edge. But why? This didn’t sound like Keith at all. Then it dawned on him. It wasn’t Keith.

“Zethrid. What have you done with Keith? Where is he?”

He spoke through gritted teeth and he could tell the others were surprised. His words were greeted by a laugh. The mania in it made the hair on the back of his neck stand up.

“Well, Paladin it seems you know the young Blade quite well. But it won’t be enough. By the time you find us, if you do at all, it will be too late.” She finished with a laugh and the message cut off.

Shiro felt like he had been dropped into an ice bath but he couldn’t focus on that right now. He had to get to Keith.

“Veronica track that signal. Tell me where it’s coming from.”

“I’m already on it. It seems to be coming from a planet not too far away. We should be able to get there fairly quickly.”

“Good. Let’s get there then.”

Shiro focused on piloting the ship toward the planet that Veronica had marked on the map.

The crew remained silent as they headed for their destination. As good of a captain as Shiro was they all knew how much Keith meant to him. If any of the stories about what Shiro and Keith had done for each other were true then they knew that there would be nothing to stop Shiro. They were also unwilling to stand in his way.

“So what is the plan once we land?” Acxa asked, breaking the silence.

Shiro thought for a moment. Any move they made would depend on how far Zethrid had gone. He dared not think about the possibility that they were already too late.

“You and I will confront her. She knows us and is more likely to engage with us. As for the rest of you I want you spread around the area. If you see a shot then try to take it. But it will be shoot to injure, not kill. Understood?”

“Understood.”

They approached the planet cautiously and made sure to make as little noise as possible. They disembarked and noticed that Zethrid’s ship was nearby. Hopefully that meant that Zethrid and Keith were nearby as well.

The group spread out and listened for any sign of the pair. As they climbed over a ridge they heard the sound of fighting. They rushed towards it saw that Keith and Zethrid were fighting on a ledge overhanging a lava pit.

Shiro’s stomach dropped when he noticed Keith was in nothing but his undersuit. Where had his Paladin armour gone?

The MFE pilots stationed themselves out of sight and he and Acxa made to approach the pair.

Both heard movement and Zethrid smiled as she used the distraction to sweep Keith off of his feet and then grab him in a headlock. She held him tightly against her as she turned to face their guests. Keith struggled but quickly realised it was no use. She had him in an iron grip. He hoped that while she was distracted he would be able to get himself free.

His eyes widened when he noticed that it was Shiro and Acxa stood in front of them. He struggled some more in Zethrid’s grip but it was no use. She had a strong grip on him that he couldn’t get out of.

“So you found us.” Zethrid taunted as she tightened her grip on Keith. Her focus was on Acxa and Shiro felt himself freeze. What could he do without hurting Keith?

“What do you hope to achieve from this Zethrid? This won’t bring Ezro back.” Acxa stared as she stepped forward.

“DON’T YOU DARE SPEAK HER NAME!”

“What would all this achieve? What do you hope to gain from this?”

“I want you to hurt as I hurt. I want you to experience the pain I am.”

Acxa put her hands up and took a step forward. Zethrid tightened her grip again and took a step back. Keith grunted as her arm pressed against his neck. He was beginning to struggle for breath and he knew he had to do something. He had to get away from Zethrid but he didn’t know how.

“How about I make you feel that pain now?”

Zethrid’s words caused everyone to freeze. What did she mean? She squeezed Keith’s neck tighter and Shiro winced at the pained expression on Keith’s face. He had to do something, but what? He looked around the area but there was nothing he could do without confronting her directly and potentially getting Keith caught in the crossfire.

Shiro took a step forward, “Zethrid I know how you feel.”

“How could you possibly know how I feel?!”

“Do you think you are the only person to lose somebody in this war? The point is I understand. But all this, it won’t bring her back and it won’t make the pain go away. Revenge won’t make you feel better. And Ezro wouldn’t want this for you.”

“How could you possibly know what she wanted? We were enemies. And it’s because of you that she’s gone!”

Shiro quickly realised that they were running out of options. Zethrid was on the edge, figuratively and literally, and he wasn’t sure they could bring her back or that she wouldn’t take Keith with her when she fell over it. Whatever they did they would have to do quickly.

“Maybe I just want you to know the pain I feel.” Zethrid threatened as she pointed the gun at Shiro. Her smile turned sadistic when she felt Keith tense in her arms.

‘ _So the Black Paladin and the Red Paladin are important to each other. More important than I previously thought. Good, I can make them hurt._ ’ Zethrid thought as she kept her gun on Shiro. She took a step back and Shiro felt his stomach drop as she backed up and towards the edge.

Shiro looked around the area trying to figure out a way to get Keith away from her. He just couldn’t figure out a way. He spotted the MFE pilots and they weren’t in a position to stop her without hurting Keith. What could he do? Zethrid didn’t seem to be loosening her grip on Keith anytime soon. He needed to do something soon or it was possible Zethrid and Keith would fall to their deaths.

Shiro caught Acxa’s eye and she nodded. Shiro wasn’t entirely sure what she had planned but he followed her lead. Acxa stepped forward and began to speak.

“Ezro would want you to live, Zethrid. She wouldn’t want you to follow in her mistakes. But you know that we are not responsible for her death. She made a choice. A choice that cost her, her life.”

“SHUT UP! DON’T SPEAK HER NAME! YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT HER! I WON’T LIVE WITHOUT HER AND I WILL MAKE YOU PAY!”

Acxa motioned slightly to him and he stepped behind her. Acxa kept Zethrid occupied as Shiro raised his gun and fired one shot. Zethrid fell back as the shot hit her. Her grip on Keith hadn’t lessened and so he fell back with her. Shiro felt his heart stop as he watched the two of them fall over the edge and head toward the lava beneath them as if in slow motion. He and Acxa raced forward.

Keith knew he was done for. As soon as his feet had left the ground he knew that they wouldn’t get to him in time. At least he got to see Shiro again. As the two fell he felt Zethrid’s grip disappear.

He felt the air rush passed him as he fell when he suddenly came to a stop.

He looked around and saw he was no longer falling. He was still hanging above the lava and he hadn’t landed on anything so how…?

He looked up and saw Shiro’s prosthetic holding his wrist. Shiro’s face quickly appeared over the edge and Keith found himself being lifted upwards. As his head was raised over the ledge he reached for it and with Shiro’s help, pulled himself up.

Once safely on the ledge he felt himself pulled towards Shiro’s chest. It took him a moment to realise Shiro had pulled him close and was hugging him. He wrapped his arms around Shiro as they shifted away from the edge.

With Keith safely in his arms Shiro felt like he could breath for the first time since the Paladins had left the ATLAS. He briefly noticed that Acxa and Veronica were pulling Zethrid onto the ledge and securing her for transport. Turning his attention back to Keith he took the young man in. He was battered and bruised but he was alive.

“You okay?” Shiro asked as his arms tightened around Keith.

Keith nodded and pulled away to stand up. He felt shaky on his legs but Shiro wrapped an arm around his waist and headed back towards the ship, following the others.

Keith’s breaths became laboured as the carbon dioxide rich air began to have an impact. While Keith was part Galra and could withstand tough conditions for a long time, he was also part human and needed oxygen to breath. Shiro felt panic rise as he saw falter.

Not wanting to waste any time he picked Keith up. All he could think was ‘ _Please, please let him be okay._ ’ He moved as quickly as he could with Keith in his arms and prayed he was moving fast enough that the lack of oxygen wouldn’t cause permanent damage.

He breathed a sigh of relief when he spotted the ship and made his way there.

Once at the ship he carefully placed Keith on the ground. He was worried, while Keith was conscious he was losing focus and he knew he was getting sleepy.

Shiro turned to Griffin, “Get me one of the helmets. He needs oxygen.”

Griffin passed him one of the spare helmets and left to check the others. Slowly the rest of the crew filtered into the ship but Shiro paid them no mind as he put the helmet on Keith’s head and watched in relief as his breathing began to even out and he slowly became more aware.

“That’s it baby, breathe for me.”

“Shiro?”

“Yeah, I’m here. Are you okay?”

Keith nodded, “Yeah, much better. Thank you for saving me.”

Shiro smiled, “No need to thank me. After everything you’ve done for me it’s about time I paid you back for some of it.”

Keith smiled and rested his head on Shiro’s shoulder. Shiro wrapped an arm around Keith’s shoulders and settled down on the ground beside him. He let out the breath he didn’t realise he had been holding as Keith relaxed into him.

The rest of the crew kept their distance. The gestures were intimate and they felt like they had intruded on a private moment when they heard their Captain call the Red Paladin ‘baby’. So they got the ship ready for take off allowing Shiro to remain by Keith’s side.

* * *

Once they were back on the ATLAS Shiro had carried Keith to the medical wing. That had gotten him many protests from Keith, who was much more coherent and awake now and wasn’t happy with being carried throughout the halls of the ATLAS.

“Shiro I’m fine. I can walk. I don’t even need to go to the medical wing.”

“Keith, you’ve been in a battle and been deprived of oxygen. You need to be given the all clear. It won’t take long. Just let them check you over.”

Keith huffed but settled in Shiro’s arms. He would feel more embarrassed that Shiro was carrying through the halls of the ATLAS but he was comfortable and still felt slightly light headed, not that he was willing to admit that to Shiro.

They reached the medical wing and Keith was placed on a hospital bed. He folded his arms and huffed but otherwise didn’t complain. Shiro placed a kiss on the top of his head and had a feeling that if it was anyone else than Keith never would’ve made to medical, or if he had he wouldn’t have stayed long. He smiled at the thought which earned him a glare from Keith. He chuckled and settled in the chair next to the bed.

Shiro remained by Keith’s side as the doctors arrived.

They began to prod and poke Keith as they examined his wounds and checked his oxygen levels. Shiro stayed out of the way but could tell Keith felt uncomfortable.

Keith was ultimately given the all clear but they wanted to be sure there were no consequences of the oxygen deprivation. So he was given an oxygen mask and told he was being kept overnight.

The doctor left and Shiro and Keith were finally alone. Keith instantly moved to remove the mask but Shiro was faster and put his hand over Keith’s.

“Keith, you need to keep it on.”

Keith let go and dropped his hand, “I don’t see why. I feel fine. I just need a good nights rest and you know I won’t get that here.”

“I know but you need to keep it on and you’ll be able to leave tomorrow morning.”

Shiro didn’t resist the urge to run his fingers through Keith’s hair. He felt the tension ease out of his shoulders as Keith sat in front of him. All he had wanted these past few days was have Keith next to him but he had never expected it to happen like this.

Shiro continued to play with Keith’s hair as they fell into silence. Keith watched Shiro and knew that something was bothering him.

He reached up and grabbed Shiro’s hand. The faraway look in his eyes left as he focused on the man in front of him.

“Get on.” Keith said as he gestured to the bed and pulled on Shiro’s hand.

“What?”

“You heard me, get on.”

Shiro stared at Keith for a few moments confused. He looked from the bed to Keith a few times before sighing.

“But I’m still in my spacesuit.”

It was a weak excuse and they both knew it. Keith gave him an unbelieving look and pulled him closer to the bed. Shiro climbed on without any resistance and laid down next to Keith, careful to not crush Keith or lean on him too much. He was weary of agitating his wounds.

Keith rolled his eyes at his boyfriend and pulled him closer and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. Shiro was pulled onto Keith’s chest and he settled so that his head rested over Keith’s heart as he laid on his stomach. He made sure the majority of his body wasn’t on Keith’s though. Shiro felt himself beginning to relax properly for the first time since Keith and the other Paladins had left. Tiredness rapidly took over within him and with Keith’s fingers running through his hair his body was ready to fall asleep.

Before he even gave the thought any consideration Shiro had fallen asleep.

* * *

He woke up the next morning a little confused. It took him a moment to realise where he was. The white walls, smell of disinfectant and the warm chest under his cheek all clued him in to being at the medical wing with Keith. The steady rise and fall of Keith’s chest was a much greater comfort than he had realised. He groaned as he realised he had fallen asleep on Keith. His boyfriend leaves for a few days and the first thing he does upon his return is fall asleep on him. He felt fingers running through his hair again and opened his eyes but otherwise didn’t move.

“Are you okay?”

Shiro looked up, “Shouldn’t I be asking you that question?”

“Shiro?”

Shiro sighed and sat up. He had hoped to avoid having this conversation for a while later. He sat with his legs hanging over the edge of the bed. He opened his mouth to reply when the door opened and the doctor walked through.

“Morning, Keith. How are you feeling this morning?”

Keith shrugged, “I feel fine.”

The doctor came over and checked Keith’s vitals. He nodded his head and signed something on the chart.

“Okay. I’m pleased that everything seems to be okay. I’ll get the paperwork so you can sign it and then you can leave.”

Keith nodded, letting out a sigh of relief. He turned his attention back to Shiro who had stood up beside the bed. Shiro smiled at him and leaned down to press a kiss on his forehead. Keith opened his mouth to speak when the doctor returned.

“Sign this and you’re free to go.” The doctor said as he handed Keith a datapad.

Keith did as he was told and handed it back. The doctor nodded and left the two alone. Silence reigned between the two. Shiro knew he should answer Keith’s question but he wasn’t sure how to get the words out. He also didn’t want to say it in front of anyone, despite the fact that most of the ship knew what had happened.

“Want to go back to our room?” He asked as he turned back to Keith with a smile on his lips.

Keith nodded, “Thought you’d never ask.”

The two headed back in silence. Once there Keith headed straight for the shower which gave Shiro time to think about what to say and how to say it. He sat on the bed and tried to figure out how to word what he had to say. Despite the distance between them now, shame still ran through him at the thought of what Curtis had done and how he had let that man into his life. He cringed as he thought of telling Keith the truth. He wondered if he would wonder why he was taking it so hard.

Keith exited the bathroom and made his way over to Shiro. He sat down beside him and put a hand on his shoulder. He squeezed it, letting Shiro know that he was here. He didn’t want to push Shiro to open up so stayed silent.

Shiro took a deep breath but didn’t raise his head to look at Keith, “We found out why the Galra attacked Earth.”

His words stunned Keith, “What?”

“And how they found Earth.”

“How?”

Shiro opened and closed his mouth a few times. His stomach twisted itself into knots as he prepared himself to say the next words.

“Shiro, how did the Galra find Earth?”

“Someone led them here.”

“What?”

Keith’s voice was cold as ice and Shiro couldn’t help but flinch at his tone. He took another deep breath and continued.

“We discovered that someone had sent out an unmasked signal into space. The Galra picked it up and followed it back to Earth.”

“Who sent the signal out?”

“It came from the Garrison. It turned out Curtis had been working with Sam trying to find a way to contact us and so sent out the signal hoping we would pick it up.”

“How did you find out?”

“There was a fight in the mess hall. Some cadets were ganging up on Curtis. I don’t know how they found out but they made their anger known. Curtis was taken into custody and I had a chat with Iverson and Sam. It turns out both of them knew but kept it hidden…”

“Just like they did with Kerberos.”

“Yeah, like Kerberos.”

“What has happened to Curtis?”

“He’s under protected guard. I would throw him in the cells but every person on the ATLAS is needed. So he’s doing the worst jobs we can find. He has constant protection so that he doesn’t get attacked again. We’ll deal with anything else after the war is over and we return to Earth.”

Keith nodded and began to run his fingers through Shiro’s hair. It was something he often did to calm them both down. He also did it when he was deep in thought. Silence fell and the two did nothing more than sit next to each other. Shiro began to feel fidgety the more the silence continued. He wanted to know what Keith thought of it all.

Eventually Keith spoke, “Did they know? Did they know that the signal would bring the Galra to Earth?”

Shiro shook his head, “From what Sam was telling me, no. Their goal was to contact us, not the Galra.”

Keith nodded his head and finally looked at Shiro. He was surprised by the intensity in them.

“They still shouldn’t have done it. Sam had experience with the Galra. He must have known that Earth couldn’t match them technologically. Earth didn’t stand a chance.”

“I know, but what’s done is done. We can’t change the past, we can only focus on the future. Believe me, I don’t like it anymore than you do but we have to focus on the things we can control. Then let them have their punishment after the war has been won.”

Keith nodded and then rested his head on Shiro’s shoulder, “I know but it’s not the first time they’ve done this. First with Kerberos and now this. The Garrison has to change. It can’t cover up what it doesn’t like to escape any consequences.”

“I know, and it will. We’ll make sure of it.”

Keith looked up and leaned in. He pressed his lips to Shiro’s and the kiss quickly deepened. His hand had stopped running through Shiro's hair by this point and it instead cradled the back of Shiro’s head as they both twisted to get a better angle on the kiss. They both poured all their emotions from the last few days into the kiss. The fear, anger, shame and hurt was all poured into the kiss. It was also an opportunity to reconnect after a few days apart.

It wasn’t long before their clothes were shed and ended up on the floor. After all that had happened over the last few days they needed the comfort of the other’s touch. A part of Shiro wanted to go slow but right now he needed the release. He needed his body to recognise that Keith was with him and was okay. Keith needed to be close to Shiro and to know that they were safe.

Neither lasted long and Shiro once again rested his head on Keith’s chest once they had cleaned up and gotten dressed. It wouldn’t be long before someone came looking for them. They were still leaders in this war. But right now they took comfort from one another.

Shiro began to feel the voices in his head quieten as Keith played with his hair again and he wrapped his arms around Keith. The unsettled feeling that had been living in his chest disappeared as he soaked in Keith’s presence. How he had ever lived without this man was beyond him?

Keith began to feel tired as they laid there on the bed. The adrenaline had left his body the night before but he could never rest well in hospitals. Even having Shiro close hadn’t helped. But now they could relax as they held the man they loved close. But Keith's thoughts kept him awake. He couldn’t believe that Curtis could’ve been so stupid to send an unmasked signal into space. And of course the Garrison covered it up. It left a sour taste in his mouth. He really hoped Shiro was right and they could get the Garrison to change. He wasn’t sure what he would do if they didn’t.


	13. Chapter 13

Things on the ATLAS remained tense as people learned and then dealt with the fact that one of their own was responsible for the Galra invasion. The Paladins, too, had been outraged upon learning the truth.

But Shiro still felt guilty. He knew that he was changing things but the fact he had let this man into his life, and introduced him into the Paladin’s lives, had been hard to deal with. He had been struggling to deal with it. He could have really used a session with his therapist right now by unfortunately she was on Earth and he had no way of contacting her.

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He tried to remember some of the techniques she had been teaching him but it was difficult on his own and especially when his demons had become so loud. Like tonight, for example, his demons had been so loud that he was unable to sleep. He had slipped out of bed, careful not to wake Keith, and now stood on the bridge of the ATLAS. He watched the stars pass by as the ship moved forward hoping that watching them would distract him long enough for his thoughts to quieten down and allow him to get some sleep.

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard the doors on the bridge open.

“Shiro? What are you doing up?” Keith asked as he approached. He yawned as he came to a stop beside Shiro.

“Couldn’t sleep.”

The two stood in silence for a while and watched the stars. Keith wanted to ask Shiro what was wrong but didn’t want to push. He knew something had been bothering Shiro since he had been told about Curtis. Everyone had been upset at the news of what Curtis had done but Shiro seemed to be struggling with it more than anyone else and he didn’t understand why. So he waited and hoped that Shiro would open up.

His patience was rewarded.

“I don’t know what I’m doing here.” Shiro whispered as he rubbed his eyes.

“Do any of us?”

“With the war it’s easy, I know the objective. But, am I doing the right thing as Captain?”

“Of course you are. You lead us, inspire us. You are good at your job and the best person for the job.”

Shiro couldn’t help the smile that came to his face at Keith’s words, “I appreciate it but I think you’re a bit biased. No offence.”

Keith smiled back, “I may be biased but I’m not wrong. But where is this coming from?”

Shiro sighed, “Did I do the right thing with Curtis? I mean I let someone capable of _that_ onto the crew and hold an important position.”

Keith folded his arms and turned from the view to Shiro, “Shiro, you didn’t know. None of us knew. We’ve been gone for years and had no idea what was happening on Earth during that time. Even when we came back they didn’t tell us. You’re not clairvoyant, Shiro. There’s no way you could’ve known. It’s not like you knowingly let someone like that on your crew. You can’t beat yourself up for that.”

Shiro closed his eyes and nodded at Keith’s words. He knew he was right but it didn’t make him feel any better.

“I know, but that doesn’t make me feel better. I just feel like I let people down by having him on the crew.”

“Shiro, you can’t blame yourself. The thing that matters is that you did something once you found out. You didn’t ignore it or cover it up, you dealt with it the best way you could.”

Shiro took a deep breath and nodded again. He turned to look at Keith and put a hand on his shoulder, “Thank you Keith. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

Keith stepped forward, “You don’t need to thank me Shiro.”

Shiro smiled and wrapped his arms around Keith, “Still, I feel like I don’t deserve you some days.”

Keith leaned back from the hug but kept his arms around Shiro, “You think you don’t deserve me?”

Shiro let out a laugh, “After all I’ve put you through, you’re so much more than I deserve.”

“You didn’t choose any of it though. Anything I’ve been through because of you was either out of our control or _I_ chose it. And it’s not about deserving one another. I choose to be with you because I love you. Nothing we go through will change that.”

Shiro became overwhelmed with emotion as he listened to Keith speak. He couldn’t believe Keith loved him that much. To be loved like this, especially by someone so good was making his heart swell and feel like it was about to burst with emotion. He cupped Keith’s cheeks and leaned down and kissed him. It was slow and deep and he tried to pour all the emotion he was feeling into the kiss.

He didn’t know how long they kissed but they didn’t go far when they pulled apart and rested their foreheads together. Shiro still had his eyes closed when he felt Keith reach up and cup his own cheeks and stroke his thumbs across them.

“You don’t really believe me, do you?” Keith said with great amusement in his voice.

Shiro smiled, “I’ll get there. It’ll just take me some time.”

“Take all the time you need.”

Shiro let go of Keith but not before placing another kiss on his lips. Keith let go as well and took a step back, with a smile on his face.

“Let’s go back to bed.”

Shiro nodded at Keith’s suggestion and reached for his hand. They walked hand in hand silently back to his quarters. He didn’t know if the nightmares would return but he knew that with Keith by his side he could achieve anything.

* * *

Shiro tried to not let it all bother him so much. Since that night when he had opened up to Keith and he'd been attempting to deal with it and move on. He had to accept that he couldn’t change the past and had to focus on changing the future. Part of this resolve was also to be more open with Keith. He really didn’t want to repeat his own time where he had always chickened out of saying what he really wanted to.

He watched as the ATLAS’ lights slowly shifted to indicate another morning. His nightmares had blissfully left him alone the night before but that hadn’t stopped him from waking up before the alarm.

He looked to his left and smiled as he watched Keith sleep. He enjoyed to watch the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest. It was almost hypnotising. There had been many nights where insomnia or nightmares had struck and he had focussed on the rise and fall of Keith’s chest and found himself falling to sleep. It distracted him because it was proof that Keith was alive.

But he also liked to study Keith’s features. In his sleep his face relaxed and it reminded Shiro how young Keith was as he looked the twenty-one year old he was. Whereas during the day he would act so much older and wiser. Plus it was just nice to see him relax. God, he loved this man.

His attention was taken away from Keith when he noticed his datapad light up. He reached for it and saw a notification. He paused as he read and re-read the notification. He blinked rapidly as his brain processed it.

The word ‘Anniversary’ shone brightly on the screen as Shiro stared at it.

Anniversary? Had he and Keith been together a year? Had he been in the past for over a year already?

A million questions ran through his mind as realised the implications of that notification. He began to wonder if he was successfully changing things. He also wondered how long he had left. He put the datapad down and turned back to Keith.

A year. One whole year. He couldn’t believe that he had been with him for that long already. It seemed like no time had passed at all since he had kissed Keith in front of the Black Lion. But it also felt like forever. He thought back on everything that had happened over the past year; the kisses, the dates, the near misses, the fights. It had been the easiest and hardest period in his life. Living it had been easy. Being with Keith came as naturally as breathing and it was by far the most passionate and strongest relationship he’d ever had. The hard parts came with the self reflection. Realising the mistakes he'd made had been hard to deal with. Seeing the missed opportunities had been even harder. He had struggled to understand why he had ignored blatant signs of Keith’s love for him in his own time and had eventually come to the conclusion that it all boiled down to fear. Fear of losing Keith, of losing what they had and in the end he’d lost Keith anyway.

Now, though? Now he’d gotten to live the best year of his life. He tried to calculate how long he’d actually been in the past. Thirteen months? Fourteen? Fifteen? He wasn’t sure but that sounded about right.

A shuffling next to him drew him out of his thoughts. He looked at Keith again and saw him moving in his sleep. Good he hadn't woken up yet. He couldn’t help but wonder if he should do something for their anniversary. But what could he do with them fighting a war and out in space? Would Keith want to do anything? Would he want anything?

He recalled anniversaries he’d had with others. Honestly he’d only had anniversaries with two people; Adam and Curtis. Both times the first couple of years had been big celebrations. Then the relationships had begun to fall apart. Although the big deal made of anniversaries was more on them than on Shiro. He would’ve been perfectly comfortable to spend the time doing nothing as long as they were together. The big party or fancy meal wasn’t really his style but he had done it for them. He wondered if Keith would want something similar.

Keith had never been big into celebrating anything so Shiro guessed that Keith wouldn’t want a big deal made of their anniversary. Besides there was no time to plan anything and they were due to do a reconnaissance mission today.

Shiro sighed and kept his attention on Keith. As he took in the unruly bed head that was Keith’s hair he couldn’t help the smile that came to his face. He couldn't believe he got the chance to wake up next to him everyday. He smiled as he realised that his Captain's quarters had become their quarters. He had been calling his room 'theirs' for a while and he hadn't even realised it. He felt giddy at the thought that they essentially lived together and hadn't even noticed. The ease with which they existed around each other was a welcome change from his previous relationships. With both Adam and Curtis they had, had to navigate around each other and find space for the other. It had been awkward at first and ultimately fallen apart. But with Keith it had happened so naturally that he hadn't even noticed it had happened. He would be lying if he said he wasn't happy at the idea that this was the start of the rest of his life.

He still couldn't believe it. One year already. What a wonderful year it had been.

Keith was slow to wake but became more aware when he felt eyes on him. He opened his eyes to see Shiro staring at him with a sappy smile on his face. He blushed and smiled back.

“You’re a sap.”

Shiro smiled wider at the husky tone Keith’s voice had when he first woke up and at his words.

“I can’t help it that I have a gorgeous boyfriend and I happen to like the way he looks.”

Keith rolled his eyes and sat up. He stretched and Shiro couldn’t help but stare at the toned lines of Keith’s body. Keith got out of bed and headed to the bathroom. He emerged twenty minutes later freshly showered and dressed.

Shiro had taken the time to get changed himself. He walked up to Keith and wrapped his arms around his waist before planting a kiss on his lips. Keith smiled at the gesture.

“You have morning breath.”

Shiro rolled his eyes, “You’re so romantic, Keith.”

Keith laughed, “You’re in a good mood this morning.”

“I am. I get to wake up to you beside me everyday.”

Keith rolled his eyes again, “Sap.”

“But I’m yours. I love you.”

“You are. I love you too.”

The two shared another kiss.

“What brought this on anyway?”

Shiro smiled as he let go of Keith and reached for his datapad. He lit up the screen and showed it to Keith. He hadn’t gotten rid of the earlier notification so showed it to Keith. He looked at it and his eyes widened.

“We, we’ve…”

Shiro nodded, feeling excited, “Yeah, we have.”

Keith turned to look at Shiro and lunged forward and pressed his lips to Shiro’s. He couldn’t believe it. He’d been with Shiro for a year already. It felt like no time had passed since Shiro had first kissed him in front of Black. Now he got to kiss Shiro whenever he wanted. Their time together ran through his mind. He remembered all the kisses, the affection, the sex and the dates that they had had in the past year. He had never thought that Shiro would love him back, at least not in the way he loved him. To know that not only did he love him the same way, but that he wanted to be with him was a dream come true. Shiro really was everything to him. He had changed his life so many times and in so many different ways. Keith wouldn’t have it any other way.

He pulled back from Shiro when it became difficult to breathe. He rested his forehead against Shiro’s and smiled. This was the happiest he had felt in a long time.

Shiro was glad that Keith was happy and shared that happiness. He pulled away and looked at his datapad.

“We should probably get out of here if we want to get breakfast before the meeting.”

Keith nodded and headed towards the door, but not before grabbing Shiro’s hand and walking hand in hand with him down the corridor.

* * *

It turned out that their reconnaissance mission would take place on a planet that was having a festival. It had been decided that the crew of the ATLAS should get to experience life in the universe. It also gave everyone the chance to relax and have fun. It also gave them the perfect cover for being on the planet.

Once on the planet the crew had immediately split up and gone to discover all the games, food and merchandise that the carnival had to offer. The Paladins and Shiro remained together in a group.

“Okay guys, we need to keep our wits about us. We need to see if we can gather any information that will help us on our search for Haggar.” Keith commanded as he put his hands on his hips.

“Come on, man, relax a little. We’re at a carnival. We might as well have some fun while we’re here.” Lance exclaimed as he put his arm around Keith’s shoulders.

Keith shrugged him off, “We are on a mission, Lance.”

“Yeah, I know. But it’s been all work, work, work for us since we set foot on the ATLAS. We deserve to have a little fun.”

“Lance.”

“You know you could consider it a date. When was the last time you and Shiro went on a date?”

“Not while on a mission.” Keith didn’t understand what was so hard to comprehend. They were on a mission and needed to focus.

“It would be nice to see what has changed about the Clear Day carnival in the last 10,000 years.” Allura added.

“Well, lets check it out then.” Lance said as he pulled Allura away.

“We’ll just, uh, we’ll check over there.” Hunk said with Pidge following behind him.

Keith sighed as the group disappeared into the crowd of carnival goers. It was easy to see that Keith was frustrated and Shiro felt bad for him. He understood that they needed to be focussed on the mission but at the same time he understood that everyone else was excited and was glad to be off of the ship.

“Why don’t we patrol for a while?” He suggested as he touched Keith’s shoulder.

Keith nodded and began to walk with Shiro beside him. They walked in silence for a while and watched the crowd. Shiro began to take note of Keith’s behaviour and realised how out of place Keith looked. Not because he was in Paladin armour but because he seemed to have no idea what to do.

“Have you ever been to a carnival before Keith?” The words leaving his mouth before he had time to ponder whether or not it was a good idea to actually ask the question.

Keith stopped and looked Shiro up and down. He stayed quiet for several minutes which made Shiro nervous. Shiro opened his mouth to apologise but Keith beat him to it.

“No. At least not that I can remember.”

Shiro spotted a stall near them that looked like fun. He grabbed Keith’s hand and pulled him towards it. He began to feel excited about the carnival as he could barely recall it from his own time.

“What do I do?” Keith asked as he looked at the stall. It was some sort of shooting game where you needed to shoot the target. Shiro paid the vendor and picked up the guns. He gave one to Keith.

“You just point and shoot. If you get enough points you can win a prize. Come one, give it a go.”

Keith simply looked between the gun and the targets. Shiro nodded, smiling, and pointed his own gun at the targets. The two of them fired and hit one target after another. Eventually Shiro hit most of the targets. He smirked at Keith who rolled his eyes. The vendor exclaimed he had scored the highest score so could choose any prize he wanted. He looked at the prizes on the shelves in front of him and something on the top shelf caught his eye. He didn’t know what it was but it kind of looked like a hippo, even if it was purple.

“That one.” He said pointing at it. The vendor handed him his prize, “Thank you.”

The two walked away.

“Did you have fun?”

Keith shrugged, “It was alright, I suppose.”

“Here. This is for you.”

Shiro held out the stuffed hippo for Keith. Keith took it dumbfounded.

“Why? You won it.”

Shiro laughed, “It kind of looks like a hippo so I figured you’d like it. Consider it an anniversary present. A cheap stuffed toy and your first carnival.”

Keith blushed and held the toy to his chest. They continued to walk around the carnival. They tried a couple food items and wandered amongst the stalls. They played a few more games and built up a large amount of tokens. They had no idea what to buy with their tokens so they carried them around the carnival. As they wandered they caught sight of the other Paladins, all of whom seemed to be having fun. Shiro smiled at the fact that they all could act their ages, even if just for a little while. It was good to see everyone having fun.

As they walked around Shiro spotted several individuals walking around with lion plushies. He soon spotted the stall and came up with an idea. He got the opportunity to enact it when they crossed paths with Hunk.

“Hey, guys. This place is great, isn’t it?” Hunk exclaimed as he approached them with one arm holding a yellow Lion plushie and holding food in the other hand.

“Yeah. It’s fun. It’s been a while since we got the opportunity to relax like this.” Shiro replied, smiling.

Keith nodded and held his own prize close to his chest.

“Oh, what you got there?” Hunk asked

Keith blushed and explained, “Shiro won it for me.”

“Aww, that’s so sweet.”

Shiro found himself blushing at Hunk’s words and Keith blush even more. Shiro cleared his throat, “You on your own, Hunk?”

Hunk shook his head, “Nah, Pidge is over there by that stall.”

He pointed and sure enough Pidge was at a stall trying, and failing, to win one of the many games the carnival offered.

“But I was wanting to check out the tunnel ride. No idea what it is but it looks fun.” Hunk said excitedly. He was practically bouncing on his feet and the two couldn’t help but smile at his excitement.

“Why don’t you join him?” Shiro suggested as he turned to face Keith.

Keith turned to Shiro in surprise, “You sure?”

Shiro nodded, “Yeah, there’s something I want to check out.”

“Come on, let’s go.” Hunk yelled as he grabbed Keith’s hand.

Keith passed the hippo plushie over to Shiro and followed Hunk to the ride. Shiro smiled as he watched the two walk away. He turned his attention back to the stall that was selling Voltron lion plushies. With Keith’s prize in his arms he approached the stall.

“Voltron Lions! Get your own Voltron lion!”

Shiro stopped in front and eyed the merchandise. He saw only one Red lion left and he knew he had to get it. He waved his arm out to get the attention of the vendor.

“And what would you like today, sir?”

“How much are these?”

“1000 tokens a piece.”

Shiro counted how many tokens he had. 2134, to be exact.

“I’ll take two. One black, one red please.”

The vendor grabbed the aforementioned lions and put them on the counter, “It’s your lucky day, sir. Last Red Lion in stock. Very popular.”

Shiro transferred over the necessary tokens and picked up his gifts. With his arms now full of toys he headed over to the end of the tunnel ride. He couldn’t wait to give these to Keith. He would be lying to himself if he said he wasn’t excited to give his boyfriend another anniversary present. He knew that Keith hadn’t ever been spoiled and he was determined to change that. Plus it was nice to have some kind of reminder of his time as a Paladin. He knew that the Lions wouldn’t be with them forever so it was good to have something to remind him of all of this.

He eventually saw people leaving the tunnel and quickly spotted Hunk and Keith. He approached them and couldn’t resist smiling at the look on Keith’s face. Hunk smiled as well.

“What are those?” Keith asked as he eyed them suspiciously.

“They’re lion plushies. I figured that they could keep the hippo company.” Shiro replied, almost too innocently.

Keith remained silent but Shiro could see his gaze was switching between the stuffed toys and his face.

“Okay, I may have gone a bit overboard but I couldn’t resist when I saw them.”

Keith sighed as Hunk looked confusedly between them, “Why are you getting Keith presents anyway? Not that you can’t, he’s your boyfriend after all but why today?”

“It’s our anniversary. With us being on a mission I kind of took the opportunity to spoil Keith and ran with it.” Shiro explained as he laughed. Keith’s cheeks turned red at his words.

“Aww, that’s so sweet.” Hunk said as he cradled the Yellow lion toy against his chest, “Oh look there’s Pidge. I’ll go see what she’s doing. See you later guys.”

With that he was gone.

Shiro turned his attention back to Keith, “You have fun?”

Keith shrugged, “It was alright. No idea what it was about but Hunk seemed to enjoy himself.”

Keith didn't look at Shiro and instead looked around the carnival. As sweet as it was that Shiro was getting him all these presents, he wanted to get Shiro something as well. It was _their_ anniversary after all. He shouldn't be the only one to get presents. He felt kind of bad that Shiro was getting him things but he hadn't gotten him anything in return. He didn't want this to be a bad anniversary or for Shiro to think less of him because he hadn't gotten him a present. Keith eventually spotted the stall and headed over.

“One Black Lion toy please.”

Shiro caught up with him just as the vendor handed over the toy and Keith transferred the tokens. He picked it up and continued walking until they were in a quieter spot. Shiro followed silently behind him as he wondered what was going on. Eventually they came to a stop and Keith held out the Black lion toy.

“Here.”

Shiro accepted it as he deposited the other toys into Keith’s arms.

“Thank you.”

“It doesn’t feel like enough.”

“This is plenty, Keith. I never thought I would get to experience anything like this and getting to spend time with you was the real treat.”

Shiro could tell that Keith was confused.

“But we spend most days together.”

“I know. It’s just a little bit more special when it’s our anniversary.”

With that he leaned forward and pressed a kiss, or three, or five on Keith’s lips. They parted sharing smiles and spent more time wandering around the carnival. They followed the crowd and entered a large building, whose shadow had covered almost the entirety of the carnival. They heard the crowd before they saw them.

Shiro’s steps began to falter as they drew closer to the crowd. Memories flashed in his mind as he listened to the crowd. They began to chant ‘Champion! Champion!’ and Shiro froze.

Keith noticed that Shiro wasn’t beside him anymore and looked behind him. He paused when he saw the distant look in Shiro’s eyes.

“Shiro?”

Shiro remained as still as a statue.

“Shiro?”

Shiro showed no reaction to Keith’s words. Instead his eyes remained wide and unseeing. Keith cautiously approached.

“Shiro? Shiro, can you hear me?”

After a few agonising seconds Shiro finally responded and turned his head towards Keith. Keith took a step closer.

“Let’s get out of here.”

Shiro swallowed loudly and tried to move. He found he couldn’t concentrate on anything but the thunderous noise of his own heartbeat as he tried to focus on Keith.

Keith approached carefully and grabbed Shiro’s hand before leading him outside. The crowd could still be heard but now what they were saying was incoherent and nothing more than white noise. Shiro gripped the Black Lion toy to his chest as he tried to regulate his own breathing. Keith stood close to him but didn’t really know how to help. He didn’t want to do something that would spook Shiro. He placed the toys on the ground and reached for Shiro but hesitated to touch him.

Shiro focussed on the movement and slid down the wall to sit on the ground. Keith knelt next to him.

“Shiro, can I touch you?”

Shiro eyed him wearily as his brain slowly came back to the present day. He nodded slowly and Keith wrapped his arms around his shoulders. Shiro buries his neck in the crook between his neck and shoulder and took a deep breath. The familiar scent of the pine scented body wash that was Garrison issue filled his nostrils. He let the familiarity wash over him and draw him back to the present. He felt Keith running his fingers through his hair and slowly calmed down.

He slumped against Keith as his body released the tension. Keith’s ministrations stopped and he pushed Shiro up slightly.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Thanks for that.”

They shared smiles and Keith helped Shiro up. His legs felt shaky and he wanted nothing more than to fall asleep. Keith picked up the toys while Shiro clutched the Black Lion toy to his chest. He hated what had just happened. Why did he have to have a PTSD episode now? Why on his anniversary?

“Do you want to try and go back inside?”

Shiro shook his head, not trusting his voice. Keith nodded and turned around. The two walked silently back to their quarters on the ATLAS.

Shiro couldn’t help but feel embarrassed at having had a PTSD episode on his anniversary date with Keith. Why did it have to happen then? Why on his anniversary? He hadn’t had an episode in a while and had foolishly thought that he could get away with not having one while he was in the past. But it did make him think of how he had experienced this before. He remembered not being affected at all by the crowd chanting and had even won the arm wrestling competition that was happening inside.

So what had triggered him this time? Was it because he was getting therapy and so getting better at dealing with his demons? Was it because he was changing things?

Whatever was the cause of this change he didn’t like it.

* * *

They got back to their quarters and Keith set the toys down. His main concern was Shiro but he wasn’t sure how to deal with this. What would Shiro need from him?

The man in question stood awkwardly in the middle of the room. He felt like an idiot. He knew it wasn’t his fault but he couldn’t help feeling like he had possibly ruined this day for Keith. Knowing that this was the first anniversary that Keith was ever experiencing made the feeling worse. He wanted it to be as special as he could make it.

“Shiro are you okay?”

Shiro shrugged and sat down on the bed.

“What’s wrong?”

“I just feel like I ruined the day.”

“Why would you think that?”

“Because of what happened at the arena?”

“Shiro, that wasn’t your fault. You’re bound to be affected by what happened to you while you were held by the Galra. No one blames you for that.”

“But…”

“But nothing. You didn’t ruin our anniversary if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“But…”

Keith shook his head, “I had fun today, more than I was expecting. I wouldn’t change it for anything.”

He leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to Shiro’s lips. He responded immediately as he concentrated on the sensation of Keith’s lips on his. Keith pulled away and smiled. It made Shiro’s heart ache with love for this man.

The familiar scent of ozone filled the air and Kosmo appeared in front of them. Both gave him pets and watched surprised as he sniffed at the toys before gently picking up the hippo. He walked to the corner and cuddled with it. Keith and Shiro smiled at the sight but also felt a bit bad that they hadn’t thought to get him anything.

Keith picked up the Red and Black Lion plushies and set them on the desk. With the prizes Shiro had gotten him out of the way he turned his attention back to his boyfriend.

‘ _I think you meant anniversary presents, not carnival prizes._ ’ His brain supplied as he sat down next to Shiro. He couldn’t help the thrill that ran through him nor the smile that was on his lips as those thoughts came to him. He couldn’t believe it had already been a year. A year with the love of his life and the only one he had ever given his heart to. He leaned in and wrapped his arms around Shiro’s shoulders. Shiro let go of the plushie and mirrored Keith’s actions.

They stayed wrapped around the other for a while and soaked in the comfort of the other being there. Eventually Shiro began to feel bad that he was hiding away in his room while others were working. He pulled away and pressed a kiss to Keith’s lips.

“Thank you.”

Keith nodded. Shiro stood up and put his own prize on the desk next to Keith’s.

“I wonder what the Lions would think if they knew there were soft cuddly versions of them that existed.”

Keith snorted, “I’m sure they’d find it amusing. Do you want to grab something to eat?”

Shiro nodded, “Yeah.”

The two made their way to the mess hall. As they walked the halls they bumped into the rest of the Paladins.

“Hey, there you guys are.” Lance called out, “We were wondering where you went. You could have told us you wanted some alone time.”

Lance wiggled his eyebrows and Keith rolled his eyes in response. Shiro smiled as his cheeks grew hot. He looked at them and noticed that everyone had a plushie of their Lion or in Lance’s case, two Lions - Red and Blue. Allura even had a large Voltron plushie in her arms in addition to a Blue Lion plushie. He chuckled.

“I see everyone got the same prize then.”

They all looked at them.

“Yeah, we couldn’t resist.” Hunk said as he hugged the Yellow Lion to his chest.

“Us either.” Shiro said as he laughed again.

“I’m surprised Keith got one.” Lance stated. Keith huffed and folded his arms.

“Shiro got them for me as an anniversary present.”

“ANNIVERSARY!?”

The chorus of yells that followed had Shiro nervously scratching the back of his head.

“Yeah it’s our anniversary.” He explained.

“And why didn’t you say anything?”

“We needed to do that mission and we didn’t want a big fuss.”

Shiro hoped they bought it. He wasn’t sure he wanted to deal with their reaction to finding out that both he and Keith had forgotten until that morning when his datapad had reminded them.

“Fine But next year you’re getting a party. Even if it’s just a convenient excuse for us to have one.” Pidge stated as she glared at them and was already putting the date into her calendar.

“Of course.”

Shiro felt nervous for what the Paladins would plan for them. Even if their anniversary was an excuse as Pidge had said, he wasn’t sure a big party was something either he or Keith would really enjoy. Maybe by next year he could convince them not to have it on their actual anniversary.

The Paladins left, conspiring and formulating plans. Shiro turned to Keith after they rounded the corner and both burst out laughing.

“What have we gotten ourselves into?”

Keith shrugged, “You never know with them. At least the food will be good if Hunk’s cooking.”

The two continued on their way to the mess hall. Shiro held Keith’s hand all the way there and thought to himself that this had been the best anniversary he’d ever had, even with the earlier attack. Made even better by the fact he and Keith spent most of the night making love. He wouldn’t change a thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back with a new chapter. Getting the end of this chapter out felt like trying to get blood from a stone. Hopefully the next chapter is a little easier.


	14. Chapter 14

The weeks following the carnival were hectic as the crew worked hard to figure out their next move. Voltron and the ATLAS attempted to help anyone who asked. They also helped the Blades and the Rebels whenever they could.

Shiro sat on his bed in a rare moment of downtime. He had been ordered to rest and relax, by Veronica no less, as he had worked for seven days without rest. He knew he should organise his time better but he wanted to help as many as he could. The calls for help seemed never ending. Despite the fact he knew he couldn’t help them all; it didn’t mean he wasn’t going to try his hardest to help as many as possible. When he tried to explain this he had been, quite literally, shoved out of the ATLAS’ bridge and sent to his room. It had made his feel like a scolded child.

Now he found himself without something to do. Keith was busy with the Paladins so he couldn’t entertain himself the way he normally did.

He got up and decided to have a rummage through his room. He hadn’t ever properly gone through the things he had left behind on Earth. What had surprised him was that these things had been added to his room on the ATLAS. He’d never had the courage to go through them before but with nothing but time on his hands, why not now?

He went to his closet and found two boxes. He pulled the first one out and opened it.

On top was his old leather jacket. He pulled it out and knew immediately that it wouldn’t fit. A year in the arena and then more time as a Paladin had meant he had gained a lot of muscle. He wondered if Keith would want it. He hoped so.

The next few items were trinkets he had collected during his time at the Garrison. Certificates, a couple of trophies, and a model of the Kerberos ship. He smiled at the memories of his training for the Kerberos mission. He and Matt had had a lot of fun and Sam had even joined in a couple of times. The training had been hard but it had been worth it. He would never forget the joy he felt as the ship had taken off. Nor the awe when they had landed and taken their first steps on the moon.

He put them all to one side and returned to the box. He noticed a couple of photographs. He picked them up and felt his stomach drop. It was a picture of himself and Adam after it was announced he would pilot the Kerberos mission. Adam was in civilian clothing and Shiro was in his Garrison uniform. Adam’s hand was on his shoulder while he made the peace sign with his other hand. They looked happy. But really, this had been the beginning of the end.

He remembered his relationship with Adam fondly even if he hated how it had ended. He understood Adam’s concern but he had felt so babied by it. The two had never been the best at communicating, and that had only gotten worse as the Kerberos mission got closer. He ran his fingers over the photo. He hoped that he found happiness after he left.

He still mourned for Adam. Despite how happy he was with Keith there was a part of him that mourned that Adam didn’t get to live his life. He had deserved to no matter how their relationship had ended. He would make sure that he would live his best life and make sure Haggar was defeated. He wouldn’t let Adam’s death be in vain.

He kissed the photo and put it down gently, “Goodbye Adam. I’m sorry we never got to say it properly.”

He picked up the second photo and saw it was a picture of the Holt family. He smiled. The Holts had been like family to him for a long time. They had taken him in and treated him like a second son and he couldn’t be more grateful.

His parents had died when he was very young and he had been raised by his grandfather. He had done everything he could to provide for Shiro and help him achieve his dreams. His memories of his grandfather were bittersweet. He had loved his grandfather dearly and had great memories of growing up. It was his death that hurt still.

And three months later he had met Keith. There was a part of him that wondered if his grandfather had sent Keith to him. Keith; the one who would become his everything, his love, his soulmate and his best friend. He hoped his grandfather at least knew he found someone who made him happy.

He looked at the photo again and noticed something, or rather someone in the background. He studied it and realised it was him and Keith. It was when he had taken Keith to the Kerberos launch and was showing him the ship. He vaguely recalled explaining something about the ship to Keith at the time. He smiled at the memory.

He put the photograph down and looked in the box. It was empty. He packed everything away, but left the Holt family picture out and carried the box to closet. He slid it to the back and pulled out the second one. Inside were a few more clothes and books. He put the clothes in a pile and promised himself that he would donate them. If his leather jacket wouldn’t fit, his other clothes certainly wouldn’t.

He looked at the books and noticed they were a mixture of textbooks and novels. He put all but two of the textbooks in the donate pile. One he kept was a textbook that he had doodled and made notes in, the other was his yearbook. The novels were a bit more difficult to go through. War didn’t exactly leave much time for reading and he wondered if he would still enjoy them as he had before Kerberos.

One in particular caught his eye. It was well worn and clearly had been read multiple times. He smiled as he lifted it from the box. It was his favourite novel. It flipped it over and read the synopsis that he had once been able to recite in his sleep.

* * *

‘ _Brought together by convenience Ben and Clara have been living together. It’s taken months but now the two are finally getting along after existing in different social circles. However Ben soon discovers he had fallen for Clara. Fearful of rejection he keeps his newfound feelings a secret. He would rather have Clara in his life as a friend than not at all so he says nothing and is happy with their friendship._

_But he soon finds out his love is killing him. Literally. It's Hanahaki disease. A disease he had thought didn’t really exist. But he had read enough stories to know how it worked. He would need surgery and forget all about Clara or he could risk confessing. What would he do? And what would be Clara’s reaction?’_

* * *

It was a cheesy romance novel but Shiro had loved it as a teenager. The lengths that Ben had gone to conceal his secret and keep Clara as a friend had been riveting. If he was being honest it had been this novel that had largely shaped his views on romance. With free time on his hands he packed up the things he was keeping and sat on his bed to read ‘The Root of it All’.

He opened the book and delved into the familiar world.

He lost track of how much time passed. The world was as magical as he remembered at he felt good about having a positive piece of his past to connect to.

But that all changed when he got about half way through the book. He got to the part where Ben now knew he had the disease and Clara had just gotten a boyfriend. As he read the words he felt his stomach twist. The words on the page described how Ben supported Clara and helped her with her relationship woes. He remained content to be her friend and see her happy even if that happiness came with someone else. He spoken nothing on his feelings or sickness.

Shiro felt dread come over him as he recognised Keith in Ben’s words and actions. It was the lengths that both would go to to ensure the happiness of the one they loved even when it was at the expense of themselves. To see why someone would do it written in black and white was hard to see.

He continued reading and felt worse as the book continued. He finished the last page and put the book down. He wiped his face with his human hand and pulled it away to find it wet. He had no idea that he had been crying. It reminded him far too much of his own time.

He couldn’t believe that someone loved him that much. To know that Keith had put aside his own feelings just for the sake of his happiness. As he looked back at the distance between the two he could see where Keith had possibly made decisions similar to Ben. How he had stepped away so he could be happy, or maybe because it had hurt too much to know that he had chosen to be with someone else. Shiro was overwhelmed with guilt.

If he hadn’t been so stuck in his head, so afraid, if he had just dealt with his guilt maybe all this could have been avoided and this could have been his reality in the first place. He wanted to apologise to his time’s Keith again. But he couldn’t. All he could do now was do things right with this Keith and he would absolutely make sure he did.

He dried his tears and put the book on the shelf. It was humbling to know just how much Keith loved him. He wasn’t sure he deserved it or that he ever would. How could he do enough to be worthy of Keith’s love?

A knock at the door grabbed his attention.

“Come in.”

His door opened to reveal Allura. He studied her figure for a moment and was surprised to see she appeared nervous. His protectiveness towards his team flared in that moment.

“Hi, are you alright?”

Allura stepped inside and nodded.

“Oh yes, quite alright. It’s just that, umm…well, you see…”

“Allura, why don’t you take a seat?”

She nodded and sat on the desk chair, “Yes, thank you.”

Allura looked around the room and opened and closed her fists as she tried to figure out a way to say what she wanted to say. Shiro remained silent as he waited and took a seat on the bed. He had no idea what it was that Allura would come and talk to him about alone. Allura opened and closed her mouth a few times before sighing.

“Shiro, with what I’m about to tell you, can you promise me that it will remain between us? That you will tell no one, not even Keith.”

Shiro was shocked at her words. It must be pretty serious if he had to keep it from Keith. Though he wasn’t sure how he felt about keeping a secret from the team. He also wasn’t sure he would be able to keep the secret from Keith but he was willing to try. Allura was his friend and he wouldn’t betray her confidence.

He nodded, “Of course. Whatever you tell me remains between us and doesn’t leave this room.”

Allura nodded and let out a shaky breath.

“Well, it’s just that, you see…I’ve, well, I’ve been having strange dreams. Dreams that I now believe to be visions.”

“What’s in these dreams?”

Allura blushed, “Lotor.”

“Lotor?”

Shiro was surprised to hear that. Allura nodded and the blush remained on her face.

“Yes. He appears in my room and talks about the powers of the Lifegivers.”

“The powers you acquired in Oriande?”

“Yes. He talks about them as healing powers that are just as capable of destruction.”

“And you believe him?”

Allura nodded again, “Yes I do. Lotor was a lot of things but he wasn’t a liar, at least not to me. He may have omitted several truths but that is not the same as lying. Besides he was much more knowledgeable about Oriande and the powers of the Lifegivers than I am.”

Shiro nodded and tried to digest what he was wearing.

“What do you think is the reason for these dreams? Why do you think they are visions and not dreams?”

“I don’t know the reason for them but the energy I feel from them is different to what I experience when I dream. They feel more real. It’s almost like Lotor really is in my room.”

“You want to find him.”

It was a statement, not a question. Allura’s blush deepened and she kept her eyes on the ground and her fists clenched as she nodded.

“Problem is I wouldn’t know where to start looking. There’s no way we can return to the quintessence field. I don’t even know if he’s still there. I'm not even sure he's still alive. You don’t hate me for this, do you?”

Shiro smiled, “Allura, I could never hate you. We do crazy things for the people we love.”

Shiro instantly thought back to the things that he and Keith had done for each other. He noticed Allura shifting uncomfortably in front of him.

“Have you talked to Lance about this?”

Allura shook her head, “I don’t know how to. I mean, how do I?”

Shiro felt bad for her.

“I would suggest being straightforward with him. It’ll be better that way.”

Allura sighed and her shoulders slumped, “That’s part of the problem.”

“What do you mean?”

“How do I tell my boyfriend I’m having dreams of my ex? How do I tell him that?”

“You’re going to have to eventually. It’ll be better coming from you. He deserves to know the truth. Unless you don’t want to tell him.”

“I don’t know. I want to avoid conflict but I know I need to tell him. He’s going to find out when…”

“When what?”

Allura looked down at the ground, “I want to find him and bring him back if I can. I need answers that I feel only he can give them to me. I need to know if he's still alive.”

“Are you sure that’s the best idea? Especially after what he did.”

“I don’t know. But he knows more about Oriande and the Lifegivers than anyone. He could be the key to defeating Honerva. We need his help.”

“Allura…”

Shiro was unsure of what to make of all of this. He remembered the accusations Lotor faced about what had happened at the colony. But then he also remembered Allura’s words to him in the future. Lotor had been meant for something bigger. He would be needed to play a role in this universe. Evidently Lotor's time wasn't up yet. He looked at Allura and could see the war she was having with herself.

He sighed and nodded, “Okay. If you want to find out what happened to him then I’ll support you. It won’t be easy but if you feel that this will give us the advantage then we can explore it. But I have to warn you, your feelings for Lotor will be called into question.”

Allura nodded, “I know. I’m prepared for it.”

“Are you? I know you are with Lance but people will want to know why you’re so insistent on finding and saving your ex, especially considering who he is and what he’s done. This will test the strength of your relationship with Lance, maybe beyond its limits.”

Allura nodded again, “I know.”

She sighed and looked at him with tears in her eyes, “I just don’t know what to do. I love Lance, I do but…”

“You feel for Lotor as well.”

Allura nodded, “I feel this pull towards him that I’ve never felt with anyone else. He understands so much; from the expanded lifespan to Altea to these alchemy powers. He may have done terrible things but I just feel like we need to save him.”

Shiro felt bad for Allura. He understood where she was coming from. But he also knew that you have to be honest with yourself, especially with matters of the heart. He had learned that the hard way.

“Is that all? I know it’s unfair to ask but is that all you feel for Lotor?”

Allura fidgeted nervously in her seat. She shook her head and looked down.

“I love Lance, I do. I want to make things work with him, I want to be with him.”

Shiro’s heart went out to her. While he had never encountered a similar situation, he had seen similar situations and knew that it would get messy. Someone was going to get hurt.

“I know. The best advice I can give you is follow your heart. Maybe take some time away from both guys and focus on yourself to figure out who you really want. I understand that loving two people is hard but you have to do what best for you when it comes to this sort of stuff.”

Allura nodded her head and stood up. She wiped her eyes and turned towards him with a smile.

“Thank you Shiro, for everything. I believe this has helped.”

He stood up as well and smiled, “Of course. I won’t tell anyone until I get the okay from you.”

Allura bowed her head in thanks and stepped towards him. She wrapped her arms around his waist. He followed suit and couldn’t be more thankful that he had gotten this chance to make things right. But the good feelings didn’t last long.

Allura suddenly pulled back and gasped before glaring at him.

“Who are you? What have you done with Shiro?”

His face fell, “What?”

“I won’t ask a second time.”

“I am Shiro.”

“No you’re not.”

“Yes I am.”

Shiro sighed, knowing he had been caught. Thinking about it, he realised that was the first time he had touched Allura since he had come back to the future. He should have realised that she would figure it out. He remembered the warning that he had been given and hoped that if he revealed the truth to Allura then it would be the one exception and it would be okay.

“I am Shiro, I swear.”

He held out his human hand, “You saw something when you touched me. Touch my hand and you’ll see I really am Shiro.”

Allura continued to glare at him but stepped forward. She hesitantly took his hand and held it between her own. She closed her eyes and focused feeling secure in the knowledge she could fight him if she needed to. It wasn’t long before flashes of images played out in her head. She saw bits and pieces of the future he had lived. She saw joy, sorrow, despair as well as victory. She dropped his hand with a gasp and tears began to spill down her cheeks.

“Shiro?”

He nodded sadly as he let his hand fall by his side. Allura stepped forward, holding her hands together in front of her.

“I am so sorry. You have been through so much.”

He smiled sadly, “But I’m here now. I need to make things right and I will. If it’s the last thing I do.”

Allura took another step forward, “Tell me everything.”

Shiro shook his head, “I’m not sure I can. I was warned not to and I don’t want to risk any of my future happening.”

Allura smiled, “It’s okay. You can tell me.”

Shiro nodded and sat down on the bed, slumping as he did so. Allura sat next to him and put her hand on his back. She couldn’t help but notice that it seemed as if a heavy weight suddenly rested on his shoulders. She had only seen flashes of his future but it was enough for her to believe that he had no ill will towards them. Whatever had happened in this Shiro’s future must have been terrible for him to want to come back and change it. She felt for him as she sat beside him. Shiro looked at Allura from the corner of his eye. He didn’t want to tell her about her own fate but with the sad flint in her eye he guessed she may have found out by whatever it was she saw.

“We won the war but we lost so much, too much. It seemed like without the common enemy we all drifted apart, like there was nothing keeping us together anymore. We all went in different directions and we barely talked apart from the memorial dinner. But it wasn’t just that. I don’t know what happened or why but I guess, I just, I didn’t know how to cope. I made so many mistakes, especially with Keith. Before I knew it we hadn’t talked in months and lived different lives. It was like we became strangers. I made worse mistakes and by the time I realised it I had lost him completely. To tell you the truth, we were all miserable after the war. So when the opportunity rose that gave me the chance to change it, I grabbed it with both hands. Since coming back I’ve done everything I can to make things right, especially with Keith.”

“You’d really do all that for Keith?”

Shiro nodded, his gaze fell to the floor, “Yes.”

Allura smiled, “You really love him, don’t you?”

“I do. He’s my everything. I don’t want to live in a universe without him, I couldn’t. I just hate that it took me far too long to figure it out. It shouldn’t have because I knew the truth deep down. I have to make things right. I have to make sure my future doesn’t happen.”

“You’re really willing to do all this for Keith? All because you love him?”

“Yes. He’s worth all this. But it’s not just Keith. We all deserve better. We’ve been through so much and it’s only fair we get the chance at a happy life. The mistakes we made in my time were so great that it didn’t feel like we won at all. But things will be different this time. But can I ask that you tell no one, not even Lance or the mice.”

Allura stood up and looked down at Shiro as he looked up at her, “I believe in you. I know you will do everything in your power to make things right. I won’t tell anyone, I promise. Can you also keep what I told you a secret?”

Shiro nodded, “Of course. Nothing leaves this room but I do suggest speaking to Lance first about all this before you speak to the team.”

“Thank you Shiro.”

With that Allura took her leave. As the door closed behind her he was left in silence. His head was spinning and he didn’t know what to make of what had just happened. One minute he was reading an old book and contemplating just how much Keith had done for him and the next Allura had discovered the truth and wanted to save Lotor.

He took a deep breath and laid down as he tried to process what had happened. He knew that Lotor needed to be saved but he wasn’t sure they would be able to get others to agree. He didn’t envy Allura’s situation at all. It was difficult to be in love with two people at the same time and know that they both loved you back. He hoped that she could figure it out without too much hurt for any of the parties involved.

His thoughts turned to Keith. What he had said to Allura was definitely true – he was doing all of this for Keith. Keith deserved to live his life and be happy. But the Paladins also deserved to be happy. Happiness seemed to be something difficult to obtain in his own time.

He hoped he was changing that but he knew one thing, he wasn’t going to give up.

He just hoped that there wasn’t a lot of fallout to all the changes he was making.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went through and edited this fic before uploading the new chapter. After re-reading my draft it felt needed. I'm much happier with it now.
> 
> I am also writing a companion piece to this fic which will focus on Allura. Writing about things that were happening to her vaguely to focus on Shiro and Keith felt wrong so I decided I needed to expand on it. I'm not sure when it will be out but I am working on it.

Shiro didn’t hear anything from Allura about what they had spoken about for several weeks. In fact Shiro had nearly forgotten about it. His focus returned to his original mission. But it didn't mean it wasn't nice to have someone to talk to. He and Allura had, had a number of conversations about possible moves forward. Shiro hadn’t wanted to reveal too much but wanted to help and figured he could give Allura hints on the right course of action. But he had no idea if they were of any help. He would have to wait and see. He just hoped he didn’t screw things up to a worse degree by revealing this information.

He got his first chance to see if this was the case when they encountered a robeast. Unfortunately the ATLAS had to remain in orbit around the planet while Voltron descended to assist with a distress call.

He waited with his crew to hear word from Voltron when suddenly the mecha shot out of the planet's atmosphere with not one but two robeasts behind it.

“Voltron to ATLAS. We require immediate assistance. We can’t take two robeasts on at once.” Keith’s voice said over the comms. Shiro could tell from the strain in his voice that there had already been a hard battle on the planet’s surface.

“Affirmative Voltron. We’re ready. Battle stations everyone.”

Everyone immediately moved into gear as alarms blared for non-bridge crew to get to safe places designated for these occasions.

“Weapons check?” Shiro asked as he took his place at the helm.

“Weapons ready.” Coran replied. He barely finished his sentence when the ship began to move and shake.

“What’s going on?” Veronica asked as she held onto her console.

“The ATLAS is transforming. She’s responding to Voltron’s distress call on her own.” Shiro asked as he braced himself.

“Can’t you control this ship?” Iverson asked as he gritted his teeth.

“Not all the time. She has her own consciousness. Much like the Lions so she can do as she wants when she wants.” Shiro replied.

The transformation was quickly over and the ATLAS sped towards Voltron who was trying to outmanoeuvre the two robeasts. ATLAS blasted the smaller robeast causing one of its boosters to fail. The ship then propelled its entire mass into the stricken robeast and sent it tumbling into the planet’s atmosphere. The crew of the ATLAS watched as it appeared to burn up in the atmosphere.

“Voltron, what’s your status?” Shiro asked as the ATLAS searched the stars for Voltron.

“Bit preoccupied at the moment.” Came Lance’s reply. His voice was strained as the sounds of blasts hitting Voltron sounded over the channel.

“What can we do?” Shiro asked as his fists closed.

“Unfortunately nothing. We got blasted back onto the planet. The ATLAS is too big to help.” Keith said as he struggled to maintain control.

“Scan for lifeforms and check for the fallen robeast. We don’t need the second robeast on our tale.” Pidge called out before yelling.

“Katie!” Sam yelled, standing up from his seat.

“I’m okay. We’ve had worse. But these robeast seem different from the others. This one in particular seems more powerful. Whatever Hagar is doing she seems to be giving them an upgrade. Ahhh…”

The other Paladins screams could be heard for a brief second before the channel cut off.

“Katie! Katie!”

“Lance!”

A stunned silence hung over bridge crew. Shiro stood as still as a statue as the fear of losing Keith swept over him. He didn’t know what to do. But the ATLAS did. The ship focused its attention on the planets surface and began scanning for the fallen robeast.

It took a few moments for the shock to dissipate on the bridge and Shiro shook his head to clear the daze.

“Try and establish contact with Voltron.” He ordered.

It was then he felt something like felt like a purr in the back of his mind. The sound brought tears to his eyes. He hadn’t felt that in so long. He pushed back against it and felt a response. He smiled and placed a hand over his chest.

“Black.” He whispered under his breath.

Feeling her presence in his mind once again was a blessing and a relief. He didn’t realise how much he had actually missed her until that moment. Feeling her calm presence in his mind reassured him that the Paladins were okay. He let go of the breath he’d been holding and focused his efforts on the task at hand.

ATLAS continued scanning when they hit upon something.

“Is the channel open yet?” Shiro asked.

“Shiro?”

Shiro breathed a sigh of relief when he heard Keith’s voice.

“Keith, thank God. We lost touch with you. What’s your status?”

“We’re a bit beat up but otherwise alright.”

“What happened to the second robeast?”

“Don’t know. It took off. We’re making our way back to the ATLAS now. Any news on the other robeast?”

“Yeah the ATLAS picked something up about 10 degrees north and about 100 miles from your current position. Go and check it out. If Haggar really is upgrading the robeasts we need to know what we’re fighting.”

“Sure. We’ll redirect and see what we can find.”

“Affirmative. We await your call.”

“Roger.”

The channel closed once again and everyone on the bridge let out sighs of relief. Now all they could do was wait. The crew tracked Voltron’s movements and it was over an hour before they got word that they were on their way back.The crew made their way down to the hangars as the Lions entered bringing the fallen robeast with them, or parts of it at least.

The Paladins disembarked and were immediately accosted by hugs. Coran wrapped his arms around Allura while Veronica made her way over to Lance. Sam and Matt went to Pidge while the MFEs made their way over to Hunk. Even Shiro hugged Keith when he was in arms reach. The relief was palpable in the area.

“You scared us for a second there.” Coran explained as he let Allura go.

“Don’t ever do something like that again!” Veronica chastised as she hit her brother’s arm. He recoiled and rubbed it as he stuck his tongue out at her.

“Just give a warning next time.” Shiro suggested as he kept his arm around Keith. The fear of losing him was slow to recede and he needed to keep him close.

Allura turned her attention to the robeast remains, “What are we going to do with this?”

Pidge walked up to it with Hunk by her side. She pulled out a datapad before turning back to everyone.

“Hunk and I can check it out. We’ll let you know what we find.”

With that she and Hunk huddled over the datapad and whispered to each other.

“Let’s debrief, shall we?” Shiro suggested as he let go of Keith to grab his hand. Keith and the others nodded and started to head towards one of the meeting rooms.

Shiro felt Keith squeeze his hand and he returned the gesture. He looked beside him and placed a quick kiss on top of Keith’s hair. The two shared a smile and followed everyone else.

Once inside Shiro let go of Keith’s hand and sat at the head of the table. Keith took the seat closest to him while Lance and Allura sat beside him. On the other side of the table sat Iverson, Sam and Coran.

“So fill us in on what we missed.” Shiro said.

“We headed towards the distress call but it appears to have been fake. A ploy to draw us out. Once there we were attacked by the first and smaller robeast. We were handling it when the second one appeared. That’s when we exited the planets atmosphere. When you dealt with the smaller one we focused on the larger one. Back on the planets surface it was a tough fight…” Keith replied but was cut off by Lance.

“Tough fight? Please, it was kicking our butts. It caused Voltron to come apart. But that wasn’t the weirdness thing. It attacked each of our Lions individually but when it went to attack Allura and Blue it paused. Almost like it was hesitant to attack.”

“That gave us the opening to attack it.”

“Did you defeat it?” Sam asked

Keith shook his head, “No. Once we began to have an advantage and formed Voltron again, it left.”

“Strange.” Sam replied.

“Strange indeed. Whatever Haggar is planning, I hope we can get an idea from the remains of the robeast. Hopefully we have time to study it before this other one attacks again.” Coran said as he stroked his moustache.

“Okay I think that’s everything for now. We’ll focus on what we can learn from it.” Shiro stared as he stood up. Everyone followed suit.

It hadn’t been lost on him that Allura had remained silent throughout the meeting. It seemed she was thinking about something but his attention had been drawn to her. He hadn’t wanted to call attention to it but knew others had noticed. The look on her face never left his mind as it seemed familiar. It wasn’t until he was back in his room to freshen up did he recall the look on Allura’s face. It was the exact same expression she had when she had told him about her visions of Lotor.

Shiro didn’t know what to make of it. Just because she had the same expression didn’t mean it was connected. But could it be? He didn’t have to wait for an answer.

A knock sounded and Shiro opened the door. He was surprised to find Allura on the other side.

“Can we talk?” She asked almost timid.

Shiro nodded, “Of course.”

He stood to the side and allowed her to enter. She once again sat in his desk chair while he took a seat on the bed. The scene was eerily reminiscent of when she had told him about her visions. Silence permeated the room as he waited for Allura to speak.

“I think I know why the robeast didn’t attack me.”

“Why?”

“Because it recognised me.”

“What?”

Allura shook her head, “I don’t know how to explain it, but it felt like it was looking at me. It stopped when it saw the Blue Lion. It seemed to recognise it. It actually powered down for a few seconds.”

Shiro waited to speak as it seemed Allura hadn’t finished. She sighed and rested her fists on her knees as her gaze focused on the floor.

“I think it had something to do with Lotor. I think he has something to do with that mecha.”

“What makes you say that?”

“It felt like it was calling to me. I had a feeling similar to the one I get with the visions of Lotor.”

A pregnant pause occurred before Allura let out a slow breath, “I think Lotor may be alive.”

Shiro was shocked. He wasn’t expecting to hear that.

“What? What makes you think that?”

Allura remained quiet. She seemed to be weighing her options. Shiro waited patiently.

“It’s just a feeling.”

“Seems like more than a feeling.”

“I don’t know how to describe but I ask that you trust me on this. There’s more going on that I can’t figure out but I know that he’s out there. I don’t think he died when we left him in the quintessence field.”

“I do trust you Allura. If you feel this strongly then I’ll support you. But we need more than your feelings. Lotor hurt a lot of people and it’ll take a lot of convincing to get people to even consider the notion of working with him.”

Allura looked down at the floor, “I know, and so I cannot tell you how grateful I am that you are trusting me with this at all. I know this all sounds crazy but I really do believe it’s our best shot at defeating Honerva once and for all.”

Shiro nodded. He didn’t really know what to make of it all but he trusted Allura. He also knew that Lotor would be needed. It was going to be a fight to convince anyone else that this was a good idea.


	16. Chapter 16

Shiro and Allura were interrupted by their comms going off. They beeped insistently before Shiro pulled out his datapad and accepted the call. Pidge’s face appeared on the screen.

“Hey Pidge, What can I do for you?”

“You are not going to believe what we found! Can you find Allura and come to the medical wing? I've already contacted everyone else. They should be on their way.”

“Sure. Everything alright?”

“I have no idea. It’s good, I think, but boy, are you going to be in for a surprise.”

She hung up and Shiro and Allura were left in silence. They looked at each other confused for a moment before heading out the door. They had no idea what to expect. Why were they needed in the medical wing? Was whatever Pidge had discovered really a good thing?

It didn’t take long to get there and everyone had already arrived. The Paladins, the Holts and Iverson all stood waiting for him and Allura. It was clear Pidge hadn’t told anyone but Hunk and Coran what was going on because everyone had the same perplexed expression on their faces. No-one knew what to expect. Pidge had sounded excited and apprehensive so they were prepared for anything.

“What is this about?” Shiro asked as he joined the crowd.

Pidge turned her attention to him, “You would not believe what we discover inside the robeast! Coran and Hunk know because they were there but I’ll let the rest of you see for yourselves.”

Coran led everyone into a room similar to the one that the Paladins had been in when Shiro had received his new prosthetic. Through the window they could see a group of doctors crowding round a bed.

“Coran, what is the meaning of this?” Allura asked.

Coral said nothing but tapped the window. The doctors turned to their audience and nodded before moving away. Collective gasps were let out from the group as they saw what was in the bed.

An Altean.

“What is the meaning of this? I thought Romelle was the last Altean left from Lotor’s colony?” Keith asked as he crossed his arms.

“It would appear she was mistaken.” Coran replied.

“Has she woken up yet?” Allura asked. She couldn’t take her eyes off of the unconscious Altean.

She turned to Coran, “Will she make it?”

Coran twisted his moustache between his fingertips, “Yes she will, however I can’t say anything about the condition she will be in once she wakes up. We have no idea if she will be friendly or hostile towards us.”

Allura nodded but didn’t speak again. She didn’t know how to feel about another Altean. It had been such a surprise to find out about Romelle and the colony. To know that her people had survived the last ten thousand years had been a relief although it had been tinged with sadness when she had learned what had become of them. Romelle had told them, that she was the last of Lotor’s colony and the pain of knowing they were the last of their kind had returned. Now they were faced with more Alteans. It was overwhelming to believe that more Alteans had survived. She wanted to know everything but something was telling her to be careful. What had Lotor been doing in the colony? What had happened to them now Lotor was gone? Was Haggar involved in this? So many questions ran through her mind. She hoped the unconscious Altean would be able to reveal more.

“Do you have any idea how she got inside the robeast?” Shiro asked which caught everyone’s attention.

“It appears that she was both pilot and battery for the robeast. It seems that her quintessence was the fuel but the technology is unlike anything we’ve seen before.” Pidge explained as she focused on a datapad before showing the others schematics of the robeast.

“But what does this mean? What could Haggar be planning? How does this relate to Lotor and the Altean colony?” Hunk asked as he scratched his head. The worry was evident in his voice and it was understandable. Voltron had bearly been able to withstand an assault from this new kind of robeast and it may be one of many. The implications were clear to everyone and their minds turned to the second robeast.

“You think this could be what is powering the second robeast?” Keith asked.

“It’s quite possible. However you said that the second was much more powerful so there may be something different about it, different from this one anyway.” Coran replied.

It made everyone feel uneasy at the thought that Alteans were being used to fuel this new mecha.

“Alright, let’s see what you learned about the robeast itself. We’ll leave her to recover without an audience.” Shiro said and made his way to the door. The others followed and they headed towards a nearby meeting room to discuss the changes Pidge, Hunk and Coran had discovered.

As he made his way with the others Shiro couldn’t help but think that this was going to be a major turning point. Whatever was decided and happened after all of this would determine not only the fate of the war but also whether he truly changed things or was doomed to repeat them.

* * *

Prior to this it had been hectic on the ATLAS. The Altean woman had woken up and had, and continued to be, hostile towards everyone. She was only civil around Allura but there was still a resentment simmering beneath the surface. She was definitely exhibiting a reluctant civility towards the princess. Whatever had happened to her and the other Alteans, it was clear that she was loyal to Haggar. They were lucky she hadn’t broken too much when she had gone on a rampage shortly after waking up.

But Shiro would never forget her words.

“ _You are to blame for all of this. You took Lotor from us…He was trying to protect us and you killed him in your selfishness and pride…He is more of a hero then you will ever be…He is the reason that Alteans survived…So we stand against those who killed our saviour...Haggar continues where Lotor left off. She promised us revenge and surivival._ ”

Her words had shocked everyone. The reverberations were still being felt. No-one had known how to take it. Shiro was probably the calmest about it all. He had guessed a long time ago that there was more to the story than they all knew. After all, he was required to save Lotor in addition to everything else and it didn’t fit if he was as evil as they had believed. No-one else knew how to take the news and was doubting it authenticity. Allura had locked herself away in her room and she only came out when it was time to speak to the other Altean, that they now knew was called Luka. Not even Lance could get her to come out of this new routine. It was worrying them all. Shiro couldn’t help but feel for her. He knew that she had always doubted that leaving Lotor in the quintessence field had been the right thing and it was always hard to hear that it hadn’t been. That in doing so they had condemned the surviving Alteans and left them vulnerable to Haggar's evil. Luka had also revealed that the new mechs were called Sincline.

It had also confirmed to them that Lotor was dead but he had a feeling that Allura wouldn’t truly believe that until she saw his body.

The Altean had confirmed that there were more Sincline-like mecha. She had revealed that they were Lotor’s design but had been adapted by Haggar.

So the question remained – what did they do?

Did they try to save Lotor? Did they try to find the Altean colony? What did they do with the hostile Altean on the ship? Did they believe her? All questions and no straight answers.

But this information didn’t make the war stand still.

The Paladins were once again going to check out a distress call and once again it was a trap. It seemed this new Sincline mech had an uncanny ability to trap Voltron or find it wherever it was in the universe. They fought it again and once again it hesitated when it saw the Blue Lion. No-one could understand why. What did the Sincline want with Allura? Was it Haggar who had ordered it to refrain from attacking Allura or was there something else going on?

No-one could figure it out. They were missing a part of the puzzle but what could it be?

* * *

Shiro sat in the meeting room and listened as ideas were bounced back and forth about what to do next and if they should believe Luka's story at all. They were all ideas that had been said before and the not knowing was getting to everyone. He used his prosthetic to squeeze Keith’s knee as both of them began to get irate over the situation. Shiro felt uneasy and uncertain while Keith was getting frustrated. Physical touch helped ground them both. Feeling Keith’s fingers intertwine with his own always made him feel better.

The meeting was suddenly interrupted when Allura burst into the room.

“I know what to do next.”

Everyone waited with bated breath. Shiro had a feeling he knew what she was about to say.

“We need to find Lotor.”

With her words the room erupted. People talked over each other and those that weren’t speaking were looking at others. Shiro remained silent and kept his eyes on Allura. He spotted Lance stood behind her with a hand on her shoulder. His eyes were set hard and he wasn’t giving anything away. Shiro couldn’t help but feel bad for him. Something had clearly happened between the two and it didn’t look good. He had never been in a situation like theirs but his heart went out to them both. None of this was easy.

The chaos continued and Allura folded her arms. Shiro stood up and people’s chatter quieten down to a faint whisper.

“What do you need from us?”

Everyone turned to look at him with his words. He could already see the relief in Allura’s eyes.

“Shiro, you can’t be serious! This is Lotor we’re talking about!” Pidge protested as she waved her arms around.

“If it gives us an advantage in this war I’m willing to try it. We know that Lotor hated his own mother and was willing to work against her so if we can get any extra help, it can’t hurt.” Shiro replied.

“But what about all he did in the colony?” Keith asked.

“This is war. Unfortunately we can’t be picky with the help we get. If this gives us the advantage then can we really afford to turn it down.” Shiro tried to explain. Keith scowled But didn’t reply.

“What about the Alteans?” Hunk asked.

Shiro sighed, “We have two conflicting stories about what happened at the Altean colony. We need to know more before we pass judgement. We can’t throw away any potential advantage, no matter where it comes from. Whatever Lotor is responsible for, he will pay for it after the war. Until then if he is willing to help then can we really afford to say no based on our own prejudices against him.”

As Shiro finished he noticed that everyone was silent and that Allura and Lance had taken their seats. Allura nodded at him and mouthed ‘thank you’ at him. He nodded back and took his own seat.

“Tell us what you need, Allura.” Shiro said as picked up his datapad.

“I need to get inside the new robeast, this Sincline. I know it has something to do with Lotor and I need to know. If we can get both Lotor and Sincline on our side then it could give us an advantage that could win the war.”

The conversation then continued as Allura argued her cause. Shiro and Lance backed her up while others argued the pros and cons of finding Lotor and seeking his help. Eventually Allura spoke up.

“I will do this with or without your help, but I would appreciate it if I did have it.”

Everyone stayed silent for a few moments before Iverson replied, “We’ll do it. If it’s that important and will give us the advantage we need, we’ll give it a go. But if this goes wrong, if we succeed with getting Lotor and he does something then it will fall on you.”

Allura nodded, “I understand.”

Each of the Paladins scowled at Iverson’s words. None of them liked the implicit threat towards Allura from the Garrison.

The meeting soon wrapped up but no decision had been made on how they were going to get to Lotor, or Sincline.


	17. Chapter 17

The rest of the day was spent in other meetings as the crew discussed their next move. With the decision to try and find Lotor, they had to figure out a way to find the Sincline robeast.

Shiro let out an exhausted sigh as he walked away from the last meeting of the day. Sincline seemed to appear randomly and attack Voltron so it was decided to use Voltron as bait. It sat uneasily in his stomach. He didn’t want to put Keith, or the other Paladins, in unnecessary danger. Unfortunately there were times, like this, when it was unavoidable. But it didn't mean he liked it. It triggered his fears about Keith's safety.

He entered his quarters and shrugged off his jacket. He really needed a shower.

Keith wasn’t back yet as the Paladins had wanted to run their plan by the Lions so he had some time on his own. He took off the rest of his clothes and got into the shower. After washing the day off he dried himself and got into his pyjamas. He exited the bathroom and smiled when he saw Keith sat on the bed with two plates of food.

“You weren’t in the mess hall.”

Keith’s statement was punctuated by him stabbing a piece of food and eating it. Shiro shrugged as he picked up the plate. He placed a kiss on Keith’s cheek, “Thank you.”

The two ate in silence and Shiro soon realised that there was something bothering Keith. He kept glancing between his plate and boyfriend but wasn’t sure how to word his question.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Keith asked. It seemed Shiro didn’t need to ask the question after all.

“Honestly…I don’t know. Realistically we need all the advantages against Haggar that we can get. Who knows what information she managed to get while she controlled me. We know we need to stop her and if Lotor can give us that information then it’ll be worth it.”

“None of that was your fault. Haggar controlled you. You’re not to blame for anything you did during that time. You know that, right?”

Shiro nodded but his gaze fell to his lap. Keith put down his plate and reached up to cup his cheek, forcing Shiro to look at him. Keith stroked his thumb along his cheek. Shiro put his plate down beside him and turned his attention to Keith.

“You know that, right?. You are not to blame for any of what happened then.”

“I know.”

Keith leaned forward and placed his forehead against Shiro’s, “I want you to say it. Say you’re not to blame for what happened while you were under her control.”

“I’m not…” He sighed, “I’m not…I’m not to blame for what happened.”

Keith gave him a look and Shiro took a deep breath, “I’m not to blame for what happened when Haggar controlled me.”

Keith smiled, “Good. I want you to keep saying that to yourself, maybe one day you’ll believe it.”

He kissed Shiro and moved his hand from his cheek to the back of his head. Shiro kissed back with passion. The conversation had left him unsettled but he knew it was something that he had to work through. Keith made him believe that what he was saying could be true. They kissed for a few minutes and laughed as they pulled apart.

“Weren’t we talking about the plan to find Lotor?” Shiro said, chuckling, as he kept his arms around Keith.

Keith smiled back as he pulled back, “Were we?”

“Yes, we were.”

“What do you really think of the plan?”

“I don’t like the idea of relying on an enemy. Lotor had committed a lot of evil, it’s just...how do we trust him? But that doesn’t mean I don’t see the benefits. You’re right that Lotor hated his mother, almost more than he hated Zarkon. He wanted to defeat her as much as we do. His help could be invaluable.”

“We won’t know until we try. It’s worth a shot don’t you think?”

“It is.”

“But?”

“But, how do we mediate his presence in relation to the Alteans on board? We've got one that is loyal to him and one that hates him. Coran and Allura are uneasy but uncertain. How do we manage that and what happens if he betrays us?”

Shiro sighed, “I don’t know. We’ll cross those bridges when, if we get to them. I’m not asking you to trust him, just that you give this a chance.”

Keith sighed and rested his head on Shiro’s shoulder, “Okay. We’ll see where this goes.”

“That’s all I ask. Thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me.”

“I know, but I wanted to.”

Shiro pressed a kiss to the top of Keith’s head and the two lapsed into silence. They pulled apart and continued eating their dinner in a more comfortable silence. Shiro sincerely hoped that his hope would be well-founded. He didn't want to cause an even worse future to occur.

After finishing their meal they decided to watch another movie. They held each other but soon their bodies began to protest the position they were in and they separated as they each surpressed yawns. Noticing the late hour, the two got ready for bed. It didn’t take long to fall asleep.

* * *

But the night wouldn't be peaceful. Shiro was woken up and for a few seconds wondered why. He hadn’t had a nightmare so what had woken him up?

It didn’t take long to find out why. The noises coming from beside him quickly drew his attention. It took a few moments for his vision to adjust to the darkness before he could focus on Keith. The man beside him let out moans and groans as he tossed and turned in the sheets. It was fairly frequent occurence that one of them would suffer from nightmares. Shiro rolled onto his side and gently shook Keith’s shoulders.

“Keith.”

He got no response from Keith. He shook his shoulder again.

“Keith. Keith, wake up.”

Keith’s eyes snapped open and his chest rose and fell quickly as he took in shaky breaths. He looked around and his gaze quickly fell on Shiro.

“Shiro?”

“I’m here. You’re okay. You’re awake now. You're in our room on the ATLAS. Kosmo is beside the bed hugging the hippo toy, fast asleep and it's the middle of the night.”

Keith nodded his head and edged closer to Shiro. He wrapped his arms around Keith and held him as close as he could.

Keith shook in his arms as images from his nightmare continued to flash in his mind. He gripped Shiro’s tank top tightly, not wanting to let him go. The idea that Shiro was going to disappear or leave him permanently always got the better of him from time to time. He hated how weak it made him feel. He hated the idea that he couldn’t live without Shiro, even if deep down he knew it was true. Well, he knew he could live without Shiro but it was a life he didn't want to live. He would never admit to it, especially not to Shiro, as he didn’t want to appear clingy or codependent. But the fear of Shiro not being there was ever present. He'd already lived without Shiro twice and he never wanted to do it again.

Shiro whispered sweet nothings in his ear as he rubbed Keith’s back with one hand and used the other to stroke his hair to try and calm him down. Keith trembled in his arms and Shiro couldn’t believe how small he seemed. He hated it. He hated that his demons were haunting him in such a way while there was nothing he could do to chase them away. Although he knew that Keith felt the same way when he was the one that needed comforting.

Eventually Keith stopped trembling and his breathing slowed to it’s normal rate.

“You okay?”

Keith nodded but didn’t move. Shiro continued to hold him close but soon Keith began to tremble again. This got Shiro worried.

“Keith?”

“Please don’t leave me.”

Shiro’s heart broke at hearing Keith’s voice sound so small and quiet.

“Never. I will never willingly leave you. You’re stuck with me for the rest of our lives. I’m not going anywhere, anytime soon. I love you too much to leave you or let you go.”

He hoped his words were of some comfort as he tightened his grip on Keith. He kept repeating them hoping that Keith would eventually believe them but he knew from experience that sometimes words weren’t enough. So he resolved to prove to Keith that he wasn’t going anywhere. Although the war was going to make that a bit difficult but he was nothing if not determined. Keith meant too much to him to go about their relationship half-heartedly.

His thoughts turned to the future and guilt flooded him at the thought of Keith not only having to deal with these demons alone but also had seen them come true. He continued whispering sweet nothings to Keith until he calmed down.

Slowly Keith pulled away, “Sorry about that.”

“Don’t be. I want to help you with stuff like this. I want to be here for you in any way I can be. After all, you help me when I have a nightmare so I want to be here to help when you have one.”

Keith looked sheepish but nodded. He got up and started to strip off, “I need a shower after that.”

Shiro nodded but stayed where he was, “Okay.”

Keith paused at the doorway and looked back over his shoulder, “You're not going to join me?”

Shiro didn’t need to be told twice. He got up and stripped off and followed Keith into the shower. He knew he had, had one only hours earlier but this was a ritual of theirs after a nightmare. 

The two stood under the hot stream. Keith was the first to pick up the sponge and body wash and then began to wash Shiro. There was nothing sexual in his touch. It was more about knowing that Shiro was there, in front of him and okay, more than anything else. Once Keith was done Shiro repeated the actions on Keith. As Shiro was taller he washed Keith’s hair first before he knelt down and let Keith wash his.

Afterwards the two dried off separately before returning to bed. Shiro held Keith against him while Keith rested his head on Shiro’s chest allowing him to hear his heartbeat.

Shiro smiled as he felt Keith relax and eventually heard his breathing even out, indicating he had fallen asleep. This little ritual of theirs always put them both at ease. It allowed them to wash away the sweat and grime from a nightmare filled sleep but also reminded them both that they were there and present, that their nightmares weren’t real.

He lay there and thought about the events of that night. He couldn’t help but wonder what had triggered Keith’s nightmares. Had it been the discussion about Lotor? He knew deep down that it was the right thing to do but he hoped that it came without too many complications.


	18. Chapter 18

Meetings, meetings and more meetings.

It was all the Paladin’s lives seemed to be at the moment. It gave them little time to properly formulate a plan on how to find Lotor or deal with Sincline.

On a rare bit of down time the Paladins found themselves all in one area, a break room.

“Allura, do you any idea on how we’re going to find Lotor?” Shiro asked as he carded his fingers through Keith’s hair. The man himself was cuddled against Shiro’s side while holding a datapad and trying to read some reports. He put the datapad down and turned his attention to Shiro. The others also stopped what they were doing and paid attention to the conversation.

Allura sighed and folded her arms, shaking her head. Coran twisted his moustache as he sat contemplating the situation. Silence stretched out for a few moment before Allura spoke.

“I’m not sure but I feel like I will need to get inside of Sincline. If clues for Lotor’s location are anywhere they will be there.”

“How are you planning on getting inside?” Keith asked.

Allura looked confused for a moment before shrugging her shoulders. She had no idea how she was going to succeed with her plan but she felt like she had to get inside Sincline. It may be the only way to get to Lotor. However before she could voice this, Pidge answered.

“I’ve been studying the schematics of the robeast we captured. There appears to be internal pathways which lead to a central area which is where we found Luka. If Sincline is designed to be anything like this one then it should have the same structure. If we can pierce it in its chest then it should give you the opportunity to get inside. The problem will be getting out again.”

“Can’t we use Kosmo for that?” Lance asked.

“Will he be able to do that? I mean he’s a teleporting space wolf but can he teleport that far or to places he’s never been before?” Hunk replied.

“He got around the ATLAS fine when he first arrived. I think as long as we stay close then it could work.” Keith said as he shrugged his shoulders.

He turned to Kosmo, who had turned his attention to the conversation upon hearing his name, “You alright with that?”

The wolf barked in reply and appeared to nod yes.

“Uhh, can he understand us?” Hunk asked.

Keith shrugged, “Don’t know. Sometimes it seems like he does, other times not. Although I'm not sure he's just choosing to ignore me.”

They all turned their attention to Kosmo for a few moments who had nudged Keith’s hand and was now enjoying some ear scratches. He was no longer paying attention but all felt a little uneasy at the idea that Kosmo could understand what they were saying due to the things they had said in front of him.

“What about getting into Sincline though?” Shiro asked, “How do you plan to get inside apart from through an opening?”

Allura sighed, “It should be easy enough if the opening is large enough. Theoretically all I would have to do is leave the Blue Lion and get to the robeast.”

“Wouldn’t that leave the Blue Lion without a pilot?” Keith asked as he sat up, having stopped giving Kosmo ear scratches.

“Not if I’m not the one piloting.”

“What do you mean?” Shiro asked.

“I have an idea which would allow me to get to Sincline.” Everyone looked at Allura expectantly, “This could work if we went back to the original line up of Paladins.”

Everyone nodded while Shiro remained confused, “I don’t understand.”

Allura turned to Shiro, “We’ll need you to fly the Black Lion.”

“But, But…”

“Shiro, it’s the only way.”

“But how? I don’t hear her anymore. I heard Black once when you guys fell from the sky but since then I haven’t heard anything.”

“You have to try Shiro, please.”

He looked around the room, “But I’m not a Paladin anymore.”

“You will always be a Paladin, whether you pilot a Lion or not. Please, you have to try.”

He nodded sighing, “I’ll try, but what do we do if it doesn’t work?”

“I’m positive it will work.”

He sighed again, not knowing what to argue back. It was a good plan but that didn’t mean he didn’t have doubts. Could he really pilot the Black Lion again? Would she let him? Or had his connection with Black really severed as he feared?

* * *

Later that day Shiro found himself stood in front of the Black Lion. She stood majestically in her hangar but he found himself more nervous than when he first attempted to pilot her. He had no idea if this was going to work.

He concentrated and closed his eyes. He couldn’t sense anything other than the ATLAS.

At first.

After a few minutes he opened his eyes and looked at the Black Lion. He stared at her unmoving form and wondered how he could pilot her again.

“How am I going to make this work? Can I really still pilot you?” He sighed, “I, We really need this to work and I have no idea if it’s going to. Part of me thinks Allura really did sever the connection between us when she took me out of your consciousness.”

Silence greeted him. He folded his arms and wondered what the hell he was supposed to do. He looked the Black Lion up and down and sighed again. He dropped his arms and turned to walk away, feeling defeated.

He hadn’t even taken a step towards the door when he heard the familiar rumble in the back of his mind. ATLAS seemed to giggle at the idea she was sharing his mind with another. He spun around and stared at the Black Lion with wide eyes. He stayed as still as a statue for a few moments before hearing the rumble again.

He couldn’t believe he was hearing the Black Lion again. It brought tears to his eyes.

The Black Lion’s eyes flashed to life and she lowered her head to allow Shiro entry. He slowly made his way into Black. He walked into the darkened cockpit and felt a wave of nostalgia hit him. It was good but terrifying to be back here as the pilot.

He sat down in the pilot seat and reached for the controls. He hesitated and his hands hovered over the controls. He took a deep breath and felt Black rumble in the back of his mind. He let out a breath and gripped the controls. For a second nothing happened before the cockpit lit up and the Black Lion came to life. She let out an almighty roar at her paladin’s return.

It shook the ATLAS.

Shiro let out a few tears as it sank in that Black was letting him pilot. He was still a Paladin. He was still the Black Paladin. He felt another rumble from Black. He understood it as her saying ‘You will always be my Paladin.’

“It’s good to be back.”

He smiled and took in the familiar surroundings of Black cockpit.

As he reminded himself of the controls he failed to notice the ATLAS opening the bay doors.

“ATLAS what are you doing?!”

He received nothing but a laugh in return before the Black Lion propelled herself out into space.

“Wait! Black! Hold on!”

He gripped the controls and guided the Black Lion through the asteroid field the ATLAS was stationed next to. As he manoeuvred between the rocks and ice he realised he was having fun. It had been a long time since he had had fun in one of the Lions. He put the Lion through her paces, diving and swerving amongst the obstacles.

* * *

Back on the ATLAS the crew were left wondering what the hell was going on. Alarms had blared as the Black Lion’s bay doors opened. The Black Lion raced out and headed for the nearby asteroid field. They all watched in amazement and confusion.

“What the hell? What is going on?” Ina asked as she stared at the rogue Lion, “Should we call it back? Contact it?”

Keith shook his head, “No. They both need this.”

“But if it isn’t you piloting then who is?” Another crew member asked.

“Shiro is.” Allura said as she entered the bridge. She stood next to Keith and watch the Black Lion fly in front of the ATLAS.

Keith turned and left the bridge with a smile on his face. It felt really good to see Shiro flying the Black Lion again. It was about time and he finally felt like Shiro was truly back. He could only imagine how Shiro must be feeling.

He headed to the Red Lion bay and didn’t miss how Lance was also making his way to Blue. They nodded to each other as they passed each other.

He entered and stared at Red. It felt good to see her again. He just hoped that she would be willing to let him pilot again.

“Hey Red. Fancy a ride?”

The rumble he heard in response made him smile. He stepped in front of the Red Lion and placed a hand on her paw.

“I’ve missed you.”

He stepped back and watched as she lowered her head. He reached up and placed a hand on her jaw. He really had missed her. Despite the fact that he piloted the Black Lion now, he still thought of her as Shiro’s. He still didn’t really feel like the Black Paladin and felt more like he was still warming the seat for Shiro. Seeing Black flying and knowing that Shiro was piloting, was not only a weight off of his shoulders but was also something he was happy to see.

The walkway opened into front of him and allowed him to enter Red. He made his way to the cockpit while the smile never left his face. It felt good to be in Red’s pilot seat again. He gripped the controls and felt a pleased hum in the back of his mind. His smile widened as he felt Red come to life all around him. The bay doors opened in front of him and he and Red raced out into space. He ducked and dived as he got used to Red’s manoeuvrability again. She was definitely quicker and more agile than Black. He took time getting used to her again as he manoeuvred amongst the asteroid field.

Shiro noticed movement on his side and spotted the Red Lion. Before he could ask what was going on his communication channel opened.

“Mind if I join you?” Keith asked.

Shiro smiled, “Of course not.”

Keith smiled as well and the two began to fly together. The Black and Red Lions ducked and dived their way through the asteroid field. Keith and Shiro kept smiling and laughing, staying near each other. Neither could believe that this was happening.

“You guys mind a bit of company?”

Shiro and Keith looked to their screens and saw Hunk on screen with a big smile on his face. The Yellow Lion then became visible to both of them.

“Sure. Who else is here?” Shiro asked.

“All of us.” Pidge said as the Green and Blue Lion also came into view.

Beeping interrupted them. It was a message from the ATLAS. Shiro accepted the message but it was visible to them all.

“Paladins.”

“Hey Allura.” Lance replied, smiling.

“It’s good to see you all. I assume you’ll be out for a while.”

“We will. I think we need time to get to know the Lions a little better. While we’re gone you and Coran are in charge of the ATLAS.” Shiro said.

“Aye, aye Captain.” Coran replied with a salute.

“We’ll see you soon.” Allura said and the communication channel between them all closed.

The Paladins then began to duck and dive through the asteroids and each other. They swerved and dipped as Shiro, Keith and Lance got used to their Lions again. They even tried out the more powerful attacks on the asteroids. The smiles never left their faces as they had fun for what felt like the first time in a long time.

“Guys, should we try and form Voltron?” Hunk asked.

“I don’t see why not.” Shiro replied, “Alright team. Form Voltron!”

The Lions were brought into formation and cheers were let out as the transformation completed successfully.

“Guys, we did it! We can still form Voltron.” Pidge exclaimed.

Shiro felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. The doubt that he wouldn’t be able to form Voltron had nagged at him since Allura’s plan was first proposed. He felt good. It felt like it had been a long time since he had felt this good.

They flew around in Voltron for a while before once again breaking apart and heading back to the ATLAS.

* * *

Everyone was in high spirits as the Lions returned to the ATLAS.

Shiro sat in the darkened Black Lion and felt so many different emotions rush over him. He was still a Paladin! He could still fly the Black Lion! Their connection hadn’t been broken. He pulled off his helmet as the emotion became too much and he sobbed at the realisation that he hadn’t lost this, any of it.

He had no idea how long he was there but jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up and spotted Keith.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“Are you okay?” Keith asked, his hand never leaving Shiro’s shoulder.

Shiro nodded, “Yeah. It’s just, I thought I had lost this. I thought I was no longer the Black Paladin…”

“You will always be the Black Paladin whether you fly Black or not.”

Shiro smiled and leaned back in his chair, taking Keith’s hand, “It’s just nice to have that confirmed. It all became a bit much.”

Keith squeezes his hand but didn’t say anything else. Both felt the Black Lion in their minds as she attempted to comfort them. That brought a chuckle to both their lips. They looked at each other. Keith’s lip wobbled as it dawned on him that Shiro really was sitting in the Black Lion’s pilot seat. Tears came to his eyes and before he knew it he was crying himself. Keith had never allowed himself to cry over Shiro. There had been too much to do. From finding him to the quantum abyss to the clone to fighting Sendak, there had been no time to process the multiple times he had lost and found Shiro. Now it seemed to be all coming out. The hurt, the pain, the loss, the relief, the happiness, the love all overwhelmed him.

Shiro stood up and wrapped his arms around Keith. Keith’s tears pulled at his heartstrings and he could feel his own tears gathering again but they didn’t fall. He tightened his grip as Keith sobbed into his chest. After a couple of minutes Keith quietened down to hiccups before lifting his head from Shiro's chest.

“You’re really back.” He whispered with his gaze fixed on Shiro’s chest.

“Have been for a while.”

Keith gave Shiro an unimpressed look. Shiro smiled as he understood what Keith meant. It felt really good to be in the Black Paladin armour again. Keith put his hand on his chest before looking up. Shiro was struck by how beautiful Keith looked in the darkened cockpit with glassy eyes.

“You’re in the Black Lion again, flying her.”

“I do look good in the armour.”

“You always have.”

Shiro kept his arms around Keith. He couldn't help but cringe at his poor attempts at humour but he didn't like to see Keith cry and wanted to cheer him up.

“You’re back. You’re really back.”

Shiro tightened his grip, “I am.”

Shiro leaned in and pressed a kiss to Keith’s lips. Keith’s arms wrapped around Shiro’s neck as the kiss deepened. Eventually a need for air made them separate.

“You think you’re ready to face the others. They want to celebrate today.” Keith said as he wiped his face.

Shiro wiped his face as well, “Sure. Today was definitely worth celebrating.”

The two shared a smile and Shiro let go of Keith’s hand before turning towards the exit. Without a word he reached back and Keith took the offered hand. Together and hand in hand the two walked out of the Black Lion. Both felt better than they had in a long time.

The others met them outside the Black Lion’s hangar.

“Ready to celebrate.” Lance exclaimed.

A chorus of “Yeah” was his reply and together they set off for one of the break rooms.

Once there they were joined by Allura and Coran and celebrated into the night. They were back and it felt incredible. 


	19. Chapter 19

Over the next couple of weeks the Paladins continued to practice and train in their Lions and in Voltron. Shiro had even been able to join them on a couple of missions. As a result the mood on the ATLAS was better and morale was higher than ever.

The only downside was they were still no closer to figuring out how to get close to or even find Sincline. Allura’s plan was entirely reliant on finding it by so far they hadn’t had any luck. Allura had even begun to travel in the Blue Lion with Lance every time the Paladins went on a mission just in case Sincline showed up. Despite many seeing it as a good thing, everyone couldn't help wondering what it and Honerva were doing in the mean time.

With no other ideas it was decided that they would ask Luka if she had any ideas and that it should be Allura and Romelle to ask her. They were still the only ones she was willing to talk to. Although she had said a few words to Coran.

Unfortunately Luka had had nothing to add about Honerva’s plans but she had revealed the location of a second Altean colony. The very colony that she had been taken to.

Allura and Romelle had both been shocked to hear of a second colony. As far as Romelle was aware the secondary location Lotor had been taken to was a facility which ends up draining any Alteans of quintessence. Could there really be even more Alteans alive out there?

The ATLAS made its way to the location Luka had given them and came across a large planet with a reddish atmosphere. Luka was brought onto the bridge to clarify if that was indeed the planet she had come from.

“Yes. That’s the planet. Honerva and the other Alteans should be down there.”

Shiro nodded and couldn’t help but glance at Allura and Coran. On that planet were more of their people. A people that they believed to be wiped out until Romelle had been found, but it had still just been the three of them. Now not only had a fourth Altean been found but on the planet in front of them there was a whole planets worth of Alteans. He could only imagine what must be going through their heads.

“Alright, everyone knows the plan. The Paladins and I will go down to the surface in Voltron. We may encounter Sincline while we’re down there. We have to be ready for anything. Coran you’re in charge of the ATLAS while I’m flying the Black Lion. We’ll be in contact with the ATLAS as much as possible. The ATLAS stays in orbit and we’ll call for assistance if we need it. Everyone clear.”

A chorus of “Clear” answered Shiro’s orders and he and the Paladins made their way to the Lions.

The Lions flew away from the ATLAS and down onto the planets surface.

“Let’s see if we can find the colony.” Allura said as she watched over Lance’s shoulder.

“Of c...” Shiro didn’t get to finish his words before a large robeast landed in front of them.

“That’s Sincline.” Hunk said as his voice trembled.

“Okay, this is what we wanted. You all know the plan. Let’s do this.” Shiro said as he propelled the Black Lion forward.

The others followed suit and each attacked Sincline. Their attempt to weaken it seems only to aggravate it. Although all noticed it seemed to avoid attacking the Blue Lion.

“Form Voltron!” Shiro yelled as he and Black narrowly avoided a hit.

When Voltron formed the team attacked. Ducking and diving as they tried to avoid getting hit themselves. They yelled as Voltron was thrown backwards.

“How the hell are we supposed to get an opening?” Lance said through gritted teeth.

“We have to find a way. This may be our only chance to take it down.” Allura replied as she put a hand on his shoulder.

The Paladins gritted their teeth as they tried to handle the onslaught coming from Sincline. They ducked and dived around the field they were on as they narrowly avoided another hit.

“We can’t just be on the defence the whole time. We need to attack!” Keith exclaimed.

“Got any ideas?” Shiro asked.

“One.”

Keith pulled on Red’s controls making Voltron pull out a sword. Voltron took a swipe at Sincline which was able to block it with their own sword. The fighting resumed and soon Voltron began to shake with the force of the hits.

Shiro began to feel the panic in him rising. This fight was going to take everything they had.

Just like their fight with Zarkon.

He shook his head and took a deep breath. No! He couldn’t think back to that fight. The problem was his mind kept sending him flashes of the fight that had taken his life. The panic rose until he felt it grip his throat. He began to struggle to breath. His breaths became more laboured as he tried to focus back on the battle.

‘ _No. I can’t go back there. I can’t go back to the Black Lion’s consciousness. I don’t want to go back to the astral plane_.’ As he thought this his eyes and squeezed shut and he let go of the Black Lion’s controls. He stared in front of him unseeingly as his panic overrode all his senses.

The Paladins yelled as Voltron fell apart.

“What? What the hell happened?!” Hunk yelled as the Lions avoided more attacks.

“I don’t know.” Keith said as he gripped the controls tighter. It was then that he noticed that the Black Lion hadn’t moved, “Shiro! Shiro can you hear me?!”

Panic and worry settled in his chest. The silence was too similar to what had happened the last time Shiro had fought in the Black Lion. No, he couldn’t think like that! Shiro was fine. He was back. He was here.

Shiro concentrated on his breathing and willed it to calm down. He didn’t know how much time had passed and for a moment didn’t know where he was.

“Shiro! Can you hear me?!”

Keith’s voice broke through the fog, “Keith.”

Keith breathed a sigh of relief but noticed that Shiro’s voice sounded quiet, “Shiro, are you okay?”

Shiro blinked and it slowly dawned on him where he was. He cleared his throat, “Yeah. Sorry about that. I don’t know what happened there. Everyone okay?”

“Yeah we’re fine. Do you think you could form Voltron again?”

Shiro nodded, “Yeah. Just give me a minute.”

“We may not have a minute.” Pidge said as the Green Lion attacked Sincline.

“Okay. Team, let’s see if we can do this.” Shiro replied and once again Voltron was formed.

Shiro took deep breaths as he tried to regulate his breathing. He felt shaky and tired. He put all of his focus onto the battle. He could deal with this later.

“Alright, let’s do this!”

Keith once again summoned Voltron’s sword and they attacked Sincline. It took a while but soon they had the upper hand. They continued to swing at Sincline and it was now on the defensive.

“Blazing sword.” Keith yelled out as flames and energy wrapped themselves around the sword.

He pulled on Red’s controls again and swung the sword with all he had. It hit Sincline and sliced through its chest. The large opening then slowly began to heal.

“What the?” Was all that came from Hunk.

“Allura, if you’re going to go, go now!” Keith ordered as Voltron slammed into Sincline.

“The Lions need to be separate for me to exit.”

Voltron pushed itself away from Sincline to avoid another attack.

“Okay, on three, two, one…” Shiro called and on one the Lions separated.

Quickly Blue flew close to Sincline and Allura exited. Using her jet pack she made her way to the closing opening. She raced towards it and managed to get inside with seconds to spare.

“I’m in.” She relayed through a comms channel.

“Good luck.” Shiro said, “Right, let’s distract this thing.”

* * *

Inside Allura took in her surroundings. Pidge had been right. Sincline seemed to follow the same design as the other robeast. The place was full of purple and reds of the Galra empire. There was no mistaking who had made it. She looked to her left and then her right. Where could Lotor be? How did she find him?

She closed her eyes and focused. At first she felt nothing but then she felt it. An energy coming from the centre of the robeast, similar to the energy she felt in her visions of Lotor. She focused on that energy to try and ascertain a direction to go in.

“Allura.”

She opened her eyes in shock. It was faint, a whisper. It was also weak. Her heart skipped a beat at the idea of Lotor being weak. Whatever he had been to them, he had never appeared weak. Not even to her. To hear his voice sound so weak now settled uneasily in her stomach.

It continued calling to her and she followed it. She ran down winding corridors that seemed to lead nowhere and would easily had gotten lost if she had been on her own.

Eventually she entered into a large room.

“Allura, any idea when you’ll be done?” Pidge asked, the strain in her voice was evident. She knew Sincline was still moving as she had been thrown into the wall on two separate occasions already.

“Unfortunately not but I have found the central control room. I shouldn’t be much longer.”

Allura put her hand up to her helmet as an awful smell hit her. It was horrid even through her helmet's filters. She slowly walked into the room and saw some kind of bench in the centre of the room. It had some kind of liquid dripping from it and scraps of something hanging from it. She stepped closer and the smell got stronger. She grimaced as she increased her helmets filtering. Whatever was on the bench seemed to be the source of the smell. She hesitantly moved towards it. She remained cautious as it was possible that the area had been rigged with traps.

Coming from the back she really couldn’t tell what it was that was on the table. Conscious of the time she stepped closer. Rounding the bench her eyes widened as she got her first look at what was on the bench.

A blood-curdling scream left her lips as she realised what she was looking at.

Lotor.

Tears streamed down her cheeks as she took in what she was seeing. Lotor not only appeared to be dead but also in advanced decomposition. It was obvious that he had been dead for some time. But if he was dead how could he be what was powering Sincline?

Allura slowly edged towards the bench as she examined all of the wires and tubes that had been attached to his body to connect it to Sincline. Is this really what Honerva would do to her own son, her only child? Something so cruel and depraved as to use your child’s corpse to power your latest invention. All for power. Allura couldn’t have hated the Altean alchemist more in that moment. How could anyone, let alone a mother, do that someone, especially their own child?

Despair sat like a heavy weight upon Allura’s shoulders as she realised that they were too late. Lotor would be of no help to them. So why had she been seeing visions of him? Had Honerva been sending them to lead her here? Had it all been a trap?

She let out a few sobs at the situation when…

“Allura.”

She looked up. That voice again.

“Lotor?” She asked tentatively.

“Allura.”

It seemed to be growing weaker. She placed her hand on his head and focused her energy on the body in front of her.

“Allura.” Good the voice was getting stronger.

She pulled the tubes and wires out of him and away from his body. She had no idea the effect it would have but in that moment she didn’t care. She looked over him again and felt pity at the state he was now in. How had it come to this? She closed her eyes as tears gathered on her eyes again. How was she to tell the others that they had failed? Their entire plan had rested on getting information from Lotor. What could they do now?

“Princess.” She jumped as she heard another voice, “Princess, you know what you must do.”

“I don’t.” She replied to this second voice. She recognised it but couldn't place it. She would have to deal with it later.

“You do. The powers you were given in Oriande were given for a reason. They are the powers of the Lifegivers. Use them.”

For a moment Allura didn’t understand. She thought over what the voice had said, “ _powers of the Lifegivers_.”

Lifegivers! Of course!

She placed her hand on Lotor’s chest and repositioned the one that was on his head. She closed her eyes and focused on drawing all the power she could. She and Lotor began to glow blue as she poured power into him, not that she noticed. She poured as much power as she could into Lotor. All she could think was ‘ _please let this work’._

The energy felt like it was going somewhere and she couldn’t help but noticed when Lotor’s chest seemed to rise a small amount. She had no idea how much time had passed when she let go, exhausted. She kept her eyes closed, fearful that it hadn’t worked.

“Thank you.”

Her eyes flew open and she once again began to cry when she saw what was in front of her.

Lotor, alive.

She watched his chest rise and fall with each breath he took. She looked up at his face and saw his eyes half-lidded but looking at her. She smiled at him and he attempted a smile back but it was more a simple twitch of his lips.

“Allura, are you okay?” Lance’s voice came through the comms.

She took a deep breath, “Yes and I have Lotor. But he’s weak, he won’t be able to walk out of here so I will be a bit longer getting out. How are you?”

“We're fine. Sincline powered down a few minutes ago and hasn’t moved since. Whatever you did worked.”

“I’m on my way out now.”

“See you soon.”

She looked back at Lotor and found he had fallen asleep while she had been talking. She couldn’t say she blamed him. She gently lifted him and began to drag him along the corridors. Soon she spotted the daylight from outside and headed towards it. It seemed that she had disconnected Sincline before he had had a chance to fully recover from a sceond hit of Blazing Sword.

Once at the entrance she opened a comms channel, “I’m at the opening. Lotor is unconscious and I’m not sure I can carry his weight and use my jet pack at the same time. Besides I don’t think that one of us, let alone either is going to fit through the gap.”

“Hang on.” Hunk said as he slammed the Yellow Lion into Sincline creating a massive hole in its side.

“Thank you Hunk.” Allura said as she chuckled. She headed towards the Yellow Lion and got on.

Hunk helped lift Lotor into the Lion and laid him in the cargo hold. Allura knelt by his side in case her powers were needed again. However it was clear that Lotor wouldn’t be waking up anytime soon. As soon as Hunk was ready he and the rest of the Paladins began to head back to the ATLAS. They left Sincline where it was. They all knew that they would be seeing it again. Allura couldn’t be entirely sure but she thought that she had seen the robeast start to regenerate as they left.

The flight back to the ATLAS was silent. The silent wasn’t strained but it wasn’t comfortable either. The search for the colony would have to wait until a later time.

* * *

Once the Lions had returned Lotor had been rushed to the medical wing. Allura had followed. After he’d been examined the medics had revealed that aside from exhaustion he seemed perfectly healthy, at least as far as they could tell. Allura released a breath she didn’t know she had been holding when she’d heard the news. It was at that moment that the exhaustion of the day caught up to her and she collapsed and fell unconscious.

Lotor’s arrival on the ATLAS was kept a secret. Only the bridge crew and Paladins knew of it. They thought it better to keep it that way for now as they needed to know if he had any information and in what capacity they were keeping him here. Was he a prisoner or a guest? They would find out when he woke up.

The Paladins were notified of both Allura and Lotor’s condition. Lance had taken up the seat next to Allura’s bed and waited for her to awaken. The others couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for him. They knew that he loved Allura but it seemed it was going to be a doomed first love. It was obvious that Allura also cared for Lance but the way she had run to Lotor told them that she either hadn’t gotten over her feelings for him as she thought or they had never left to begin with. None of them knew what to make of that situation but they also didn’t want to get involved.

They each went to their rooms and cleaned up after the battle. None of them really knew how to make sense of what was happening.

* * *

Shiro sighed and let his shoulders slump as he took off his armour. He changed onto his pyjamas and sat on the bed before allowing himself to fall back and lay on the bed. His episode during the battle had exhausted him and he just wanted to get to bed. He got changed and sat on the bed. He could take his armour to the locker room at a later date. He flopped back onto the bed and let his eyes close for a moment.

He felt the bed sink beside him and opened his eyes. He turned his head and saw the concerned look on Keith’s face. Wordlessly he reached out and took Keith’s hand. He brought it to his lips and kissed it before placing them both down on his chest. Keith remained silent for a few more moments but seemed to be scanning his eyes over Shiro’s body.

“Are you okay?”

Shiro smiled at the timid way that Keith had asked the question, “Yeah.”

“But what happened earlier…”

Shiro let out a sigh through his nose, “It just, it all reminded me of the last time I fought in the Black Lion.”

Keith gave a sharp intake of breath and squeezed his hand. Shiro squeezed back and then pulled Keith down to lay beside him. He let go of his hand and wrapped the arm around Keith’s shoulders.

“It just got to be a bit too much. I’m sorry that I caused Voltron to fall apart.”

He could admit to himself that he felt a bit ashamed that he had almost ruined their plans. Keith must have felt the change in him as he rose onto his elbow.

“Hey, you did nothing wrong. No-one blames you for what happened and it’s completely understandable that it did. It was your first time fighting in Black after everything that happened. It’s understandable that that would happen and it’s not like anyone minds. We achieved what we set out to achieve. We completed the mission.”

Shiro stayed silent but Keith could tell that something was bothering him, “Shiro?”

“It doesn’t stop the fear.”

“Fear?”

“Fear that I’d end up in the Black Lion’s consciousness again.” He felt Keith tense, “It felt so overwhelming at the time.”

“You won’t end up there again. But you can’t help any reaction you may have.”

Shiro stared at the ceiling as Keith finished as sighed, “I know. Deep down I know but that doesn’t mean it’s not annoying when it does happen.”

“I know.”

Keith rested his head back on Shiro’s chest while Shiro began to run his fingers through Keith’s hair. It was one of his favourite pastimes. He always marvelled how soft Keith’s hair was. Plus it was a good distraction from his own thoughts as he could absentmindedly card his fingers through the raven locks and simply not think for a while.

“What are you thinking about?”

Shiro smiled, “You. Well, your hair.”

Keith looked up at Shiro before moving up and kissing him. They kissed languidly for a few minutes when Keith's hand began to wander. The hand he’d had resting on Shiro’s chest travelled down his chest and was soon brushing along the top of his sweatpants. He reached under Shiro’s tank top and felt his bare skin for a minute before sneaking his hand into his sweatpants.

He stroked Shiro causing him to pull away from the kiss.

“I’m tired from earlier.”

“Then lie back and let me take care of you.”

Keith hadn’t stopped stroking him and Shiro couldn’t deny how good that felt and sounded right now. He kissed Keith again before pulling away and sitting up, causing Keith to remove his hand. Shiro lifted his tank top off of him and quickly removed his sweatpants and underwear. He laid back down on the bed as Keith took his clothes off and got the lube.

He returned to the bed and intended to get both their minds completely off of the episode that had happened earlier that day.


	20. Chapter 20

Allura had woken up the next day but was kept another for observation. Medics had wanted to be sure that she was okay after bringing Lotor back to life. It was a good thing that nothing was wrong apart from exhaustion, but it had annoyed her to be kept in a bed for two days. Lotor, on the other hand, had remained unconscious. There hadn't been any change in him.

It hadn’t taken Allura long to take up the seat beside Lotor’s bed and keep vigil there once she had been discharged. Allura’s devotion to Lotor had surprised many. Many couldn’t understand it especially as they had heard nothing but bad things about the Galra-Altean hybrid.

It was obvious to everyone that she and Lance had had some kind of talk. The Blue Paladin avoided Lotor’s room and now spent most of his time in the lab with Pidge and Hunk. His mood had also taken a downturn but they hoped that with time he would be back to the old Lance. Shiro felt his heart go out to them both. Heartbreak was never easy. Whether it was the first or tenth time you experienced it. Although the first time did hold a particular potency which you never really forgot. He knew it would just take time.

He knocked lightly on the door in front of him. A quiet “Come in” beckoned him into the room.

Inside Allura was in her usual seat beside Lotor’s bed. She turned around and smiled at him as he entered. He spotted that she was holding Lotor’s hand. Allura followed his gaze and quickly put her hand back in her lap. Shiro smiled to her as he made his way over. He chose not to comment. Going by her reaction he guessed that she had probably been on the receiving ends of unsavoury comments because of the gesture. But he wanted to be her friend not her superior. Additionally he didn't see anything wrong with it. He had done the same thing when Keith had been in hospital. He understood the comfort in the gesture for yourself, let alone the person in the bed.

“How’s he doing?”

“The same as before.”

“The medics have any idea when he’s going to wake up?”

Allura shook her head, “No.”

Silence fell between the two. He looked at Allura and noticed how exhausted she looked.

“Why don’t you get some rest? Exhausting yourself won’t do you or Lotor any favours.”

“But…”

“If your powers are needed you’ll need to be on top form. Relax, he’s not going anywhere.”

Allura sighed and nodded, “You’re right. Being exhausted won’t help anyone. You’ll tell me if something happens.”

“Of course. You’ve taken responsibility for him so you’ll be the first to know if there are any changes.”

Allura nodded and reluctantly headed out the door. It would do her well to rest and he was thankful that she had listened to his suggestion. She really must have been exhausted. He hoped that she actually did get some rest as he doubted she had gotten any proper rest since starting her stance by Lotor's bedside. If there was anyone that deserved some at the moment it was Allura. Whatever was to happen to Lotor would not happen until after he woke up and he doubted that he would be waking up any time soon. He hoped for Allura’s sake that Lotor healed soon though.

He was now alone in the room with the Galran Prince. He recalled memories of Lotor with the team but knew that they weren’t really his. His personal feelings towards Lotor were mixed. While he was aware of the bad things that he had done, he recalled the warning from the White Lion. Lotor had a bigger part to play in future events and was needed to ensure the best future.

“I hope this all works out.”

He needed it to work out. He had no idea what he would do if he was unsuccessful. He just hoped that he could get others to agree to work with Lotor. He wasn't foolish enough to believe or even ask for them to trust him. He just needed everyone to be willing to work together. He received no reply but he hadn’t been expecting one. Silence filled the room and he quickly felt like he shouldn't be there. He walked out of the room and came to a stop as he exited. Keith stood in front of him, leaning against the wall with his arms folded. Shiro smiled and stepped towards him. He noticed the scowl on his face and knew that Keith didn’t trust Lotor.

“Come here often?”

Keith rolled his eyes and tried to hide the smile growing on his face at the cheesy line. He stepped off the wall and came to a stop in front of Shiro.

“Are you sure about this?”

Shiro shrugged, “It may be our only chance to gain the advantage over Haggar. We need any and all advantages we can get.”

“But?”

“But that doesn’t mean I trust him. He’s an asset but we’ll have to keep a close eye on him.”

Keith nodded and let his arms fall as he nodded, “While I don’t like the fact he’s here, I recognise the value of the information he might have.”

“Thank you.”

Keith looked at him confused before Shiro wrapped his arms around him. He pulled back after a few moments and looked up at Shiro, still confused.

“For trusting me.” Shiro explained as he shrugged again.

“Of course I trust you Shiro. How could I not?”

Shiro smiled before raising a hand to cup Keith’s cheek. His thumb stroked it and Keith tilted his head into the touch. He could see the question in Keith’s eyes.

“I feel for Allura. It’s difficult to be in the position where the one you care about is in hospital.”

Keith nodded but stayed silent. Shiro sighed as he felt emotion rise up his throat.

“If that had been you.”

Keith raised his head and then placed his hands on Shiro’s chest, “Hey, we’re both here and we’re okay.”

Shiro nodded before hugging Keith tightly and trapping his arms between them. He let go when he felt Keith wiggle his fingers. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to Keith’s lips. He felt the emotion slowly lessen as he held Keith in his arms.

A quiet exclamation of “Oh!” came from behind them and they jumped apart. They blushed as did the nurse who rushed passed them. They let out a quiet chuckle as they realised they’d been caught. It wasn’t that they weren’t affectionate, they were, but they did try to be professional in the workplace. It was a struggle for Shiro to keep his hands off of Keith. Touch starvation mixed with grief and longing made the need to touch Keith almost insatiable. Although he was glad Keith seemed to have no objections to the level of physical affection and PDA that they displayed.

They shared a smile at the same time a bridge crew member rounded the corner.

“Captain! You’re needed on the bridge.”

Shiro turned to face her, “I’ll be right there. Thank you.”

She nodded before going on her way. Shiro turned back to Keith and once again kissed him.

“Duty calls.”

He walked away and once again hoped that this all worked out.

* * *

Over the course of the next two weeks everyone became increasingly nervous as Lotor had not only woken up but was slowly getting stronger. He had only spent time with Allura, Coran and a few nurses so far but everyone waited with bated breath to hear what he would say.

Eventually they got word that Lotor was strong enough to meet with the Paladins. And only the Paladins. It seemed the mistrust went both ways.

Everyone filed into a meeting room where Lotor and Allura were already waiting. It escaped nobody’s notice how close the two seemed. It had already been reported to Shiro that Lotor had woken up on one of the rare occasions that Allura had not been in the room and had proceeded to threaten the nurses before Allura had returned and had gotten things back under control.

Everyone in the room was tense seeing Lotor again. No one liked to keep a secret from the rest of the crew, but due to safety concerens they had agreed that keeping his presence a secret was the best course of action.

“So what can you tell us about Haggar’s plans?” Shiro asked, cutting through the tension.

Lotor looked briefly to Allura before sighing and speaking up.

“Her plans are an incoherent mess.”

“Whatever you can tell us will be helpful.”

“She plans to rip apart reality.”

The room exploded as questions were asked over questions and everyone seemed to have something to say.

“Guys! Let him speak.”

“I don’t know when but at some point her memories began to return. She remembers her life as Honerva.”

“Surely that means there’s some way to reach her or something, right?” Hunk asked.

Lotor shook his head, “No. if anything she is more insane then she was before. As her memories returned she realised that she had lost everything she had been fighting for. Zarkon, me. The family she had longed for was gone. Fuelled by the madness, she now has it in her head to tear apart all realties to try and find the chance to live her life all over again. She wants to find the perfect version of us.”

The sneer on Lotor’s face as he spoke of his mother was hard to miss. Everyone sat in stunned silence at the news. The idea that she was going to potentially destroy all reality just for her own selfish desires was almost too incredible to hear.

“You make it sound like this is a relatively new plan.” Keith said as sat with his arms folded.

“From what I gathered it is. All my life she and my father wanted nothing but power and quintessence. The more, the better. It was like a drug to them. There was never enough and eventually everything used quintessence. But with Zarkon gone and her memories returning, her mania has found a new focus. The chance to do it all over. I have no idea what could be fuelling it but she’s gone mad.”

“How do you know all this?” Pidge asked as she readjusted her glasses.

“Because she told me.”

“She just what? Sat you down and told you her evil plan?” Lance questioned.

“No. After you left me in the quintessence field it quickly began to overwhelm and kill me. I don’t know how much time passed before she appeared and took me back to her facility. I could tell I was dying. She could tell as well. She began to ramble about how she couldn’t let that happen and hooked me up to that machine while also pumping me full of quintessence. All the while she kept talking about how none it mattered as we would be together again, we would be a proper family and get the chance we had never gotten in this reality. My body died and I became the machine. While she continually sent me out to do her bidding she still spoke to me, talking about how she would fix it all and how she just needed to get to the Zenith to do so.”

Allura gasped at the same time that Coran exclaimed, “The Zenith?!”

The rest of the Paladins looked at each other confused. They had never heard of such a thing.

“What’s the Zenith?” Lance asked.

“The Zenith is the meeting point of all realities. There you can see any reality you want and manipulate them however you wish.” Coran replied.

“So definitely bad news if she successfully gets there. How exactly does she plan on getting there?” Shiro asked as the news settled uncomfortably for him. He recalled such a thing from his own time but he had never heard of her plan before. To hear it laid out was terrifying. He reached over and grabbed Keith’s knee. Keith’s hand lowered and rested on top of his and he felt a thumb run over his knuckles. It helped to ground him.

“I don’t know. I would assume with the powers she obtained from Oriande.”

“Wait! She has those powers as well?” Allura asked as she turned to face Lotor.

Lotor nodded, “She does but something is wrong with them. She attempted to use them on me to heal me but couldn’t. Besides, if she had them already there would be no need to try and find another way into the Zenith. She would already have the power to enter.”

Everyone mulled over Lotor’s words. So Honerva didn’t have what she needed to get where she wanted. Yet.

“How does she plan on getting into this place?” Keith asked.

“I don’t know. She will either try to break her way in or she’ll need Allura’s help.”

“My help?”

“Yes. She had been targeting you for a while. She knows of the power you possess. She may try to trick you into opening the way for her. But it will take a lot of power to get there.”

“Why? How much power?” Pidge questioned.

“It will take a lot. To enter the Zenith it will require opening a rift.”

“But opening a rift puts the entire universe at risk!” Allura exclaimed.

“Honerva doesn’t care. She has given up on this universe. Her new goal is to find another universe where she gets what she wants.”

“Any ideas on how to stop her?” Shiro asked.

“The Alteans. Most of her power comes from them. If you can get them to change sides, join you, then you may stand a chance of stopping her.”

Silence fell over the group. The same thing was on everyone’s minds, how could they stop her? Also how did he know that they knew about the Altean colonies?

“Why do you care about the Alteans all of a sudden?”

“Lance.” Shiro warned.

“What I’m curious as to why he cares now as opposed to when he was experimenting on them?”

“Experimenting?” Lotor asked.

“Yeah, you know the colony where you were taking Alteans and draining them of quintessence.”

“Lance!” Shiro warmed for a second time.

“I was not experimenting on them. I was experimenting on Sincline.”

“What?” Everyone questioned.

“Yes, Sincline. It is my invention, not Honerva’s. Although she does appear to have made many modifications to it. The plan was never to drain the Alteans of their quintessence while they piloted a Sincline ship.”

“What was the plan?” Shiro asked. Lotor remained silent as he suspiciously eyed Shiro. He looked around the room and the tension was palpable.

“Please, we need to know as much as we can if we are to defeat her. Every detail matters.” Shiro explained.

“Sincline were meant for protection.”

“What do you mean?” Coran asked.

“When I found the Alteans ten thousand years ago, they were being hunted by the Galra. Many of those who had escaped the destruction of Altea had been tracked down and killed by Zarkon’s forces. I didn’t agree with it and when I was old enough I decided to do something about it. I found a small group of Alteans who had managed to hide and I took them to the first colony. Any other Alteans I found I took there as well.”

“Weren’t they hidden in the Quantum Abyss?” Hunk asked.

“Yes. It was the safest location for them and it hid them. The problem was if something went wrong it was almost impossible to get help. I couldn’t let Zarkon know of their existence so left some I trusted in charge. I would tell them what I wanted and trusted they would see it through. I only travelled there myself a handful of times. As the millennia passed and the colony grew so did my research. They needed to be able to defend themselves so I created the Sincline. The idea is that you are both fuel and pilot.”

“Is that why so many died?” Keith said as he glared at Lotor.

“Not as many died as you think. At first when it was first invented, yes a few Alteans died. Every time that happened we would modify Sincline. We tried to figure out a way to stop the pilots from being drained of quintessence. With each modification we tried again. Eventually it seemed like a lost cause. We always attempted to shut Sincline down before it completely drained their quintessence and many recovered. Although they did remain in the second colony to avoid the wrong information being spread to the rest. Eventually I went looking for quintessence. And I found it. A new form of quintessence purer than anything I had ever seen. It was similar in form to the quintessence that fuels Voltron. I managed to get a shipment to the second colony and was told by my scientists that it not only made Sincline a success but also healed the pilots. There were many in hospital that were suffering from quintessence exhaustion. This new quintessence healed them. In fact many of those from the first colony are still alive.”

“So why did it stop?” Coran asked.

“The Quantum Abyss is a dangerous and unpredictable place. It is filled with creatures that are seen nowhere else and capable of unimaginable power and abilities. I assume it was one such creature that stopped it.”

“You think it attacked the colony?” Allura asked.

“No. I believe it attacked my ship. I was sending a second shipment of the new quintessence and never received word that it had arrived. One can only assume the worst in the Abyss.”

“What happens with the quintessence?”

“There would be limited fuel to Sincline and any pilot that attempted to fly it would again be drained of quintessence. I assume Honerva found a way to solve that problem considering the amount of Sincline ships she is using.”

“What about Baldor and Romelle? What about what they witnessed?” Keith asked.

“Who?”

“Two Alteans from your colony. The first was a test pilot by the sounds of it and Romelle was the boy’s sister. He told her that _you_ were responsible for his condition before he died.” Coran explained.

Lotor hummed, “I don’t remember the boy but I do recall an incident in the lab where a pilot escaped. The report I received was that he agreed to pilot but once in Sincline he began to panic and tried to escape. As a result the experiment was shut down and he was released. He continued to panic and say he wanted to go home. He was taken to medic but escaped in the night.”

“So you didn’t drain him on purpose?” Pidge questioned.

“No. None of it was purposeful. But if the boy had waited a few more hours he was due to be administered the quintessence in the morning as a supply had to be brought to medical.”

“You actually tried to save him.”

“Indeed. If the boy had waited he could have eventually contacted his sister.”

“But why build Sincline in the first place if it was just going to drain people?”

“That was never the intention. As I said the Altean colony needed to be protected and who better to protect it than the Alteans themselves? If they could then no one would have known about them and they would’ve been safe.”

“But…”

“But what? Do you honestly believe I would have gone to the trouble of protecting and saving as many Alteans as I could, only to later kill and sacrifice them myself? What purpose would that serve?”

No one could deny he had a point. It didn’t make much sense when he put it like that. Silence fell over the group again as they tried to wrap their minds around what they had just learned. Could they really believe everything Lotor was telling them? Granted it matched some of what Luka had told them but they still felt they needed to take it all with a grain of salt. Could this informatin really be trusted?

“You said there was an Altean girl here?” Lotor asked.

“Yeah, Romelle, But there’s also Luka as well. She was also from the colony. We found her inside one of those robeasts based on Sincline.” Hunk replied.

“And this Romelle the one to tell you this story?”

“Yes. Not that you can do anything to her.” Keith answered.

“I wasn’t planning to. But I think she’ll find that, once you find the second colony, she’ll discover that she is not as alone as she believes.”

No one knew what to say. Lotor had just implied that many of the people that Romelle thought were dead were actually alive.

“About the second colony, what do you believe Haggar’s plans are for them?” Shiro asked, breaking through the tension.

“I don’t know. If I had to guess I would say she is using them as a fuel source. Not just for Sincline robeasts but also for the Zenith as well.”

“Why would she need fuel for that? And how would the Alteans be fuel?”

“Simply put, she needs power. Much like with Sincline quintessence is needed to open a rift to reach the Zenith. It takes an extraordinary amount of power to open and maintain a rift.”

“What are you saying?”

“What I’m saying is that she may be planning on using the Alteans as the power to open the rift.”

“But surely that will kill them!” Allura exclaimed.

“Yes, it would. If you wish to stop her then I suggest you do so before she can open a rift.”

“Any ideas on how to do that?” Keith asked.

“Go after the Alteans. She will need them on her side to achieve her goals. Get them on your side and she shouldn’t have enough power to open a rift.”

“But how do we do that if we can’t find them?” Lance said.

“Didn’t you say you had Alteans from the colony on this ship? Use them. I have no doubt that Honerva has used the fact that she is my mother to her advantage in getting the Alteans on her side.”

“But you’ll need to be involved as well.” Shiro said.

“Will I?”

“Yes. As you said these Alteans are loyal to you. If you’re right and she’s used her connection to you to as a ploy to gain their loyalty then seeing you with us should in theory get most of the Alteans on our side. As you pointed out you didn't spent ten thousand years protecting Alteans just to see them destroyed.”

“No I did not.”

Silence fell and Shiro looked around the room, “All right then, I guess this is over for now. We all need a break as we’ve been at it for a while. We’ll regroup and come up with a more concrete plan.”

He received nods from everyone around the table and people began to get up. Shiro grabbed Keith’s hand and pulled him out of the room.

Once a distance away from the meeting room and in a deserted corridor Shiro stopped and spun around.

“What’s the matter?” He asked as he squeezed Keith’s hand.

Keith looked at the wall for a few seconds before sighing and facing him.

“Do you believe Lotor?”

“I trust the information he’s giving us. By telling the truth he has everything to gain. Lotor’s smart he knows an opportunity when he sees one. Not convinced yourself?”

“It just all feels a bit convenient and easy. I don’t like it.”

Shiro nodded and let go of Keith’s hand to wrap Keith in his arms, “Baby, this may be the only chance we get. We can’t afford to throw it away. We’ll deal with any consequences that come our way and remain on guard. But you’re right that we can’t fully trust Lotor.”

Keith nodded against his chest. With their arms wrapped around each other, Shiro couldn’t help but remember what had happened in his own time. He recalled their own use of the Alteans to open a rift and how Allura had sacrificed herself to save reality. He hoped he could change it as he didn’t want to be responsible for the deaths of any Alteans and certainly wanted to save Allura. He knew now that they were entering the final stretch. Soon his time in this world would be over and the Shiro that was still buried would get his life back. He tightened his arms around Keith at the thought of leaving him because he didn’t want to go. No matter how much he knew that he had to. He knew he had to give his younger self his life back, even if the thought of leaving Keith made his heart ache.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I feel like we're getting towards the end of the events of season 8. But that doesn't mean I'll be done with this story. I have quite a few ideas for the epilogue.
> 
> Although I do have a confession - I can't remember what order the events of season 8 were in. I also can't really remember much of season 8 (thankfully) so I'll make it up as I go. I'm a sucker for trying to follow canon but its difficult when you can't actually remember what happens. I do have a vague idea though.
> 
> The companion piece I talked about earlier is still being written. Not sure when it will be up but I'll try to get a chapter of it out soon.


	21. Chapter 21

“So what’s the plan? How are we going to get the Alteans on our side?” Lance asked.

It was the same question that was always asked during meetings over the past couple of weeks. No-one seemed to have a good answer. The main problem they had was that no-one could figure out how to get close to the colony without Honerva finding out. Even the idea of sending Luka back alone had been floated before being shut down. So what could they do?

“Can’t we just send Lotor back to them and get them to change their minds?” Pidge asked after an extended silence had followed Lance’s question.

“My mother is nothing if not manipulative. If I went back with you all then she could try to spin it as you had brainwashed me or captured me.” Lotor responded.

“But what has she been telling them about your absence?” Keith asked.

“I can answer that. She blamed it all on you. She said that you had killed him and that we had one chance of getting him back if we defeated you.” Luka explained.

“But surely by Lotor returning some will come to our side.” Allura pondered.

“Some but not all. We need as many as possible on our side.” Lotor replied.

“What if I came with you?” Allura wondered.

“No. She wants you for some reason. If she can get you in her grasp then I fear what she has planned for you.” Lotor rebutted.

“What if Lotor and Luka went in. If we use Voltron and ATLAS as a distraction near the colony then Lotor and Luka can get in as they should know the way.” Keith suggested.

“What if there is a complication?” Lotor questioned.

“You won’t be alone. You’ll have back up.”

“In what form?”

“Me. I didn’t train with the Blades for nothing. I can infiltrate and be your cover in case anything goes wrong.”

“Well, I would be intrigued to see what the young Blade can do.”

“Are we sure about this? I mean I trust Keith and all but you’ll be on your own in there.” Hunk said.

“I’ll be fine.” Keith replied.

“But what if they betray you?” Lance asked. He received glares from Lotor and Luka for his question.

“They won’t know where I am, just that I’m there and near.” Keith responded. He felt Shiro’s hand on his knee and knew that Shiro felt uneasy about sending him into enemy territory alone. But this was war and they had no choice but to take these kinds of missions. He'd been trained by the Blades well and trusted the skills he’d learned. Nothing would stop him from returning to Shiro, and his family.

“I don’t like it but it’s the only plan we have. We need to work out the details and it’ll be a good plan.” Shiro said.

“What about Voltron?” Pidge asked.

“What about it?” Lance responded.

“If Keith is with Lotor and Luka then who will be flying the Lion that Keith won’t be in? Plus if we are planning on having the ATLAS transform then Shiro needs to be here. He won’t be able to fly Black. We need five Paladins to form and fly Voltron.” Shiro said.

“ATLAS is a battleship even without transforming. Granted she’s not as agile as when she’s transformed but she’s still quite capable of handling a fight.” Coran explained.

“Okay then. Coran, you’ll helm the ATLAS while I fly Black. If we have Keith, Lotor and Luka in one of the Lions then we can drop them on the ground before engaging with the robeasts. I’ll fly Black while Lance and Allura can fly Red and Blue respectively. That way every position is covered. Everyone okay with that?”

The rest of the group nodded their consent to the plan. The rest of the meeting was spent working out the finer details. Lotor and Luka told them what they recalled of the second colony. It wasn’t a lot but it was enough to give Keith a rough idea of where he could hide and monitor the situation. It was also decided that Voltron and ATLAS would be used to draw out the Sincline robeasts and get them as far away from the colony as possible.

They just hoped it worked as it was the only plan that they could come up with that.

* * *

ATLAS followed the coordinates to the colony and stationed itself above the planet.

“Okay. Everyone knows their roles today. If this is successful then we will have whole load of new passengers on board. This will be a tough fight but each of you knows what to do. I trust you all.” Shiro’s speech finished and everyone moved to their stations. He and the other Paladins made their way to the Lion’s hangar. As they reached Shiro and Keith broke away for a few moments.

“Be careful out there.” Shiro said before pressing a kiss to Keith’s lips.

“You too.”

“I’ll be here when you get back. Notify me if you need help.”

“I know Captain.” Keith teased before kissing Shiro and then continuing towards the Black Lion’s hangar.

Lotor and Luka were waiting for them when they arrived.

“Shall we?” Lotor asked as the Black Lion lowered its head and let them enter.

Shiro opened the channel to the bridge, “Hey Coran. We’re all ready here.”

“Good to know, Number One. ATLAS will begin its descent onto the planet now.”

“Affirmative.”

With that the Paladins waited in the Lions while the ATLAS descended. Once the ATLAS has come to a stop the Lions raced out and headed in the direction that Luka had indicated previously.

“All right team. We should be coming up to buildings soon. Be on guard.” Shiro ordered through the comms.

“Yeah, be careful guys. We don’t know if they know we’re here.” Hunk said. No sooner had the words come out his mouth then something came hurtling their way, “I think they know we’re here.”

“Alright, you know what to do.” Shiro said as the Black Lion avoided a blast from one of the three robeasts that appeared in front of them.

He swerved and dived out of the way. The others were doing the same.

“Don’t forget that there will be Alteans inside each of these machines. If you do attack them, don’t aim for the centre of the chest. Not only is that where the Alteans will be but also the power core.” Lotor revealed over comms.

“Power core?” Pidge asked as the Green Lion narrowly avoided a direct hit.

“The quintessence that fuels this machines goes to an internal power core which serves as the engine. It’s located above the pilot in the centre of the chest. If you damage it, it will explode.”

“You couldn’t have revealed that earlier!”

“It slipped my mind.”

Everyone sent glares to Lotor with that.

Everyone avoided the blasts coming there way as best they could. They continued to take heavy fire and Shiro couldn’t see an opening to let his passengers out.

“We need an opening.” Shiro called out.

Suddenly fire came from behind them as the ATLAS arrived.

“We’ve got you covered Paladins.”

“Thank you Coran.” Allura said breathless.

Shiro quickly set the Black Lion down and allowed his passengers to exit. Once they were off he rejoined the fight.

“Paladins, let’s form Voltron.”

Voltron was formed and joined the fight beside the ATLAS. They blasted the robeasts, mindful of the warning that Lotor had given them. It made them feel lucky they had missed it when they went after Sincline.

They continued to avoid attacks while also attacking the robeasts. Every one of them was mindful of the fact that they didn’t want to kill these Alteans while also stopping the robeasts. They hoped that Lotor, Luka and Keith accomplished their goal soon.

* * *

On the ground the three made their way to the facility. Shiro had dropped them close but now they needed to get inside. They made their way to the facility and climbed onto the roof.

They broke in and quietly made their way through the halls to the main area. Keith didn’t hide his shock when he saw the large amount of Alteans in the hall. It was far more than he was expecting. There was easily several thousand Alteans.

“Now is our time.”

Lotor and Keith looked at each other and looked to the raised level, the stage, which is where Honerva’s voice had come from. They looked at each other again before nodding. Keith slipped away and hid while Lotor prepared to step out. Luka remained close to the wall as she waited for Lotor's signal.

He could hear his mother giving some kind of speech. He had no interest in what she was saying but knew that he had to take the chance to save as many Alteans as he could. He was not going to sit by while she ruined everything he had tried to build.

“We shall get our revenge from those that took Lotor from us.” Honerva said. Her words were received with thunderous applause and cheers.

“Shall you?” Gasps and whispers broke out as Lotor stepped out, “Really mother, no welcome for me.”

“Lotor.”

“I expected a warmer welcome.”

“What are you doing here? How are you here?”

Lotor smirked, “I figured I should pay a visit to the colony I have tried to protect for so long. Well, that and repay you for keeping me in Sincline. Your imprisonment of me allowed Voltron to reach me and rescue me. I am free because of them. After all, what was it you said after you wired me to that machine? Nothing in this reality mattered.”

The whispers picked up at his words and he knew he had some of the Alteans, but he needed them all.

“You lie. I gave you a gift. I made sure you survived!”

“You trapped me! Used me as fuel for your sick games!”

“You ungrateful brat! My plan will succeed!”

Lotor smirked as the familiar words washed over him. He knew she was beginning to slip. He couldn’t help but wonder if she had presented herself to the colony as his doting mother. He would smash that façade.

“And what plan is that? Whatever you’re planning I want no part of it. You and Zarkon were never parents to me. You may be responsible for my existence but you were too consumed by your need for quintessence.”

“I will find us another reality. A reality where we can be a family. You, me and your father.”

Lotor shook his head, “No mother. If it means sacrificing this reality I want no part of it.”

“I would gladly sacrifice everything and everyone to find the perfect reality. I don’t care what it takes! We will be a family again!”

“Is that why you trapped me in Sincline?!”

“It was for your own good!”

Honerva gritted her teeth as Lotor defied her. She would not put up with his insolence.

“I needed your power to open up the way to the Zenith. With you and these Alteans I could’ve reached it and found us the perfect reality.”

Lotor shook his head. He was glad that she was revealing her plan but he almost felt pity for her. After a life consumed by quintessence she still only wanted more power.

“Enough! This ends here!”

“You ungrateful boy!”

Her words were followed by a magical attack being sent his way. He had seen it coming and managed to dodge it.

Gasps broke out once again as the Alteans were forced to watch as mother and son attacked each other. Murmurs followed as they tried and failed to make sense of what was happening. Honerva had promised them revenge for Lotor but here he was opposing her. So what did they do? Did they side with Lotor or Honerva?

As the Alteans questioned what they should do and who they should support Lotor and Honerva continued to fight. Keith watched from the shadows and wondered when would be the best time to intervene.

“Guys, how are you doing out there?” He asked through the comms.

“Keith? We’re good, could be better but we’re good.” Shiro replied, “How are things with Lotor?”

“Tense. He and his mother are fighting and the Alteans haven’t moved. I have no idea if we have them on side or not.”

“Well, could you hurry it up? We’re still dealing with two robeasts.” Lance exclaimed. Keith couldn’t help but roll his eyes at him.

A large spark and then a boom stopped him from replying. He put up his mask and waited for the smoke to clear. The Alteans couldn’t believe what they were seeing.

Honerva hovered over Lotor as he struggled to get up from the floor. A cut was visible on the side of his forehead and Honerva looked to strike again.

“So this is what it’s come to? I expected more from you mother.” Lotor said as he slowly got to his feet.

“Do not act as if you are so noble. You were just as quick as me to sacrifice these Alteans and anyone who got in your way.”

“I must confess while I am willing to sacrifice others for my own cause, I have not done so with the Alteans. I regret that a few have died during the Sincline experiment but it is for the greater good. If a few have to die to ultimately protect the rest then it is a noble sacrifice. But I did not save the Alteans ten thousand years ago to watch you sacrifice them now! That is a sacrifice I will not accept!”

He rushed at his mother who was prepared for an attack. She teleported to the other side of the stage.

“You’re lucky it’s a sacrifice I _am_ willing to make. Think about the chance to start over, to be a family again.”

“How many times do I have to tell you no!”

The murmurs from the Alteans were louder than before and both Keith and Lotor could just about make out several angry faces. Lotor smirked as he realised he had them. He attacked Honerva again and she teleported again.

She went to stab Lotor in the back but Keith was quicker. He came out of his hiding spot and blocked her attack with his sword. Honerva gritted her teeth at the sight of the intruder. She seemed to recognise who was stood in front of her.

“You side with Voltron?”

“Well, they did get me out of Sincline, and it’s not like it’s the first time I’ve done so.” Lotor responded to his mother’s question.

Keith lunged at her and she teleported away. Lotor and Keith stood ready for an attack hat didn’t come. After a few moments they dropped their stances.

“You think she’s gone?”

“For now. But I’m sure she’ll return.”

Lotor looked at the Alteans and turned towards them.

“You see now what her great plan was. To sacrifice you all for her own gain. You were mere pawns in her plan but I can offer you another way. My mother seeks to destroy reality, sacrifice us all, all to obtain what she long ago threw away. But I offer you survival. Join us. Alongside Voltron we can stop her. I was telling the truth when I said I seek to ensure the survival of all Alteans. So what do you say?”

Intially he was met with silence. Luka chose that moment to step out, "It's true. Everything he said is true. Join us and live or side with the witch and die. She seeks nothing but her own glory and has forgotten all but her own insanity. Now is the time to choose for ourselves instead of our fates being decided for us. So what do you say?! Do you side with Lotor?! Do you choose to live?!"

It was a few moments before a loud cheer broke out. Keith watched the scene and was almost impressed. If he didn’t know what Lotor was capable of then he would believe his words. But it was obvious that these Alteans were loyal to Lotor. It meant that as long as he was on their side so were they. Luka had clearly made an impact with her presence and words. He hadn't missed the shocked looks that many Alteans had worn when she had stepped out. He wouldn't be surprised if the Alteans had been told that she had been killed by Voltron. Keith stopped listening to Lotor’s words as he explained their next step. He stepped away and contacted the other Paladins.

“How’s everyone out there?”

“Good. We managed to get all three robeasts down and are trying to get inside them now.” Shiro replied, “How are things with you?”

“A success. Lotor managed to get the Alteans on side but I think it’s best if we move them from this location. Is there enough room on the ATLAS?”

“Depends on how many there are. Why do you want to move them anyway?”

“This looks to be Haggar’s base of operations. If they stay they may be vulnerable to anything she decides to do. Best we move them to another location. “

“They going to be okay with that?”

“They’re going to have to be. It’s in their best interest. Beside there seems to be a several thousand of them.”

“Several thousand?” Allura exclaimed, her voice wobbly at the news.

Keith felt for Allura as he heard her gasp. She had spent so long believing that there were only a handful of Alteans left and now she was finding out that there was a healthy population of Alteans alive.

“The ATLAS can transport them but they will need somewhere to go. Where will we be taking them?” Shiro said.

Silence fell as everyone tried to think of where to send the Alteans.

“What about the planet that the Castle Of Lions was on?” Hunk suggested.

“Will the inhabitants be alright with that? I mean it’s one thing to house a couple of Alteans but could we really ask them to house an entire population?” Pidge responded.

“We’ll have to ask as the ATLAS can’t house that many for an extended period of time.” Shiro replied, “How far away is that planet anyway?”

“It’s surprisingly not too far away. We should be able to get there relatively quickly.” Pidge explained.

“Okay. So that’s what we’ll do.”

“Okay. It’ll help if we can do this without Honerva finding out where we take them. We’ll have to be careful.” Keith said.

“Understood.” Was the response he got from everyone.

He returned to the stage where it appeared Lotor was done talking and waiting for him.

“Let’s get everyone outside. ATLAS can carry them all to a new location, safe from Haggar. That way she’ll lose her quintessence supply and they’ll be protected.”

Lotor nodded his approval and it wasn’t long before almost every free space in the ATLAS contained an Altean. No one could blame Allura and Coran for looking a bit overwhelmed as more and more Alteans boarded. It had been their dream to find survivors and now they didn’t know what to do with themselves.

As the Alteans were taken care of, Voltron went ahead to the planet and got the okay to house the Alteans there. Safe to say it was a busy few days as they got the Alteans settled in their new, albeit temporary, homes.

Morale was also at a high as Haggar had lost a valuable resource. But no one was willing to rest. Who knew what she would do next?


	22. Chapter 22

Honerva gritted her teeth as she teleported into her ship. She couldn’t believe the nerve of Lotor. Everything she was doing, she was doing for him! Why did he have to be so ungrateful?! Why was he not more appreciative of her efforts?!

It didn’t matter though. Her plans would succeed with or without his help. She didn’t need him around anymore to succeed. Besides, once she found the perfect reality none of this would matter. She would get her family back. They would finally have the chance to be happy.

She turned when she heard footsteps. She smiled when she saw her two lieutenants stood before her. They rested their right fists over their hearts and bowed.

“Your majesty, welcome back.”

Honerva nodded, “What news do you bring?”

“It appears that all the Alteans have defected. They have all joined Voltron.”

Honerva sneered at the news and then scoffed, “It matters not. We got everything we needed from them.”

“What about Lotor and the Princess?”

“We do not need them right now. They have a part to play that will come later. For now we prepare for the next step.”

“Of course, your Majesty.”

“We must be patient. It will take time to open a rift to the Zenith.”

“Do we have enough quintessence for that?”

“No.”

The two lieutenants looked at each other confusedly then looked back at Honerva. Before they could voice their questions Honerva began to speak again.

“We may not have enough quintessence to open a rift but we have enough to execute my plan. We don’t need to open the rift ourselves, we just need Voltron to believe that we have. Then when they open one to follow us we can follow behind them.”

“What about once we get inside?”

“Once inside the Zenith has ways of dealing with intruders. With that as a distraction it will afford us the opportunity we need.”

A sadistic smile spread across her face and the lieutenants smiled as well. It was only a matter of time until their plan succeeded. But now she would need to focus on the next part of her plan. She needed to figure out a way to convince Voltron that she had been successful in reaching the Zenith.

* * *

“Well, I’m exhausted.” Lance said as he flopped down onto the sofa behind him.

“You and everyone else.” Pidge replied as she took a seat at the opposite end of the sofa.

The other Paladins also sat down and allowed themselves to relax for the first time that day. Sorting the Alteans out had taken longer than they thought and they were all exhausted. They needed a break but knew that they could be called to action at any moment. They sat in silence and enjoyed not having to move for a few moments. But the silence quickly grew boring.

“So what shall we do?” Lance asked as he stretched and yawned.

“What about a movie night? It’s been a long time since we had one of those.” Hunk suggested excitedly, “I could go make some popcorn.”

“Sorry guys, but unfortunately I need to get back to the bridge. Demands of a Captain never stop.” Shiro said as he got up.

“Aww. Come on, Shiro. When was the last time you took a break?” Lance asked.

Shiro thought about it. When was the last time he took a proper break? It was probably the Carnival and that had been a while ago. His thoughts were interrupted by Lance.

“That’s it. If you have to think about it that long then you are definitely in need of a break. Come on, it’ll be fun.”

Lance could see Shiro was hesitating, “Keith, come on man, get your boyfriend to relax for one evening. It’s just a few hours. It won’t kill him.”

Keith glared at Lance before turning his gaze on Shiro. No one missed the way Keith appeared to melt as he looked up at him.

“I think the ATLAS can manage without for a few hours. Besides, it’s not like you’ve left the ship and you’re available if you’re needed.” He reasoned.

Shiro stared at Keith for a few moments then sighed, “Fine. Movie night sounds fun.”

“Yes. But really? Keith really does have you wrapped around his little finger, doesn’t he?” Lance teased.

Shiro’s cheeks turned red as he sat down, “Shut up.”

Everyone laughed as Shiro settled which allowed Keith to cuddle into his side. He couldn’t resist smiling down at his boyfriend as Pidge got the movie ready and moved to the floor. The lights were turned out and the opening credits started when Lotor walked passed the room.

“What are you doing?” He asked as he stood in the doorway.

“Watching a movie.” Allura replied.

Lotor lifted his eyebrow at that. Coran twisted his moustache, “It’s fascinating really. Humans created these movies which depict fictional scenarios for entertainment. The Paladins have been showing us a few.”

“Why don’t you join us?” Shiro suggested.

“Yeah, get a taste of a bit of Earth. Got popcorn too.” Hunk said as he held up the popcorn bowl after pausing the movie.

“Popcorn?” Lotor asked.

“Another Earth delicacy. It’s quite delicious, especially when flavoured.” Coran replied.

Lotor took a few steps into the room and found a seat on the furthest end of one of the sofas. He sat stiffly and continued to wonder what was going on. Pidge looked around and rolled her eyes.

“You don’t have to sit so stiffly you know. You can relax. We don’t bite.”

Lotor rolled his eyes but said nothing.

“Okay, everyone settled?” Hunk asked. Most of them nodded and he pressed play.

The group slowly relaxed as the movie played and Shiro couldn’t help but sneak a glance around the group. Pidge was on her stomach on the floor watching the movie, Hunk and Coran were sat next to each other, Lance was reclining on the sofa, Allura sat close to Lotor and shyly offered him the popcorn which he took with some trepidation. Shiro sat back with Keith’s head on his chest and an arm wrapped around him and he couldn’t have been happier.

He still couldn’t believe that this ragtag group had somehow managed to come together. It was nothing like what he had experienced in his own time and he was sadder for it. It filled him with so much joy to see them all relaxing and having a good time together. He couldn’t believe that he had missed all of this. He was glad to have gotten it now but he felt foolish for allowing them all to drift apart.

He barely paid attention to the movie and could feel his eyes growing heavier. In the moment before he fell asleep he couldn’t help but think about how happy he was that his family was all together.

Keith felt Shiro’s grip slackened and looked up to see him asleep. He smiled at the sight and was glad that Shiro had decided to stay, especially if he was tired enough to fall asleep fifteen minutes into the movie.

Keith put his attention back on the movie. It was peaceful until another halfway through.

“This doesn’t make any sense.” Lotor said.

“It makes sense in the context of the movie.” Lance replied.

“But none of the technology is accurate or possible.”

Lance groaned, “It’s not about what’s actually possible. It’s just got to make sense in the movie, not in our world.”

“Plus the whole thing is about entertainment. It doesn’t have to make sense.” Pidge added.

Lotor grumbled as he sat back. He still had no idea what was going on and while he could admit it was fun to watch but it didn’t make any sense. Humans were an odd species he decided.

They went back to watching the movie. The chance to relax was something that they all needed. Who knew what Honerva's next move would be or when she would make it? They knew they had to be prepared. It was something that remained in the backs of everyone's minds as they sat together and enjoyed their evening off.

Little did they know that this would be the last opportunity for relaxation they had. 


	23. Chapter 23

Several days passed and Honerva had made no move. Her silence mixed with the fact that nobody knew where she had gone had put everyone on edge. The only options they had were to train and wait for her to do something. A lot of people’s time was taken up by monitoring the planet they had left the Alteans on to ensure that they remained safe from her.

It had hit Allura the most as she worried about her people, her powers and if she was strong enough to protect the people she cared about. Even her dreams had begun to be shaped by her worries. They took terrifying turns as she was forced to watch as her people were drained, her family destroyed and her works once again take away from her.

In her dreams she watched as the Paladins fell in battle, Voltron destroyed and her people massacred. Each time she woke up gasping. It was beginning to take a physical toll and no one knew how to help her.

One dream in particular was especially vivid. It was where she saw Honerva get into the Zenith.

Alarms suddenly blared through the ATLAS but this didn’t wake Allura.

Meanwhile on the bridge crew attempted to figure out what was going on.

“Status report.” Shiro ordered as he stood at the centre console.

“It appears the ATLAS registered a massive energy wave. Far larger than anything we’ve seen before.” Sam explained as he typed furiously.

“Could it have been a supernova?”

“No. This was far larger than any supernova Earth has ever registered.”

“Then what?...”

Shiro didn’t finish his question before Lotor burst into the room.

“Allura is not waking up.” Lotor stated.

“What?” Shiro asked.

“I went to check on her and I couldn’t wake her up.”

“Is it possible she’s doing this?”

“I don’t know. It may be my mother also.”

The words rested uneasily over the bridge crew. Shiro looked between them and Lotor as he tried to figure out the next cause of action. His eyes were drawn to the Paladins as they entered the bridge.

“Okay. Coran, Sam you try to figure this energy we felt out. Everyone else stabilise the ship. Paladins, Lotor you’re with me. Let’s go and help Allura.”

Everyone nodded and made moves to follow his orders. The Paladins made their way to Allura’s room and Shiro explained the situation to them as they made their way there. They entered her room and it was obvious she was in distress.

“What can we do?” Hunk asked as they all stood around the bed.

“I don’t know. Is there any way you can help her?” Shiro asked.

Lotor shook his head, “I have tried. But all attempts have been unsuccessful thus far.”

Shiro nodded and the group fell into silence. How could they help their friend? They were silent for a few minutes as they tried to come up with ideas when Allura’s distress visibly lessened. They waited with bated breaths. Was she waking up?

Allura’s eyes snapped open, she sat bolt upright gasping. Lotor and Lance were on either side of her bed as they were ready to help. Allura gripped her chest and tried to regulate her breathing. She didn’t immediately notice that people were around her.

Her breathing calmed down and she looked around surprised to see everyone around her.

“Allura, are you alright?” Lance asked.

She turned to him and nodded. Allura ran her hands over her face and noticed that she was shaking.

“Allura, are you sure? Lotor said he couldn’t wake you up and we just had alarms blare at an abnormal energy reading.” Shiro said as he stood at the end of her bed. Allura’s head snapped up at his words.

“Energy reading?”

“Yes. It was so large it set off the alarms. We thought it was a supernova but it was too large. We’re still trying to figure it out.”

Allura shook her head and looked down into her lap, “It can’t be.” She whispered.

“What can’t be?” Hunk asked.

Allura looked at Lotor, “Did you feel it?”

Lotor nodded, “I did.”

“Allura?” Keith asked.

She looked at them all and back to Lotor, who nodded, and then back at the Paladins.

“It’s alright Allura. Take your time.” Shiro said.

She nodded and took a deep breath, “I think I know what caused the energy surge.”

“What?”

“I think it was Honerva.”

“What makes you say that?”

“In my dream I saw her enter the Zenith through a rift. I’m beginning to think that it wasn’t a dream.”

“How would she have the power to do that?” Keith asked.

“My mother is nothing if not resourceful. I’m sure that this has been what she’s been building up to.” Lotor replied.

“Okay, so she’s in the Zenith. But how do we go after her? I mean, it’s going to take a lot of power to open a rift. Where would we get that power from?” Hunk asked.

Silence fell over the group as they considered their options.

“From me.” Allura said.

“That will kill you and I’m not willing to put you in danger.” Shiro replied.

“I can also use quintessence from the Lions and ATLAS. Together it should be enough.”

“Are you sure about this?”

Allura nodded.

“Unfortunately it’s not like we have much of a choice. Not when all of reality is at stake.” Keith said as he turned towards Shiro.

Shiro nodded at him before turning to Allura, “Okay then. You’ll need to gather your strength to do this. Just let me know when you’re ready.”

Shiro turned to the other Paladins, “We’ll get the ship and the Lions ready. This may be the biggest fight we’ve ever had and the chance to end this war. Rest up and be ready.”

The others nodded and they headed out leaving Lance and Lotor with Allura. Shiro returned to the bridge to update the crew and the Paladins went to the Lions.

It wasn’t until the next day that Allura came to him and told him she was ready. With that preparations began. It was a surprise to him to find that the bridge of the ATLAS had transformed into an almost exact replica of the control room of the Castle of Lions. Allura stood in the centre with Lotor close behind her. Shiro and the other Paladins stood close by. The bridge crew had been relocated to another part of the ship that ATLAS had decided to locate their work stations. No one was entirely sure how the ATLAS had done it but no one questioned it considering what it was they were about to do.

Allura took a deep breath and placed her hands over the panels beside her. She looked behind her at those who were her team, her family. They each nodded and she nodded back. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes to draw on her power. She began to glow and her eyes did the same when she opened them. Lotor concentrated as well and the marks on his face glowed.

She turned to them slightly, “I’ll open a rift but I will need all the quintessence I can get, from us, the Lions and the ATLAS. Be prepared for the ship to power down. It will also weaken you but it will allow me to do this. This is our one shot. Our one chance to put a stop to Honerva and her plans once and for all.”

“We’re with you Allura. Once you give the signal Kosmo will take each of us to our Lions and we’ll enter the rift. We just wait on your signal.” Keith replied.

Allura nodded and turned back to the front, “Okay, then let us begin.”

Allura began to concentrate on the quintessence around her and drawing on as much of it as she could. She absorbed any that she could feel and collected it and directed it in front of her. She felt the power flow through her as she concentrated on trying to create a rift.

The Paladins watched in amazement as Allura glowed brighter as she collected more quintessence. They glowed themselves as it flowed from them and to Allura. The lights on the deck went out as the ship powered down. Within seconds the emergency power came on which supported the artificial gravity and life support systems on the ship. Each Paladin could feel the Lions growing fainter as their quintessence was drained.

“Now!” Allura yelled and poured all the power out of her and into the space in front of them.

It took several minutes but soon a rift began to appear in front of them. The Paladins watched in awe as it grew bigger. Eventually it grew big enough that it could easily fit in the ATLAS. However it was in no fit state to fly or move from its current position.

“Alright Paladins. When I pull away we will only have a few minutes to get into the Lions and enter the Zenith. Whatever we encounter on the other side we will need all our strength.”

Keith strokes Kosmo’s head and nodded to him as Allura released the panels. In a flash he and Shiro were inside the Black Lion. He sat down in the pilot seat with Shiro behind him. Kosmo teleported away and each of the Paladins appeared on the screen one by one. Lotor joined Allura in the Blue Lion.

“Okay Paladins. Let’s do this.” Keith commanded and they all propelled the Lions forward.

“Good luck Paladins.” Coran said before he disconnected and the comms were closed between them all.

It wasn’t lost on anyone that the Lions felt more sluggish than normal. They propelled the Lions as fast as possible as the rift began to shrink. Each of the Lions made their way in the rift and they soon found themselves in an odd location. It was bathed in a pastel pink light. It looked like it both went on forever and was enclosed. The walls, or whatever they were, looked a lot like clouds.

“Uhh, guys. Anyone else not getting any response from their Lion?” Hunk asked worriedly over the comms.

The others tried to get their Lions to move from where they had landed but found that they couldn’t. They were left with no other choice then leave the Lions and explore on foot. They met outside the Lions and made the decision to remove their helmets.

“So where are we?” Shiro asked.

Allura opened her mouth to answer when malicious laughter rang out.

“We are in the Zenith. I must thank you, Princess. Without you I would not have been able to reach here.” Honerva said as she laughed again.

Allura stood horrified before realisation struck her, “No!”

“Yes.”

Allura rushed towards Honerva who teleported away just far enough that it allowed Allura to continue chasing her.

“Allura!” Lotor yelled and chased after her. The Paladins stepped forward to give chase when a fog enveloped them.

They each yelled out but got no responses. They saw movement in the fog and each headed towards it but instead of the others they came face to face with their own doppelgängers. Weapons were drawn and it looked like they were in for a fight.


	24. Chapter 24

Shiro blocked a blow from his doppelgänger and wondered how they could go after Allura. He was knocked back as the doppelgänger attacked again.

“Don’t go getting distracted on me now. It wouldn’t be any fun.” The doppelgänger taunted before attacking again.

Shiro gritted his teeth and tried to attack. It hit its mark and the doppelgänger stumbled back. Despite the successful attack a sinister grin made its way onto the doppelgänger’s face.

“I wonder what Keith would think if he knew he was with a killer?”

Shiro stared at him and tried to keep a blank expression on his face. It was his greatest fear that Keith would one day decide he couldn’t deal with all Shiro had done and decide to leave him. The doppelgänger smiled again and Shiro realised that he was trying to get under his skin. He attacked and tried to not let the words bother him. The battle raged and he couldn’t help but wonder about the others. Was Keith alright? Was Allura? Were the others?

“Do you really think you’ll be able to succeed in saving her? Surely you have to know that you’re only going to wind up repeating the future you’re trying to prevent. I wonder what Keith would do if he found out about the way you left him. That you abandoned him the way you promised him you never would. That you married the man responsible for the Galra invasion of Earth. Do you think he'd stay with you if he knew?”

Shiro attacked and stood staring at the man in front of him, “How do you know about that?”

“I know about everything. I’m in your head.”

The battle commenced once again. The two fought hard when the ground shook. They both stumbled and gritted their teeth. The doppelgänger seemed particularly annoyed at the tremors. Shiro just hoped everyone else was okay. The doppelgänger looked in the direction Allura and Lotor had run off in for a split second after the tremors ended. Shiro used the distraction to his advantage and tackled his doppelgänger. He grabbed his weapon and plunged it through his chest.

Shiro watched as the man beneath him gasped his last breaths before seeming to fade into the cloud-like structure they were inside of. He dropped the weapon and that too disappeared.

With his doppelgänger defeated he stood up and looked around. The fog that had enveloped them was still present and he couldn’t see any sign of the others.

“Keith!”

Nothing.

“KEITH!”

Shiro moved forward and hoped that he was moving towards someone he knew.

“Lance! Pidge! Hunk! Anyone!”

His calls continued to be answered with silence. He moved forward. His need to find the others growing with every step. When he heard it…

“Shiro!”

It was faint but he was sure that it was Keith.

“Keith! Keith I’m over here!”

Slowly the fog lessened and he could see a silhouette in the distance. He ran towards it hoping it was one of his friends. The fog parted and disappeared and he was unable to describe the relief he felt when he saw Keith stood in front of him. The first thing he noticed was that Keith had clearly been through a fight. But it was his eyes that caught his attention. They had the familiar hard edge to them that Keith used to get when he got into fights during his cadets days at the Garrison. It made Shiro worry about what Keith had experienced. Had he been through the same thing as him? If he had, had his double used his fears against him?

He grabbed Keith as soon as he was within reach and hugged him tightly. He felt Keith wrap his arms around him and hugged back just as tightly. He pulled back and kissed Keith on the lips, forehead and the top of his head. He had to reassure himself that Keith was okay. He took a moment to breath in the scent of Keith’s hair before releasing him and taking a step back.

“What happened to you?” Shiro asked.

“I had to fight some kind of doppelgänger. They seemed to know our thoughts.” Keith answered.

“Same happened with me. I have a feeling they may have been one of the way’s this place protects itself. Let’s hope we don’t have to find out what else this place can do?”

The last word had just left Shiro’s mouth when the most violent tremor rocked the ground. The two stumbled but managed to stay upright.

“Those have been getting more violent.” Keith stated.

“They have. During my fight the doppelgänger looked in the direction Allura had run off in when one stopped. I wonder if it has something to do with whatever is happening with Honerva. I hope she and Lotor are able to stop Honerva or at least slow her down.”

“I hope so too. Let’s find the rest of the team.”

The two looked around but couldn’t see anything. Despite the fact that they had found each other the fog seemed to envelope the rest of the area they were in. They picked a direction and began to walk. It wasn’t long before they came across Hunk.

“Hunk! Are you alright?” Keith asked as he rushed to his friend’s side.

Hunk sat on the ground and taking in many deep breaths, “Yeah. Tough fight. What even was that?”

“We think it was one of the measures this place has to defend itself. We think the tremors are to do with Honerva.” Shiro explained as he and Keith helped Hunk to stand.

“Weird. I hope that the others are okay.”

“Us too.”

“How did you guys find me?”

Keith and Shiro shrugged.

“With the fog shrouding everything we just walked in a random direction and came across you.” Shiro explained, “Let’s hope finding the others is just as easy.”

Keith and Hunk nodded and the three set off in a random direction. They soon found Pidge kneeling on the ground.

“Pidge, are you okay?” Hunk called as he ran over to her.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Are you guys alright?”

“Yeah we’re all fine.”

Pidge nodded and stood up. She looked around, “Where’s Lance?”

“We have yet to find him. But he can’t be far. At least I hope not.” Shiro said.

And Shiro was right. They walked a short distance and found Lance lying on the ground.

“Lance!” Pidge exclaimed and ran over to him to check him over. The others stood over as Lance looked up at them.

“Hey guys.”

“You alright Lance?” Keith asked.

“Yep. Just took a little break after the fight.”

“Great. Now get up. We need to find Allura.”

That got Lance up. He stood up and looked at the others, “What are we waiting for?”

The fog that had surrounded the group seemed to disappear at that point. A path opened up in front of them and a light seemed to shine out from the end of it. They looked at each other and then at the path. They nodded to one another and walked along it. However they hadn’t gotten far when the tremors started again. This time they lasted longer and were becoming more frequent. The group started running towards the light and hoped that whatever was happening didn’t mean they were too late. This was one fight that they couldn't afford to lose.

When they reached the end of the path and it opened up into a large room with what looked to be some kind of central hub in the middle. Whatever this place was it seemed clear that it seemed to be the heart of the Zenith. Keith shook his head as he felt the waves of quintessence coming from the centre point. Allura and Lotor were both unconscious on the floor and Honerva was nowhere to be seen. She had to have succeeded in entering the different realities. The very idea shook everyone but their main concern was their friends on the ground.

“Allura!” They all yelled and made their way over to the Princess.

“Allura! Are you alright?!” Lance asked as he knelt down beside her and gently picked her up into his arms. He shook her gently. Allura slowly came to in his arms and opened her eyes to see the Paladins standing around her.

At the same time Shiro turned his attention to Lotor and managed to wake him and get him to sit up. Allura and Lotor turned their attention to one another with a look of panic on their faces. Shiro could only guess at what they had gone through.

“Where’s Honerva?” Keith asked.

“She’s gone.” Allura said dejectedly, “I wasn’t able to stop her.”

“My mother is searching through the realities for her perfect one. We were unable to stop her.” Lotor explained.

Allura vacated Lance's arms and wrapped her arms around her knees. Lance rubbed circles onto her back, hoping to provide a little comfort. Lotor stood up and joined the group.

“We haven’t lost yet.” Everyone turned to look at Shiro. There was a look of confusion on their faces.

“Surely she’s something foreign in each of these realities. Surely you can find her and pull her out. Or even destroy her.” Shiro suggested.

“But that would take an extraordinary amount of quintessence. More than I have to give.” Allura replied.

“Then use us. Take some from us and surely together we can help.”

Allura looked around at the people around her and felt her heart swell at the fact that they would be willing to do this for her. But she also worried that it wouldn't work. It had taken so much quintessence to reach this place and now the impossible was being suggested. Could she really put her friends in danger like this?

“Allura, whatever you need from us we’re willing to give. We’re a team.” Keith said.

“Yeah. Surely we have enough quintessence between all of us.” Pidge added.

Allura smiled, “It will take the largest amount of quintessence I’ve ever dealt with. More than when I opened the rift.”

“Then use the Lions as well.” Shiro suggested.

“But I’d have to drain them. There would be nothing left. It could kill us as well. It could take everything we have to do this.”

“Maybe this is what Voltron was for. To save not just our reality but all of them. As much as we would like it to, nothing lasts forever. Besides we're Paladins of Voltron. We promised to defend the universe against all threats and I think this counts, don't you?”

The group fell silent at the idea of sacrificing the Lions that they had grown so close to as well as the possibility that this could kill them. But at the end of the day if it was them or all of reality they knew they needed to make that sacrifice, as difficult and heartbreaking as it would be. If it meant that their families and all of reality was saved then it was a sacrifice they were willing to make. 

In the silence the familiar rumbles of the Lions were heard. It grew into roars and the Paladins all had tears in their eyes when they realised that the Lions were consenting to the plan. They were willing to sacrifice themselves for the sake of reality.

“We’re willing as well.” Lance said. The rest of the Paladins nodded. Allura got up and they entered into a group hug. No one wanted to comment on the fact that this may be the last time they would do this. Those they had left behind briefly entered their heads and they knew and knew in that moment that they would do whatever it took to save their families as well as their reality. 

“Do we have time to say goodbye?” Hunk asked. His question was answered by another tremor, more powerful than before, and a crack appearing in the ground.

“Unfortunately not. If we are to act we must act now.” Lotor answered.

The Paladins nodded sadly before turning towards Allura.

“So how are we doing this?” Keith asked.

“I need to take your quintessence from you. Once I have enough I can then use it to defeat Honerva once and for all.” Allura explained. She reached out and everyone was soon holding hands. One by one they closed their eyes and focused on Allura while Allura focused on them.

They all began to glow as Allura absorbed their quintessence. The Paladins began to feel weaker but didn’t let it stop them. In their minds they could feel the Lions growing fainter until they grew completely silent. It was an unnerving feeling and all of them sent out a brief goodbye. They felt the Lions do the same before their calls received nothing but silence. Eventually Allura broke the connection and the rest of the group dropped to their knees.

“Allura.” Lance said as he looked at the woman he loved.

“Lance.” Allura knelt down and cradled his face in her hands, “This is not goodbye. We shall see each other again. But in the meantime I want you to live. I want you to find love, happiness, a purpose. I want you to be happy. Do not hold onto me so fiercely that you forget about yourself. You deserve to be happy. If you don't do it for yourself, then do it for me. Live your best life Lance McClain.”

She wiped the tears from his cheeks and placed a kiss on his lips. He reached up and squeezed her hand before letting go and nodding, “I will, I promise.”

She smiled and stood up, “I wanted to thank you all for everything. All the time we spent together and the fun times we had...”

“I thought you said this wasn’t goodbye.” Shiro interrupted.

“It’s not. Allura will not be alone when she faces my mother.” Lotor said as he stood up. Allura turned to him surprised.

“Did you really think I, we would let you do this alone. I am going with you. I may not have the powers of the Lifegivers but I do have some alchemy abilities. I can help in ways the others cannot. They have done their bit, we have not.” He explained.

Allura stared at Lotor for a moment before nodding, “Thank you.”

She turned back to the Paladins, “I will return. Once I, we have fixed the damage that Honerva has done I will return to you. I don't know how long it will take but I'll come back to you. I promise.”

“We’ll wait.” Keith said.

With that Allura and Lotor approached the central hub as they did so the light from it grew brighter until the Paladins were forced to shield their eyes. The light seemed to take over the entire space and each of the Paladins would swear that they heard a scream a second before they blacked out and lost consciousness. The only question that now remained was...had it worked?


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to write a quick message to thank everyone for the lovely messages throughout this fic. It's greatly appreciated and I'm so glad that people are enjoying this fic.

Shiro regained consciousness and noticed he was no longer in the Zenith. He and the other Paladins had all been placed in one room. He guessed it was on the ATLAS by the fact that Coran was stood next to his bed.

“Coran?” He asked, his voice hoarse.

“Hello Number One. Quite the trip you had. I must say when you all disappeared into the rift all we could do was wait for you to return. You worried us for a moment but we’re glad you’re back.”

“What happened?”

“We don’t know. One minute you went through the rift, the next you came back through and the Lions were unresponsive while you were all unconscious. Gave us quite the scare. I was hoping you could tell me what happened.”

Shiro sighed and slumped into the hospital bed, “They did it.”

“Who did what?”

“Allura and Lotor must have stopped Honerva.”

“That’s another thing I was going to ask you, where is Allura?”

“She’s still in the Zenith. She must have sent us back.”

“But how will she get back?”

“I don’t know. I also don’t know when she’ll be back.”

“What do you mean?”

So Shiro told him. He told Coran everything that had happened in the Zenith. He sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed as he finished, “I promise you Coran, she _is_ coming back. There’s no way she would leave without saying goodbye. It’s just a matter of how long it takes to fix the damage Honerva did. But she _will_ return. I know it.”

He smiled and Coran gave a wobbly smile in return. Shiro felt bad for the Altean. He had lost so much and now he had lost his surrogate daughter, no matter how temporary it was. He hugged Coran and continued to whisper words of encouragement as they both held back tears.

He noticed movement out of the corner of his eye and let Coran go. He watched as each of the Paladins began to wake up. He patted Coran on the shoulder and made his way over to Keith. He felt a weight lift off his shoulders when Keith’s eyes opened. Coran walked between the others and tended to them as they woke up.

“Hey.” Keith croaked as he looked up at Shiro.

“Hey. How are you feeling?” Shiro asked as he stroked Keith’s hair.

“Tired.”

“That’ll be the quintessence drain.”

“Where are we?”

“Medical wing by the looks of it. Coran said they found us unconscious inside our Lions. The Lions seem to be unresponsive as well.”

Keith looked down, “So the warning came true. The Lions and Voltron are gone.”

“Yeah it seems so.”

A solemn silence fell between the two. The fact that they were still here was a good indication that Honerva had been stopped but it also meant that Voltron was gone. Their days as Paladins were over. All they could do now was wait for Allura and Lotor to return to them, if they did at all. They would have to rebuild the universe and deal with the last of the Galra empire on their own. A prospect Shiro had mixed feelings about. Voltron was the sign of peace throughout the universe and he wasn’t sure how the Coalition was going to react to the news that Voltron was gone for good. But he knew they had to try. They owed it to everyone who had been lost in the war.

Everyone got out of bed and stood in the middle of the room. They all felt the need to be close to one another. What had just happened hung heavily over them all as they tried to process it. Allura and Lotor had seemingly defeated Honerva while they hadn’t really done a lot more than offered their quintessence. It was an uncomfrtable realisation but knew they had done their bit even if it didn't feel like much. However it would be up to them to lead the rebuilding effort. The news that the Lions remained unresponsive had hit each of them hard as well. Silently they made their way to each other the Lions. They had to see for themselves.

Each stood in front of a Lion. Shiro was with Black, Keith with Red, Lance with Blue, Hunk with Yellow and Pidge with Green. They each stared up at the Lions that had been their companions and the silence was deafening. No matter how much they reached out the only response was silence. Not a single one of the Paladins had dry eyes as they slowly came to accept that the Lions were gone. They were now nothing more than their mechanical shells. Allura really had drained them of their quintessence.

They each checked all of the Lions before meeting in one of the rec rooms. The mood was low as they began to mourn the Lions. Shiro gripped Keith’s hand as it made him think of the future. He just hoped that this was the better outcome.

“Paladins to the bridge!”

They looked up and around, confused by the call but went to see what was going on. They entered ATLAS’ bridge to see commotion amongst the crew.

“Coran, what’s going on?” Shiro asked as he stepped into the Captain role.

“We’re getting reports from members of the Coalition of disturbances. Something has happened but we can’t figure out what it is.” He replied.

“Can we get the reported disturbances?”

“We can. Shall I set coordinates?” Veronica asked.

“Yes. Let’s see what these disturbances are.” Shiro replied.

Within an hour ATLAS was at the location of the disturbances and when they got there none of them could believe their eyes. Coran got up and walked as far forward as he got, “This is impossible. This can’t be.”

“Do you recognise the planet?” Shiro asked.

Coran nodded his head as stared out of the window, “It’s Daibazaal. It’s the Galra home world but how did it get here? It was destroyed ten thousand years ago along with Altea.”

“It must have been Allura and Lotor. They were repairing damage done to all realities so maybe they found a way to bring these planets back.” Shiro suggested as he had no idea what else could’ve happened, “Okay let’s get to the second coordinates.”

His crew nodded and Shiro had a feeling he knew that they would find when they got there. Sure enough a planet was now in the spot where one hadn’t been before. Coran remained silent at the front of the bridge.

“Coran, are you okay?” Lance asked as he walked up to the older Altean. He noticed immediately that he had tears gathering at the corner of his eyes. The Altean turned around and faced Shiro, “Can we land?”

“Of course. Do you know this planet?”

Coran nodded, “It’s Altea.”

A shockwave resounded around the crew at what he said.

“Are you sure Coran?” Pidge asked. Coran nodded.

“I’d know that planet anywhere. I’m sure of it. How soon can we land?”

“Within the hour. The Paladins and I will accompany you.” Shiro replied. Coran nodded, secretly grateful for the company.

Preparations were made and a ship was sent down with the group on it. They didn’t want to risk something happening while they were on the planets surface or ATLAS getting stuck on the ground so kept ATLAS in orbit. As they descended Coran was practically bouncing with excitement. It was a surprise to no one that he was the first off of the ship. He stood a short distance in front of them with his arms stretched out wide, eyes closed and just took in deep breaths.

“Coran, you okay?” Lance asked.

“Yes. I’m fantastic, never been better.” He replied breathing in the Altean air.

He let his arms fall and let himself cry. He thought his home had been lost. Gone, vanished, destroyed and was now only a memory that even the existing Alteans had no idea what Altea had been like. Yet here he stood on its surface for the first time in ten thousand years. The Paladins immediately came and wrapped their arms around Coran as he let out his emotions.

No one kept track of the time and eventually Coran calmed down enough to begin exploring. He led the Paladins through the juniberry fields that had landed in and towards the buildings in front of them.

“Captain. Come in, Captain.” Veronica’s voice came through loud and clear.

“Go ahead Veronica.” Shiro replied as he fell behind the others.

“What’s your status?”

“We’re on Altea. We landed in some juniberry fields and we’re going to explore a bit. We’ll report in later.”

“Copy that.”

He caught up with the others and grabbed Keith’s hand as they followed Coran around. Everyone’s spirits lifted watching him being so excited. It was good to see him happy as Allura had yet to return to them. Coran showed them all the places he remembered and shared stories of Alfor and the other original Paladins. He also told stories of the Altean royal family, pointing out places where his stories had taken place. Everyone could tell that it was all bittersweet for Coran. While he had his planet back, the life and civilisation he’d known was long gone.

Shiro put his hand on Coran’s shoulder, “This is a chance to rebuild. All those Alteans we saved have a new home now. Altea, your civilisation are alive once again.”

Coran nodded and gave a smile in response. It was a miracle and wished that Allura was here to see what she had made possible. Coran hoped that Shiro was right and that Allura did return. He didn't want to experience the revival of their home world without her. Shiro saw his face fall and squeezed his shoulder again.

“She’ll see this all one day. She’ll come back.” Shiro said trying to reassure Coran.

“Come on. Let’s get back, we have a lot of work to do resettling the Alteans.” Shiro said as he stepped away and went to collect the others to make their way back.

Once back on the ATLAS Shiro told the crew the plan to bring the Alteans to Altea. They made their way to where they had left the Alteans had began the process of resettlement. It would take them a week to relocate all the Alteans and it was left to Coran to manage the process. It made him the de facto leader which he took with grace and the Alteans were pleased to have a leader to follow for the time being.

Shiro smiled as he looked out and watched the stars passing by as the ATLAS travelled back to Earth. It finally felt real. They had done it. They had won. The war was over and the rebuilding could begin. While it was bittersweet that Allura wasn’t with them Shiro knew it was only a matter of time before she came back.

But as happy as he was that they had won and Allura was alive he also knew this would mean his end. His time in this reality was coming to an end. He didn’t want to go but he knew that he must. He had to give his younger self his body and his life back. At least it was in a much better place than where he had been in his own life. It was time to say goodbye even if he didn’t want to go.


	26. Chapter 26

Keith found him in their room later that night, “Hey.”

“Hey.” Shiro greeted.

As soon as Keith got close Shiro pulled him closer and couldn’t resist the urge to bring their lips together in a deep kiss. He was going to miss this man. After a few minutes he pulled away and raised his hands to cup Keith’s cheeks. He stroked his thumb across his cheekbones and stared. He wanted to commit his face to memory.

“I love you.” Shiro said before kissing Keith again. He wanted to remember everything. He wanted to remember what it was like to kiss him, hold him and taste him.

“I love you too.” Keith replied as he looked up at Shiro confused. There was something wrong but he couldn’t figure out what it was, “Are you okay?”

Shiro nodded, “I’m fine. I just, I really love you.”

Keith blushed and buried his head in Shiro’s chest which caused Shiro to laugh. Keith looked up again and squeezed his arms tightly around him for a moment before pulling away and reaching for his hand. He pulled him to their bedroom.

Once there he laid Keith on the bed and laid in between his legs, intent on giving Keith the best night of his life.

Hours later, Shiro stared at the ceiling and felt a wave of fatigue hit him. He knew his time was coming to an end. He had achieved all he had set out to achieve. There was no reason for him to be here anymore. He had done what he had been sent back to do.

Movement next to him caught his attention. He looked at the mass of black hair that rested on his chest and his heart swelled.

When Keith had died in his own time he never thought he would get to see him again. Getting to see him again as well as everything else they had been through was like a dream come true. The war had kept him grounded in reality but it still felt like heaven.

Knowing what it was like to be with Keith, to kiss him, hold him in his arms, to love him, to be loved by him. It was beyond anything he could imagine. He suppressed a laugh that was growing in his chest at his own cheesy words. But he meant it, it truly felt like heaven.

He supposed in a way it was. The future he had lived wouldn’t happen now. His existence was coming to an end. The thought of dying had always bothered him. First with his diagnosis and then with being stuck in the Black Lion’s consciousness. Now he had no fear of it. He was leaving things in a good place. He was surprised by how little he feared the end he knew was coming. Maybe it was because he knew some version of him would continue to live.

He leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of Keith’s head and it caused the man to press himself further against Shiro. He couldn’t help the smile that came to his lips as he watched Keith reach out for him even in his sleep.

He still couldn’t believe everything he had done in his time in the past. Ever since he had received the news of Keith’s death he had wanted him back. If he was being honest with himself he had missed Keith for far longer than that. He just hadn’t known how to bridge the gap between them and then he had lost that chance. It had crushed him in a way he hadn’t expected.

Was it a good idea to start a relationship with Keith while the war was still going on? Probably not. But Shiro would never have forgiven himself if he had passed on this chance. He had been given a second chance and he didn’t want to waste it. And there wasn’t a moment he regretted that decision. The chance to be with Keith had made him happier than he had ever been. He still couldn’t believe he had passed on the chance in his own time. He was such an idiot! So stupid for letting the love of his life walk out of his life because he was a coward and had settled for something that had made both parties miserable.

For the first time in a long time, he thought about the life he had left behind. Compared to this timeline it seemed so much sadder. Everyone had seemed miserable due to some reason. Everything had seemed duller when put against this world. It was like everything that could’ve gone wrong had gone wrong.

His thoughts turned to Curtis. The man he had married, the man he had let in and that he now knew was responsible for the attack on Earth. He still felt sick and guilty whenever he though about it. He had let that man into his life and yet he had committed such a heinous act, no matter how unintentional it had been.

His thoughts turned to the life they’d built together. It had been peaceful but boring. Being retired meant he didn’t do a lot and he hadn’t exactly gotten into any hobbies so he had often followed Curtis and done what he had wanted. The two of them had been able to relax together but Shiro felt like he became a part of Curtis’ life rather than the two of them building something new together, he now realised. He had been content but dissatisfied. He hadn’t been happy, truly happy in his own time. Flying the IGF ATLAS and with the Paladins again had made him realised just how much he missed space travel and exploration.

So he had to ask; why had he done it? Deep down he knew the answer but he didn’t want to admit to it. It made uncomfortable to think that he could use a person in the way he now knew he had used Curtis. Thinking back to the first year after the war had ended he could see how lonely he had become and how left behind he had felt. So he had latched onto the first person to show interest to alleviate the loneliness he’d been feeling. Coupled with guilt and regret and it had all come together in a perfect storm that had led him down the wrong path.

He quickly realised how much he had settled in his own time. He hadn’t allowed himself to be truly happy as he had been ruled by fear. He’d been scared he would ruin things with Keith and in the process had thrown what he had with Keith away. He had let go of his epic love and the best thing in his life. He regretted making those decisions. He regretted that he had used Curtis like that and hurt Keith in a way he couldn’t imagine. It hurt to think about how much he had unintentionally hurt those around him.

Being with Keith had been a blessing and an eye-opening experience. He had made him come to some uncomfortable conclusions about himself but also shown him what real love was like. How he felt for Keith was unlike anything he had felt for anyone else before. It consumed his entire being and made him feel like he was capable of anything. He felt like he’d found a home with Keith and knew that he had someone who would always have his back and be there for him no matter what, just as he would be there for Keith. He smiled as he thought back to how their love had transcended death itself and brought him back, on more than one occasion.

He was finally content with the way things were and was comfortable leaving. He placed one last kiss and on Keith’s head and closed his eyes for the last time.

* * *

_He opened his eyes and found himself in the ‘in-between’. He smiled as a wave of calm washed over him._

“ _It’s time, isn’t it?” He asked as he turned to face the people with him._

_In front of him stood Allura, Lotor and the White Lion. Allura stepped forward and smiled._

“ _Your work is done. Thank you for being willing to do this.” She said as she held a hand over her heart._

_Shiro nodded his head, “Of course. I do have one question though.”_

“ _And what would that be, Black Paladin?” Lotor asked as he stood next to Allura. Shiro watched the two and realised they were closer than he had thought. How comfortable they were with each other was plain to see._

“ _The future I was from, is it…?”_

_Allura shook her head, “It never existed. It is not even one of the alternate realities that we saved. You see those events were never supposed to happen. So with you returning and changing things it simply ceased to exist.”_

_Shiro nodded. It was bittersweet to hear._

“ _So what will happen to me?”_

“ _You will fade as well. This version of you will cease to exist.” Lotor explained._

“ _I, we_ _didn’t want you to go alone.” Allura said as she stepped closer, “Thank you for being willing to do this.”_

 _She hugged him and he felt himself grow tired. The scenery changed and he rested on the bench that appeared behind him._ _He laid down when the fatigue became too much and he could no longer sit up._

“ _I give you my permission to knock some sense into my head if I ever seem to going down a path similar to the one that led to my future, and t_ _ell Keith I love him.” He whispered what were to be his final words._

“ _He already knows. Goodbye Shiro.” Allura said placing a kiss on his forehead._

_He closed his eyes for the last time._

_Allura stayed by his side and watched as he faded. Once he was gone she wiped the tears from her face and turned to the others, “We have work to do. If we want to rejoin our friends we should start work as soon as possible.”_

_Lotor and the White Lion nodded and they left to begin their work._

* * *

Shiro woke with a start. He gasped and looked around the room.

“Shiro? You okay?”

The voice drew his attention to his side where he noticed that someone was beside him. He looked and saw Keith. Shiro was thankful that they both were wearing pyjamas. He wasn’t sure how he would react if they had both been naked, although he knew that they had had sex earlier that night.

“Shiro?”

Shiro swallowed and laid back down, “I’m fine. Bad dream is all.”

Keith leaned up on his elbow and put his other hand on Shiro’s chest, “You want to talk about it?”

Shiro shook his head, “It wasn’t that bad. It just woke me up. I’m fine, I promise. Let’s go back to sleep.”

Keith looked at him for a few moments and Shiro smiled at him hoping it was convincing enough for him to not ask questions. Keith leaned down and kissed him.

“Okay, but I’m here if you want to talk.”

“I know.”

Keith settled down and soon fell back to sleep. He cuddled into Shiro’s chest while Shiro simply watched him. It felt odd to be in control of his body again. He hoped that this experience was the last adventure he would have with body hijacking. He really didn’t want to deal with it again.

He stared up at the ceiling and took in the smells and sounds of his surroundings. He knew that he was still on the ATLAS and that he now shared a room and a bed with Keith. He watched him for a few moments before trying to get up. Luckily Keith didn’t wake up and he made his way to the bathroom.

He turned on the tap and splashed some water on his face. It was overwhelming to be back and in control of his body again. It was even more overwhelming to wake up in Keith’s arms. He had been something he had once dreamed of and now he was doing it. He tried to think of what he had been through but his thoughts were an incoherent jumble. He couldn’t make sense of any of it.

He left the bathroom and, with a last look at Keith, left the room. He wondered the halls and took in the familiar surroundings of the ATLAS. He could feel her in the back of his mind but it only added to his jumbled thoughts. He eventually found his way to the observation deck and stared at the projections of the stars. He didn’t keep track of how long he stood there but eventually he felt himself calm down.

His thoughts slowly lined up and he began to be able to make sense of them.

He thought about all that he had been through since the other him had taken over. He remembered strong emotion from him. Guilt, regret and love were three of the biggest that he had felt. In a way it mirrored his own emotions, especially towards Keith. He wasn’t sure he deserved Keith but he wasn’t about to deny the man anything. He couldn’t pull away from him. He didn’t want to and wasn’t sure he would be able to. Even now, with his brain a mess, he wanted nothing more than to get back into bed with Keith and cuddle under the covers. He smiled at the thought. He couldn’t believe that he could do that if he wanted. He could kiss, cuddle and be with Keith in all the ways he wanted.

His thoughts turned to what the other him had done with the ATLAS. He had improved it in ways he had never thought of and connected with the Paladins. He had been able to strengthen the bonds he had with the Paladins and even fly Black again. He almost couldn’t believe what had been achieved. He knew of it all even if he couldn’t control his body.

He couldn’t say that what the other him had done was bad because he had actually had the confidence to do things that he wouldn’t have. His hand went up to his lips as he thought of Keith.

He was lost in thought when he felt arms wrap around his waist. He felt panic for a split second before he smelled the familiar scent of Keith’s shampoo and he relaxed.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Keith asked as he rested his head on his back.

“Yeah. Just my head was a little more messed up than I thought. I didn’t want to disturb you.” Shiro replied as he rested his hands over Keith’s.

“You can disturb all you want. You know you can talk to me.”

“I know, and I will. Just not right now.”

Shiro turned around in Keith’s arms. He grabbed Keith’s chin and leaned down to kiss him before he could second guess himself. It was his first kiss with Keith with him being fully aware and he was going to enjoy it. It didn’t take long for the kiss to deepen and they spent a couple of minutes indulging before Shiro pulled away.

“Wow.” He whispered as he let his hand drop to rest over Keith’s waist.

Keith smirked, “You kiss me all the time.”

“And? Still feels amazing to kiss you.”

Keith blushed at Shiro’s words and rested his head on Shiro’s chest. Shiro couldn’t help but smile at the bashfulness that Keith displayed. Almost two years together and he still couldn’t fully accept compliments. Well, Shiro was just going to have to keep saying them so Keith got used to them.

“Let’s get back to bed.” Shiro suggested as he rubbed Keith’s back.

Keith nodded and pulled away. He held Shiro’s hand and the two walked back to their room. They settled into bed. It took a while to get to sleep but Shiro was sure that he would get used to everything as more time passed. He promised himself that he was going to do his best to not undo all the work the other him had done. With that thought he fell asleep.

* * *

And get used to it, he did. An unknown consequence of the future Shiro fading from existence was that the memories of him faded. Within six months he had no memory that a future, alternate version of himself had taken over his body. Instead the memories became his own. He didn’t just forget the other him but all memories of the future he had came back to stop. While he remembered his actions, he often didn’t remember the reasoning or his brain came up with alternate reasons. The best example was his memory of his reaction to finding out the truth about Curtis. Instead of feeling guilty about marrying him he remembered feeling like he had betrayed everyone by allowing him on the crew. So all thoughts of the future disappeared. So things were looking good, really good. 

As for the Paladins, almost all of them remained on Earth. Lance was helping Pidge in her lab as Matt had returned to the rebels to help with the rebuilding. Hunk had become a diplomat and he was very good at it. His cooking prowess was well known and many came from far and wide when they heard that Hunk would be providing the food, which he was more than happy to do. Keith had returned to the Blades to help out with rebuilding while Shiro had remained with the Garrison and the ATLAS for the time being. Although he knew that he didn't want to stay for long. There was something pulling him out to space and he couldn't deny the call for too long. It also helped that Keith was out there and he wanted to spend as much time with Keith as possible. Romelle had returned to New Altea with Coran and they were trying to rebuild Altean society although they were still in frequent contact with the Paladins. Krolia and Kosmo had returned to the Blades with Keith and were helping where they could.

It felt good to know that everyone had found their place and that they had remained close. None of them would say it but they had feared that they would part ways after the war as they didn't need to be together, but luckily that hadn't happened and their ragtag family remained together. Even if there was a part missing with Allura gone. They all eagerly awaited the day that she returned.

Keith had just returned from a mission with the Blades, and the Paladins had all remained on Earth. They were going over plans for a relief mission when coordinates began to flash on the screen. They looked around and it seemed that every screen on the ATLAS was flashing with the same coordinates.

Shiro’s datapad flashed with an incoming call from Coran, “Coran, how are you?”

“I’m well. Have you seen these coordinates before?” He asked as he held up a pad with the exact same coordinates that they had on the screens up to show him.

“We have. They’re all over ATLAS’ screens at the moment.”

“How curious. I wonder where they are leading to.”

Shiro felt a pull from the ATLAS and he smiled, “I think I know where they lead to.”

“Where?” Lance asked.

“To Allura.”

“Are you sure?” Coran asked.

Shiro nodded, “Only one way to find out. Shall we go find the princess?”

Everyone nodded their consent and preparations began to be made to follow the coordinates.

“We’ll pick you up on the way Coran.”

“Aye aye Captain.”

The call ended and Shiro took his place at the central console as IGF ATLAS took off, “Alright people, let’s go bring the princess home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the main story is over. Shiro has fixed the future and is now gone. 
> 
> Everything from now on will be epilogue. It won't flow as neatly as the previous chapters as the epilogue will be more focused on important events in their lives which I want to write about.


	27. Epilogue Chapter 1

The ATLAS made its way through space as it followed the coordinates. Almost everyone had remained silent throughout the trip and the anticipation was thick enough to cut with a knife. Everyone just wanted to reach the location and bring Allura home.

“Does anyone recognise this place?” Hunk asked as he watched the unfamiliar stars pass by.

“No, but this is where the coordinates are taking us.” Pidge explained as she triple checked the coordinates.

“Does it matter as long as it gets us to Allura?” Lance asked as he stood beside Hunk.

“Whatever this place is, we need to be weary and prepared for anything. We don’t know if we’ll be walking into hostile territory.” Keith warned as he watched his team.

They all nodded. Shiro squeezed Keith’s waist as they stood at the central console. Everyone was on edge as they drew closer to their destination. No one knew what to expect or even if this was really going to lead them to the Princess.

Silence once again fell as they continued onwards. No one kept track of how long they travelled but eventually a small planet appeared in front of them.

“Is this the place?” Lance asked as he turned to Pidge.

Pidge checked the coordinates again, “It seems so. Let’s land and see what we find.”

The Paladins nodded and Shiro gave his orders, “The Paladins, Coran and I will go down onto the planet’s surface. We’ll investigate and come back as soon as possible.”

The crew nodded and the Paladins made their way to a smaller ship to make their way to the planet.

The journey didn’t take too long but the nerves and anticipation were again palpable in the air as they got closer. Once they landed Pidge got out a small device and led them forward. They had no idea where they were going but if it meant they got Allura back then they were willing to take that chance.

They lost track of how long they walked and eventually they found their way to a large temple complex. Just where were they? What was this place?

Pidge stopped and looked up. Everyone looked at her, looked at the temple and then back to her.

“Is this the place?” Keith asked.

Pidge nodded, “This is where the coordinates lead. I guess we’ll have to investigate inside.”

“Okay. Be careful everyone. We don’t know what is here or what we’ll find.” Shiro said. Everyone nodded and they drew their weapons as they cautiously moved forward. They remained a tight group as they entered the temple.

Luckily there were no booby traps and they easily made their way inside. They searched every nook to see if Allura was in any of the room but so far they hadn’t found anything. They began to feel a bit disheartened but they still had the main, central room to search.

The way was blocked by two large stone doors.

“How are we going to get this open?” Hunk asked as he scratched his head. They had tried pushing on them to no avail.

Coran scratched his chin and stepped forward. Everyone watched him curiously as he felt around the edge of the door frame.

“Ah yes, I think this is it.” He said as he pulled on something and something clicked. The Paladins waited nervously. Something in the temple rumbled and then slowly the doors opened. Their jaws dropped as Coran stood in front of them triumphantly.

“Okay, how did you know to do that?” Lance asked, pointing an accusing finger at Coran.

“This place reminds me of something I remember hearing stories of as a child. You see on Altea, we had stories of our ancient past. One story was about a temple which had a number of traps and switches in it. It was all so that the internal part of the temple could be protected from outside attack. No one ever knew where these temples had been built as we never found any evidence of them on Altea itself so it was always assumed that it was completely fictional. I guess there was a grain of truth in those stories.” He replied.

“Let’s just be thankful that you remember those stories. Although how did you know how to find the mechanism to open the door?” Shiro asked.

“Oh well, last time I was on Earth I played that video game...I believe it was called Tomb Raider with Lance and Pidge. I just put the two together as the story in the game sounded quite like the story of the temple from my childhood.” Coran replied.

Lance and Pidge slapped a hand onto their foreheads, Hunk’s jaw fell to the floor and Keith and Shiro rolled their eyes. Of course that was how Coran figured it out. They all laughed as they couldn’t believe it. They were always grateful for Coran’s obscure knowledge, now more than ever.

They cautiously made their way into the central chamber of the temple and get an eye out for any traps. Shiro clapped Coran on the shoulder and they made their way forward.

The room appeared empty. They continued to move forward and kept their eyes open for anything abnormal. Lance was in the front and took a step around the central altar and gasped.

“Allura!”

The others ran forward and sure enough Allura was behind the altar. But she wasn’t alone. Lotor lay next to her. Both of them were unconscious but alive.

Lance knelt down and checked Allura’s pulse. He breathed a sigh of relief. He shook her gently but she remained unconscious. Her expression changed as if she was in a dream so she was definitely alive. Lance picked her up and carried her in his arms. Coran was right next to him.

“We’ll take Allura back to the ship.” Lance said as he stepped forward.

Shiro nodded, “We’ll be right behind you with Lotor.”

They all made their way to the ship with one question on their minds – how had Allura and Lotor ended up there?

They made their way back to the ATLAS and Allura and Lotor were immediately sent to the medical wing. All they could do now was wait and see how they were. They remained in the medical wing and waited on any news.

It took a couple of hours before a doctor came out and gave them the news that Allura and Lotor were suffering from exhaustion and would probably wake up within the next 24 hours. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief hearing the news that the two were going to be okay. Now it was a waiting game.

* * *

The Paladins had all been sent away a few hours after Allura and Lotor had been admitted into the medical wing. None of them could rest though and impatiently waited for news. They didn’t receive the news they were waiting for until the early hours of the morning.

They all rushed to the medical wing and to Allura and Lotor’s room.

Inside Allura was awake but resting in the pillows. Lotor was in the same position.

“How are the two of you feeling?” Shiro asked as he stood in between the two of them.

“Tired but otherwise alright.” Allura replied.

“How did you two end up in that temple?” Keith asked.

“I believe I can answer that one. The temple you found us in, is an ancient temple that was used to worship the White Lion. It hadn’t been used in centuries by the time Voltron was created. Most had forgotten about its very existence.” Lotor explained.

“How do you know this?” Keith asked.

“You learn a lot over the course of ten thousand years.” Lotor replied cryptically. Keith shook his head at the vague answer.

“But how did you get out of the Zenith? Why did you end up at the temple?” Pidge asked.

“The White Lion helped us leave the Zenith after we were able to repair the damage that Honerva had done to the realities. Once our work was done we were no longer needed and we could return. I’m just glad you were able to find us.” Allura replied.

“We’ll always find you.” Lance said as he squeezed her hand. The two shared a smile but it was tinged with sadness. Their last conversation still fresh in their minds despite the months that had passed.

“We’re glad you’re back.” Shiro said to break the tension that was growing.

“Indeed we are, Princess. It was a dreary time without you. I’m, we’re glad you’re safe.” Coran said as he stood on Allura’s other side and leaned over to give her a hug.

“How are you feeling?” Shiro asked Lotor.

“Much the same as the Princess.” He said.

“Glad you’re okay, and thank you for helping.”

Lotor nodded at Shiro’s words as the others fussed over Allura. It was good to see them both back and Shiro felt like a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. It was like having Allura and Lotor back was confirmation of something. He wasn’t sure what it was but having them back settled something in him.

He made his way over to Allura and hugged her.

“Thank you.” She whispered in his ear.

“For what?” He asked as he pulled back.

“For everything.” She replied cryptically. She looked over to Lotor and he nodded. The two shared a smile before she turned back to Shiro. She smiled at him and squeezed his hand before letting go. She didn’t want to confuse him or reveal anything but she was, and always would be, thankful for all he and his future self had done to restore balance and peace in the universe. Even though it had meant creating a new timeline, not that she would ever reveal that. It was her little secret.

But it felt good to be back with her family. She was so glad she had made it back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first epilogue chapter. There will be more but they will be focussed on specific events in Shiro and Keith's lives after the war more than a flowing narrative.


End file.
